So as a divorced dad (late 50’s) on and off OLD for several months with limited success, I’m finding a recent trend somewhat confusing. FB (the app I’ve had the most success) shows me ladies based on filters I’ve applied - late 40’s to late 50’s - but the majority of likes I receive now are from women many years north of this. This wasn’t the case a few months ago.
Has anyone else experienced this?
So it happened… I met a lovely lady, 7 years my junior, on OLD several weeks ago and have been on a few dates since. Comfortable, easy, chemistry - exactly what you might hope for.
I have a child in college and another in high school, hers (2) were in high school and living with her full time (their father is not part of their lives). Normally I might not pursue someone in this situation - different points in our lives with different responsibilities - but hopeful and wanting to give things a chance, thought I’d take a flier and see where things go.
Even with her “no rules” / “taking things day-to-day” / “wanting to focus on herself” philosophy, the reality has come into focus - she’s already in a committed relationship where her kids are the center of her world. And I agree that is where her priorities should be - I’m not looking to upset that - but left me wondering where does that leave me / us.
I realize at our age some compromise is necessary for the better good. However, I’m not sure this experiment has changed my opinion on dating with school aged kids.
Do people have positive outcomes in these situations, or is it best to steer clear - even if it means swimming in a smaller dating pool / missing out on “the one”?
EDIT: For clarity’s sake, this is not a question about loving kids more or less than a potential partner - I love mine as much as any other parent would theirs. The hope is that when you make time for each other, which is easier said than done, one should be present in the moment, not constantly checking phones / time / worrying about what else is going on. I found myself wondering, when I was with her, if I asked her to stay the night or go away for a weekend, would she? Could she?
EDIT 2: Answered below but thought I’d add here…
Visitation for my teenager is every other weekend (and splitting holidays); her kids live in full time.