I hate my autistic brother am I a bad person?
Okay so I'm a 12 year old female and my brother who's a 13 year old male. So I've always been told I had to do something or look out for my brother because he's different,and so that naturally meant that I had to grow up faster and make sure he's okay all the time. He doesn't listen to me and screams at me. One time he got extremely mad at me and hit me so hard he left bruises. Also when I was in third grade I kept seeing him watch me while I was changing,I naturally told my parents and they told me I was lying and the fifth time I told them they "talked" to him and he kept doing that one time they actually caught him and they didn't do anything. He gets away with everything like I'm lactose intolerant so I can't eat anything really dairy because after I eat it I begin to have extreme pain,well the only thing my family eats is dairy so I can't get anything they make. Well my brother has some texture issues and my parents make sure that they avoid that all the time,but when it comes to me I have to eat it or pretend I'm not hungry,and when my brother sees this he just laughs at me and my parents do nothing. He was also friends with someone who choked me out and he knew about it and chose not to believe me,so our relationship isn't good. Today he was supposed to take a shower and I was going to take one after him. My mom told him no about something and she was overwhelmed so she yelled it well he started crying and freaking out because he couldn't do the thing he wanted to,so he stormed in the bathroom and threw a tablet at my mom and stormed back in the bathroom and went in the shower crying. He proceeded to bang himself against the shower walls,stomp his feet,throw stuff,and scream/cry for 2 hours. Well after his cries turned normal my mom went to comfort him and he ran to the other side of the shower every single time she got close which made her upset and she started saying it was all her fault. Well right now he's throwing stuff and knocking stuff down and screaming/crying and I'm kinda scared I told my mom that I was scared and she told me to deal with it until he clams down. Also I hate him because he watched me get changed knowing it was wrong,tried to kiss me multiple times over the years,and tried to make me undress while he was holding a knife when my parents left us alone, he's abused me over the years, laughed at me and told me he'd wish I'd die,and snuck into my room at night when he thought I was asleep to do other things I don't feel like sharing rn. I was just giving an example that happened today thanks for listening.