u/Unlikely_Buy_2461

Hi guys. I'm feel bad that I keep updating this story but I'm not entirely sure what think or feel. My GF was discharged yesterday and she actually reached out to me after 5 days of her being in the hospital. She said that she knows we need to talk about everything but she wants to be in a good headspace before she does. She also said that her mom is coming down and maybe she'll be able to help process everything she wants to say. She asked if our mutual friend can come grab some more things for herself while she stays at their house over the weekend.

My reply was short but along the lines of thank you for reaching out, im glad your mom can give you the support you need and I wish nothing but a speedy recovery. She said thank you which I didn't initially reply too but she sent another text a couple of minutes after saying she loved me. It honestly made me cry so fucking hard and I told her that I loved her but that was the last message we sent each other.

Our mutual friend sent a text saying that they had a good talk and she said its seem that she isn't making any rash decisions and it made me feel hopefully. I'm still scared though. I left for work and I guess my BPSO came over, 30ish minutes before I got home to grab the items herself. She talked with my parents and started showing them pictures of us, videos and what not but she didn't say anything about breaking up. My parents told me that she wasn't herself but she did call our cat " my boy " still. I'm hurting still but there's some hope in me that we aren't breaking up. I'm giving her the space she needs and im letting her make the first communication step.

I'm unsure of what to think of things. I know they upped her dosage again while she was institutionalized as well.

Hello all, once again. Today I found out that my gf is getting out of the hospital either friday or Saturday. She told her friend to ask me to pack a bag for her. I'm rightfully assuming we're going to breaking up. She told her friend that we'll have a conversation at some point.

I'm devastated. I have tried my absolute best to be better. To better myself. I am so incredibly sad and lost. I was planning to spend my life with this girl. I haven't heard from her nor seen her since she was admitted. My heart is breaking.

I don't know what to do. Our lives are so intertwined. We have two cars, 3 cats, joint bank account, etc. I'm just so fucking lost. Our mutual friend is saying that there's a small possibility that we aren't breaking up but I can feel it in my gut. I feel ashamed to be so fixated on it when I know shes in the worst mental state but I just cannot stop thinking about it.

Hello all, this is my first time on reddit. I'm not entirely sure how to entirely go about this but I'm depressed and having a really difficult time. My gf(22)and I(26) have been together for 4 1/2 years. I've known she's had BP our entire relationship but a couple of days ago things took a drastic turn.

The original plan we had together was to save up money to move to another state, buy a house together and start a family. We moved out of our apartment to live with my parents to save up some extra money. Unfortunately, I lost my job on the 2nd of June due to some bullshit. So she has been the sole income (I live in a small town and its hard to find a solid serving job which we both prefer). I actually started one today, thankfully.

Anyways, in the month since I haven't had a job, things have been pretty weird between the two of us. She started a new medication called Limotragine(?) And they recently upped her dosage but I think she's been in a manic state for awhile. She's been really mean to me, pushing me away and all around just kind of treating me pretty badly recently. I'm not the greatest person at times, sometimes I can be really impatient and downright passive aggressive in things which definitely don't help.

We got into a fight about 2 weeks ago where we almost broke up. She said that I'm mean to her, impatient, i don't help her do anything and that she feels like I don't love her as much as I used too. She also told me that she wants to feel like i was obsessed with her again and she wants someone to take care of her and that i needed to be a man. There was some other hurtful things she said and I'll tap more into that if you guys ask.

Mind you, this has been a really rough time for me because losing my job really fucked me up a little so I've been down in the deep ends of my mind. I wasn't really helping around the house, being a little lazy, just bedrotting mostly. She hadn't been home much because she had a friend lose her ex bf to suicide, so in the first week of me losing my job, she wasn't around much. I didn't see her much or talk to her often. Then she was just out with friends and honestly I felt like she was avoiding me entirely.

I'm not the greatest at communicating my feelings sometimes but whenever I do, it always turns into us talking about what I need to be doing better, how I can help around more and what not. She's in charge of financials and paying bills, etc. I typically handle everything else. After we had that conversation though, I snapped out of my shit and started cleaning daily, making sure the laundry was done, bathroom was clean, essentially that everything was perfect so she could come home and just relax. I was bringing her a coffee everyday, making sure ive been extra sweet, caring and loving. It hasn't been the same on her side. Just kind of cold, distant and emotionless at times. There would be days where she was distant and cold, then some days she was really sweet and loving.

