My lawn has brown spots in the middle though green in most areas closer to the sidewalk. I used cups to measure and the brown spots are getting just as much water as the green spots. I am in San Jose, CA zone 9b. Soil is clay so may be the soil penetration is bad? or maybe it's fungus? I have 90% Double Dwarf Tall Fescue, 10% Kentucky Bluegrass.
Our child is 5 years old and needs constant attention when she is at home. I have started leaving her alone but I see my wife engaged with her all the time on the weekend.
This is what a weekend day with no classes looks like - our daughter wakes up at around 8ish and my wife is her with her pretty much the entire day. Most of the morning is just getting her cleaned up and feeding her. By the time this is done it's almost 10am. Then starts 1-2 hours of teaching math, reading, writing, letters etc and my wife sits with her tutoring her. Then around 12 it's time to eat again and my wife and I spend the next 1-2 hours eating and feeding her. Now it's around 2pm and then she gets to watch TV for an hour which is pretty much the only time my wife is not in the same room as her. Then it's around 3-4 pm and it's play/drawing/coloring time and either my wife is playing with her or in the same room with her and telling her to play by herself but still assisting her with what she should play with or how to play "alone" (I don't think that this is really alone if my wife has to be in the same room). This goes on for 2-3 hours and now it's 6pm dinner time. Next hour goes in feeding her. Now it's 7pm and it's shower time. Next hour goes helping her shower, dressing her for bed, brushing teeth etc. Around 8.30pm I read her story books and she goes to bed by 9pm. Earlier my wife had to sing at least 5 songs for her and be in the bed until she falls asleep but thankfully that's improved and she is able to tuck her in and leave in 5 mins. I'd say 60% of the nights our child goes to sleep alone.
When she has swimming and art class it's usually around 10-11am so the morning 10-12 window goes to the class and the reading/studying shifts to the afternoon play time instead.
Bottom line my wife is either playing with her or at least in the same room majority of the time. My wife thinks that's independent play - I disagree. I think independent playtime is when a kid can be all alone in a room for an hour with no one else and not calling "mumma look at this".. "mumma i am bored what do I do". I think my wife "wants" some space from our daughter but also enjoys motherhood so much that she confuses between independent play time and reduced attention play time. Also, a little bit about my wife - she has no other hobbies or interests. She doesn't read, watch tv, or go out. She doesn't have any friends. She's a highly devoted doctor and mother and doesn't seem to want anything else in life. A lot of mothers would be burnt out by now but my wife is like an energizer bunny and she can go on and on without ever getting burnt out - she's a machine mother. The only thing she does for her own fun is play games on her phone when our daughter is sleeping and runs on the treadmill in the morning (she's been complaining about not being in the shape she wants to be for several years and finally decided it's time to prioritize running)
I have kind of started distancing myself and I spend majority of my weekend either by myself doom scrolling or working or fixing things around the house.
We have only 1 child and no other kids in the neighborhood of the same age. Once in a while we are able to arrange a playdate for her but then again my wife has to be with her at the play date home. We don't have much of a social life of our own and have only 2 couple friends (both guys went to college with me and now are married with kids and once every few months we invite each other over for dinner). Our social interactions are limited to no more than 1 dinner every 2-3 months.
I feel my life has come down to make money, do parental duties, sit in the other room and doom scroll if I want some space from our daughter, eat, watch tv, and go to sleep - repeat.
I feel like I am just going through life waiting to become old and die. Is this how a parental life is supposed to be? Maybe I am selfish and she's selfless?
This is my overgrown nectarine tree in zone 9b. I want to make it smaller. For size control, should I prune it in the next 1 month? Also, I am concerned that if I just trim every branch I will lose all fruiting wood. How do I avoid that? Any suggestions?
A little history: it gave close to 50lbs of fruit in 2021 and then barely anything next few years. It gave some fruit this year but most was clustered, small and oddly shaped. I should have thinned it but it felt like there weren't many fruits and if I removed all except one from every cluster I'd probably be left with less than 15 pcs.
I have read in multiple places to remove 2/3 of all new growth. If I do this year over year, wouldn't the tree keep getting bigger and bigger. How does one make sure the tree stays the same size year over year while not losing all new growth which is next years fruiting wood?
How do I prune these to encourage lower height and more lower branching? Goal is to keep them 10 feet or shorter. They've been in the ground for 3 years. I'm in San Jose California zone 9a
