Is this Financial Abuse
TW (domestic abuse???)
Hello, I’m in a situation where since I got pregnant, I’ve had severe Gastro issues. I had hyperemesis while pregnant which then the symptoms continued PP. I still have the exact same HG sympnow so as a result, I’m unable to work. I’ve had no income since 8 weeks of pregnancy and my daughter is 13 months old now. So that’s the context before I get the wHy dOnT yOu gEt a jOb comments. But because he earns 100k a year (according to the tax agency) I don’t qualify for a disability pension.
My husband earns roughly 1500 a week. We have about $700 a week in car finance (yes I know it’s stupid, my husband decided he wanted to pay $500 a week for a new car that we now don’t use.) we have looked at selling both cars (mine is achievable) however my husbands car depreciated so bad that we would have to sell it for 15k less than the finance we have owing. Which we can’t really afford. He has a race car which is worth about 25k, but he refuses to sell it. So even if we sold both our cars, he would just drive the race car and I would have to find a really cheap beater to get around in. The rest of his pay packet idk where it goes. He says to other personal loans and credit cards (I don’t have any access to these so I have no idea where the rest is going) we pay $150 a week in rent to my mum (we live there, she also pays for our groceries, he says he can’t afford to help much with that either) So on with the story
I don’t get any form of allowance/income from him. I have to call/message him if I want money for literally anything. (Snacks, baby food, baby clothes, nappies, wipes, toiletries) you name it, I have to call. I can usually only get maximum $50 at a time, maximum 3 times a week, and that’s likely to be an argument. He says that he can’t afford to give me any more. My mum pays for my cars insurance and my specialist appointments because he says he can’t afford it. I’ve believed him for so long but things don’t seem to add up. He’s a mechanic and gets cash jobs usually a couple every week which is an extra roughly $300.
When I was working I was able to get buy now pay later accounts and now I can’t afford to pay them. I have debt collectors calling me every day and I just can’t pay them. They’re also calling me for our road tolls account which is connected to my name. His bank account is not connected. My phone data gets cut every month until he begrudgingly pays them but I’ll still get a lecture about how much it costs. My weekly petrol is about $50 (again all I can get from him, which will only fill my car up 3/4)
When I questioned him about it. He got really defensive and said I would just spend it all if I had access to it. He made up a spreadsheet of the bills and it worked out that he was in negative balance every month, which doesn’t seem right.
I don’t know. Wwyd in this situation? Is it financial abuse or can he literally not afford for me not to be on an income.