Anxious after recent encounter.
Hi everyone,
I’m in the UK and I’m feeling really anxious about a sexual encounter that happened last night. I’m looking for some advice or reassurance from people who have been through something similar.
Last night, around 10–11 pm, I had condomless anal sex with a woman. I was the insertive partner and ejaculated inside her. I’m circumcised.
I’ve known her for around a month, She told me that her previous male partners used condoms and that her last relationship was with a woman, which lasted around four and a half years. She said she hasn’t had an STI screen in years because she didn’t feel she needed one given her relationship history.
I have no reason to believe she has HIV, and she hasn’t told me anything that suggests she does. However, because she hasn’t been tested in years, I don’t know her current status. I realise that not having a recent test doesn’t mean someone has HIV, but my mind is racing with possibilities.
I’ve contacted NHS 111. The nurse called me back but wasn’t initially familiar with PEP, so after looking it up, she advised me to attend A&E for an urgent assessment.
It’s now Saturday evening, and I’m still at work. I’m planning to go to A&E as soon as I can. The encounter was approximately 20–21 hours ago, so I’m very conscious of the importance of getting assessed promptly.
My anxiety is honestly through the roof. I’m struggling with the uncertainty and keep thinking about worst-case scenarios. I understand that PEP is most effective when started as soon as possible, and I want to do everything I reasonably can to protect myself.
I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been in a similar situation, particularly those who sought PEP in the UK.
A few questions:
- Given that I was the insertive partner and am circumcised, how should I understand the risk?
- Has anyone in the UK been prescribed PEP after a similar encounter?
- What should I expect when I arrive at A&E?
- For those who have taken PEP, how did you manage the anxiety while waiting for follow-up testing?
I’m not looking for anyone to diagnose me or guarantee that everything will be fine. I think I just need some perspective from people who understand how stressful this uncertainty can be.
Thank you.
UPDATE: 11/10/26
I went to A&E last night and had an assessment, as awkward as it was I just said it… they started me on PEP. I took the first dose there with the doctor around 23:22 PM which I believe is 24-26 hours after the encounter approximately. I feel like shit, overwhelmed, scared and frustrated. Hospital took my blood too and advised me to go to sexual health clinic to test for other things. I’m waiting until tomorrow for clinics to open.