Ex-Muslim who unexpectedly relates deeply to Jewish experiences
This is going to be an unusual post, but I would appreciate it if you took the time to read it, because I am trying to better understand myself, the world, and the perception of Jewish people throughout history.
To explain the title: I am a Pakistani living abroad who grew up in a religious family. I have not been a practicing Muslim for at least five years. Throughout my life, however, I have felt sympathy for the treatment of Jewish people throughout history because I have often felt that I, too, have been treated negatively simply for being different.
I understand that this is not something unique to the Jewish experience and that "being treated negatively" is not equivalent to the much harsher treatments throughout history that Jews have faced and dont want to make a direct equivalence. However, the perception that quite a lot of society today holds towards Jews when they are simply going about living there life is something that i can relate to .
After reading about the Holocaust, the expulsions of Jewish communities from different countries, and the attitudes of various societies and rulers toward Jews, the interest in the intellectual and scholarly traditions associated with Jewish communities and the emphasis on study, inquiry, and dedication to ideas and then compared these things with my own experiences, I found myself relating strongly to them.
I have often committed myself deeply to science, history, and philosophy, sometimes almost to the point of neglecting ordinary social life. In return, I have sometimes felt isolated or mistreated for that choice : for not participating heavily in social dynamics, for not playing what feels like the "game" of status and power, and for placing a high value on ideas and intellectual development ( I dont mean this in a condescending way toward people who choose different ways of living ) .
Because of this, I have felt a stronger sense of connection with aspects of Jewish culture and history than with many of the communities I have previously been a part of. That is why I am making this post: I want to understand whether this sense of connection makes sense and whether I am understanding these things correctly.
Many of the communities I have belonged to in the past, whether religious or non-religious, have often seemed to revolve around group identity and social hierarchies. The religious environments I experienced often felt tribal to me and frequently appeared centered around maintaining a shared identity, dividing people into ingroups and outgroups, and spending much of one's life either pursuing ordinary pleasures or discussing why those outside the group were misguided or worse off in some way. The non-religious spaces I later found myself in often felt different mainly in the principles they justified themselves with rather than in their underlying dynamics. Instead of appealing to religion, they tended to appeal to naturalistic ideas, personal experiences, or independently derived beliefs and values. Yet despite these differences in justification, I often felt that the same patterns remained underneath: competition for status, social positioning, and what felt like a continuing process of power consolidation. I realize that this may simply be a recurring feature of human social behavior rather than something unique to any particular community.
I recognize that these tendencies are likely part of human nature and would exist in Jewish communities as well. I do not assume any community is exempt from them. Rather, I wonder whether there are communities that place greater emphasis on open discussion, individual merit, and a more nuanced understanding of why people behave as they do, rather than simply treating those who are different as outsiders.