I am a charge nurse, I work long hours in the emergency room, ICU, and burn unit depending on where in the hospital I am needed during the year. My job is stressful, we lose patients from time to time, I see people on the worst day of their life far more frequently then any therapist would advise.

I have been seeing a therapist for a month or two now just to vent with stress, and he told me I need to do something for decompression before going from work to back home with my wife and kids, the negative stress of my work is not something I want to bring home. I spoke to my wife about my therapist advising me I should take an hour of so to decompress from work after every shift or as I feel is needed, and instead of support I got well to put it bluntly misandronistic belittling of my emotions and the stress I experience from you know watching people die on a weekly basis after my and my colleagues best efforts to save them. And told how I am just using stress from work and my needing to see a freak therapist about it as an excuse to not help with the kids, my children are eight all three of them, not toddlers, my wife is a homemakers has been since the kids were born, and she spends more time scrolling on instagram then she does cleaning the house or watching the kids.

i am an active father never missed a hockey game , I help the kids with their homework and I take them fishing every other Sunday on the weeks I am not working sundays. So I told my wife what I needed and she belittled me and did not support me at all emotionally so basically she acted like a bitchy high school mean girl rather than a spouse who loves and supports their partner. so I decided I needed a third space to decompress from work since My wife was not supportive at all of me following my therapists advice.

So I joined the men’s fencing club by the hospital where I work, I fenced in college, and they have like Xbox gaming rooms and pool tables and such it is nice but nothing to fancy. And iHave started going there after work for an hour to play pool, game, fence, and have a beer with some friends before heading home so I can decompress from the stress of my job. And my wife is pissed about this, my therapist thinks I should bring her in for a couples counseling session, and I just need a space I can decompress from work. I am stressed, having freaking nightmares, and I am just exhausted and my wife is offering not support what so ever just conflict, negativity, and she is just adding to my stress not reducing it or being an emotionally support what so ever about this.

I joined the male men’s club because it was the closets option so am I the asshole for joining this fencing club?

Edit: I am editing this to add some context. My wife goes to book club every Tuesday, I have the kids that evening every week. I work twelve hour shifts four days a week sometimes more depending if the hospital is short staffed or someone calls out sick. The comment I made about my wife scrolling on instagram all day is based off the fact I looked at the use metrics on her phone yesterday, she spends about six hours a day on instagram, and TikTok instagram is not exactly something you can play music on while you work or something it is an app that has you scrolling looking at other people’s photos….. six hours on average every, single, day…… That is why I wrote the bit of information. This post is as much a vent about the stress I am experiencing from this entire situation as it is me asking if I am the jerk in this situation.Fencing helps me decompress significatly since I joined the club, and I am going to look into doing the couple counseling thing with a different therapist other than my usual therapist on the advice of some in the comments thanks everyone in advance for the support and your advise in the comments section of this post