How the hell do I get my social life back
Hey everyone, hope all is well. I’m a guy with AuDHD, BPD, PTSD, and a shit load of other mental disorders.
I’ve been losing a lot of sleep by just watching my social life crumble in front of my eyes. Coworkers always giving each other weird faces after they were talking to me, in the sense they are just talking to me to get some dirt to talk behind my back, my friends excluding me from plans, and people just not wanting to talk to me in hobby spaces. Not to mention that a lot of friendships burned down in the past because I was just being myself. Talkative, being dumb and silly, cracking jokes. It just led to people calling me weird and too much, so I toned it down a bit to the point I’m just silent. Then whenever someone tries to have a convo with me, I give generic answers bc I’m afraid of looking weird again if I were to be entertaining.
I have tried getting to know people at my hobbies. Airsoft is one of them and I go with a friend but it hurts to see that people talk to him more since he’s smarter and extroverted. When I try to talk to those people, they just stare me down. It doesn’t help that I make a lot of wrong plays and people def see that so they think that I’m just a dumbass.
Just venting, would be nice to see if people have similar experiences of feeling left out or judged heavily. I just feel really isolated and it hurts