On Sunday, June 28th, she finally had made time to come home and we decided to go get some food. I took the opportunity to check in with how things are going between us, how I've been feeling about how she's been treating me etc. She started getting upset and immediately said that she didn't want to talk about it anymore which in turn, made me feel like shit for trying to talk about my feelings and needing reassurance. She said she wanted to talk about something other than me finding a job, my feelings or just in general anything that wasn't adding stress I guess you could say. I told her I was sorry and changed the subject. We left, went to a friend's house then drove home so she could get dressed for work. I had to leave so I could finish up some paperwork so I could start working my new job, she gave me a kiss and then I left.

2 minutes later she called me saying that I need to come back and get something out of her hair before she rips her hair out, i was a little confused and asked her what was going on and then she yelled at me to " fucking turn around before she rips her hair out ". I immediately turned around and ran inside. She was trying to do her hair all cute for work but I'm assuming it wasn't going how she wanted because she tried taking a hair tie out and she pulled it so tight that I practically had to cut it out of her. I finally got it out and i had asked what was wrong and she said " I can't even do my hair right. I can't do anything right ". I tried to give some reassurance and then she told me she had to go because she was going to be late. I asked her if she wanted a hug and she coldy told me no. I kind of just looked at her because it really hurt me and then I said okay, then I left.

I went over to a mutual friends house to kind of talk about things with them but about 15 minutes in I get a call from my old gm, ( we worked at the same restaurant ). She had told me she was sending my gf home because she came in crying and she can't have her out on the floor serving guests like that. The GM was asking her what was up and she had told my GM that things have been really financially fucked, that she felt like she was getting nowhere with the plans to move away. She had also told her that she's been really mean, cold and distant towards me lately and she doesn't know why. The GM asked if she was happy with how things have been lately, she said no. The GM asked her, then why not break up with him? She said she didnt want too. She also told her that whenever i ask if shes okay and what i can do to help it makes her not want to be around me. The GM then called me, told me everything that was said and she was headed where I was at(mutual friends house).

I told the mutual friend im going to leave so I can go do my paperwork and then probably go home but they asked me if I could pick up some pizza for them. I finished what I was doing then headed back over there and when I had got there, my gf didnt look at me, or talk to me. I waved at her and smiled and said hello and she coldly said hello back. This is in a room full of our friends and its never happened before. I ate a slice of pizza and decided to leave because my anxiety was going through the roof. I said bye to everyone and then she coldly said bye and I just kind of shutdown and left.

The mutual friend texted me and said that she's in a super dissociative state because they tried asking her what was wrong and she didn't answer and what not. She didnt talk or speak to them which is unusual. She then fell asleep for a couple of hours, then they went shopping and she barely said anything while she was out with them. Around midnight, I checked her location( we all have a circle in life360) and it looked like she was on her way home but then I noticed that was driving to abother little city, about 40ish minutes away. Sometimes she does that to decompress, no worries.

Then about another 30 minutes I checked again, and she was in the same spot. I called our mutual friend to try to text her and call to check up on her because I didnt think she wanted to talk to me. No answer. She tried calling her twice and texting her, nothing. I then tried calling her. No answer. 2 more times, no answer. Then I got worried. 2 of our mutual friends called the cops to do a wellness check and they headed out to where she was. They found her slumped over in her seat above a tunnel where many people jump off. She was conscious but not responding to anyone, just completely dissociative. They drove her to the hospital and I met them there. She wasnt responding to anyone and she didn't look at anyone. She moved her arm away when I tried to caress her arm and then I just backed off. They checked her in and she finally started talking a little bit but then she told our mutual friends that she didnt want to see me or talk to me which really was gut punch.

Its been about two days since she's been in there and I still havent heard anything from her, her self. Just bits and pieces from the friends that have gone to see her. Its breaking my heart and I feel like everything is my fault and im scared were going to break up. Ive been in contact with her mom who also has BP and told me that she doesn't think it had anything to do with me, that I shouldn't try to take it personal but its so fucking hard. Everyone has been telling me that I havent done anything wrong and try not to think that way but its so fucking hard.

Things like this have happened at least once a year where we almost break up but we don't and things are good until it happens again but this time its so fucking bad because she was admitted to the hospital. Her mom said just to be respectful of her boundaries and try not to take it personal. She said its the lack of control in her life right now and the only thing she truly has control over is the relationship I guess and thats why she's pushing me away.

I feel like my life and relationship are falling apart and everything is my fault. I don't want her to break up with me and im always trying to do better and be better. I'm scared, worried and confused. Some advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time and im sorry its such a long post. She hasn't been medicated very long and she recently started seeing a psychiatrist. Maybe a month or two. Please feel free to ask any questions and I'll be sure to answer them to the best of my abilities. Our mutual friend told me to read some of the stuff on reddit, to show that I'm kind of a victim in some regards.