u/TrueCryptographer616

Given the disinformation and accusations contained in the other thread dodgy_practices_at_bp_myaree_scamfraudtheft_by employee
I thought this might be helpful

This problem is happening a lot

Petrol Stations now almost all use a system such as Scancam
This scans the plate of every car, and alerts the operator if a previous "theft" has been reported.
It then offers a "debt recovery" option.

In a sense, it's just like those stupid random robodebt SMSs from obscure debt agencies, saying "you owe Wilson Parking $50, but for today only you can settle the debt by paying $30."

So no, the operator isn't pocketing the money, ffs.

I guess the first point to note is that it is an integrated system. So if a drive-off was reported months ago, at a different servo, you will get pinged the next time you visit a servo using that system.

As to why so many mistakes are made, I have a couple of theories:

1. The system for recording the alleged offenses is highly automated, designed to operate using AI, without human intervention. So for example, if you're at a busy servo with a huge queue, and you do the right thing and move before paying, you might get a "drive-off" auto recorded.
2. Plate readers are not infallible, especially since they are capturing the plate from video in real-time. When say somebody like the cops pick up somebody with their automated car-based cameras, they obviously double-check before they pull you over and slap the cuffs on. That's not happening here. It could be either the initial read was wrong, or your plate was read wrong.

My Advice

1. Don't be a dickhead. It's not the fault of the poor schmuck behind the counter, who can probably barely understand the system.
2. Politely ask them to double-check the read of your plate. ie that the plate recorded for the debt actually matches your car.
3. Ask them (again politely) to provide you with a print-out, or at least details of the alleged offense. If they decline, point out to them that it is unreasonable for them to demand payment of a debt without giving details.
4. Ask them if you can bypass paying the alleged debt, and simply prepay for the fuel you need.
5. Ask them if they have a dispute process. If not, ask them which system they are using.
6. Scancam has a phone number you can call: 0417 226 226
7. Another provider, "Fuel Recovery Services" is 1300 024 851
8. Even if you can't resolve it on the day, do NOT ignore it. It will bite you again at the next servo using the system.
9. DO complain about mistakes to the Petrol company. They need to fix this system

We need to be honest with ourselves, and critically examine our choices, past, present, and future.
Write them down if it helps.

I'm not suggesting that there is a simple solution, only that we need to understand the limitations that we are placing on our love lives.

I'm not saying that I have this all figured out, cos I don't.
But I'm also not going to sit here and pretend that "I'm doing everything I can to get (re)married and I don't know why God has cursed me to be single??"

I think we all need to start with the proposition of "I could be in a a relationship, looking at marriage, within a few weeks." And then be honest about what's holding that back.
This is not to say that my (or your) approach and choices are wrong. Just that it's a good idea to spell them out, and then examine them.

For me, I would love to be remarried to a lovely godly woman. But I have my kids, my hobbies, and my dogs, and if things don't pan out, then I can be satisfied with what I've got.
So I make my choices, and I've got to be able to live with the consequences.

• I won't move from my city, or even my part of the city, and I won't give up my kids or dogs.
• My countrymen are infamous, for over 50 years, seeking __-brides from a particular country. That notion is so cliched that I won't even talk to a woman from that country.
• I'm not interested in becoming a full-time missionary, or anything similar.
• I get a lot of interest from women overseas who are in-part motivated by economic factors. I'm extremely reluctant to begin a correspondence with any of them.
• I have good friends who are constantly trying to set me up with a nice Catholic Lady from their culture. Not interested.
• I'm 6'3" and not exactly slender. So I shy away from petite women.
• I seem to attract a few ladies who are 65+, never married, live alone in the bush with just their Bible and 27 cats, and think Jesus talks to them via the native birdlife. Pass.
• I want to DO stuff with any future Mrs. So if our personal interests are completely disparate, then I figure that's not a good basis.
• I would say that I don't much care about politics. But if she does then it had better align.
• I have worked and saved hard all my life, to put a roof over our heads and provide my kids with a small inheritance. So I don't feel I can have a future with somebody that has had a fundamentally different outlook.
• I'm not yet ready to be with somebody who has retired. I'm just not there yet.
• I recognise the difficulties of my kids getting along with a new woman, and me with hers.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I see beauty in a person's spirit, and I've been struck by (what to me is) the incredible beauty of some people who wouldn't typically be rated on the normal worldly scale. Yet I still look for that spark, in the smile, in the eyes, in the way they speak, which I admit is still a judgement.
• I am extremely reluctant to even speak with potential single women at Church. Partly because I've been judged harshly before, and partly because I don't want to mess where I eat. So I stick to dating sites, and deliberately avoid people I recognise.

My POINT, is that I'm NOT doing "All I Can to Find Somebody."
Maybe all my rules above are perfectly legitimate, and maybe they're not.
My point is that I could find "somebody" if I relaxed them.

Given what people post about divorce, I'm legitimately curious about how you would judge mine?

NB: I'm not looking for absolution, nor am I trying to attract a wife with this post. And I specifically don't want to just spark pointless arguments from entrenched viewpoints. But I would like to see some considerate and thoughtful discussion, about how people interpret divorce.

I married young, we were both BASF and love the Lord passionately. We believed that having Christ in the centre of our marriage would make things plain sailing.
(My Dad wasn't saved, her parents were saved late in life, and most relatives I knew weren't either, so I regarded all marital problems as being caused by lack of Christ.)

Unfortunately I didn't see a lot of red-flags, that would have been apparent if we'd waited longer. She was a narcissist, had a personality disorder, could never forgive anybody, was a habitual liar, and nurtured lies until they became delusions.

I made a lot of mistakes, especially in the early years. Unfortunately none of those issues were ever actually resolved, because she couldn't forgive, or communicate, and she let things fester in full-blown delusions. (To this day, she refuses to talk to most of our kids, because of things they did 20 years ago.)

Within the first few years of our marriage, she was unfaithful and became pregnant to another man. She plotted to blame this unplanned pregnancy on me, and made my life hell over it for years, until it became glaringly obvious that he couldn't be my biological son. (Impossible blood type, looks nothing like me, completely wrong height. Later confirm secretly by DNA.)
I just said to her that we should get his blood retested because they must have filled the card out wrong at the hospital, and she let it drop after that.

He has always been my son, I love him completely, and nothing will ever get it the way of that.
I forgave her, completely really, and life went on.
We were married for almost 30 years.
But for a lot of that I suffered severe emotional and verbal abuse.

The breakdown came when our kid wanted to come home for Christmas (from where they lived and worked.) They asked me if they could stay with us (we had a folding sofa in an enclosed lounge room) and obviously I said yes. My wife had not forgiven them for a slite when they were a teenager.
She walked out on me and our two youngest, just before Christmas.

She told lies to as many of our friends and her family as she could. Accused me of being unfaithful, of using prostitutes, and claimed that I had kicked her out of the house. (All completely untrue.)

I remained open to reconciliation, and still carried a torch for a few years, but any communication always resulted in more lies and abuse. So eventually I filed for divorce.
I mostly did this because my kids were concerned about what would happen if I passed away, and she challenged my will.

Now to be clear, I did not divorce her for her adultery. I forgave that.

I didn't even really divorce her for "abandonment", even though that certainly occurred.

In our country, divorce is mutual no-fault, and legally that's what I did.

(NB: For the record, I have only ever, had sexual relations of any kind, with one person, her.)