I feel like I’m not protecting kids
I was molested from the ages of 9-12 by my brother who was 16 when it started and 19 when it ended. He definitely knew what he was doing was wrong. I never told my parents or anyone because I didn’t want it to come back on me. I was raised very conservative and very religious and I had already been told I was tempting boys at a young age (I think because I got boobs and a period young). I worked privately with a therapist when I was 19 through the trauma and I have a ptsd workbook that I do that I got when I was raped at 15. The only people that know about my molestation now is my therapist, fiance, and best friend. I have a relationship with my family still, including bother. But I keep him at a distance and only engage with him when I have to.
My brother has 2 kids. They’re younger than I was when it all started and I’m watching for signs of abuse in them but I feel like I’m not doing enough. I never reported it, and I’m terrified to since it would likely implode my family. There’s no statute of limitations for sexual assault and abuse in my country so I easily still could report it but it would turn into a she said he said scenario.
What do I do?? Am I failing my nieces by not reporting this? Should I report it? I don’t want my name dragged through the mud and get even more labels on me. I know I shouldn’t care anymore about the judgement since I’m grown ass adult but I don’t want the messages from people I used to know saying awful things to me, or family, or friends or my brothers friends reaching out upset with me. My brother was creepy to my friends too growing up but no body was assaulted besides me. I don’t know if I’ll be his only victim, I hope I am, but I don’t want to break up a family either if my brother has truly changed. I’m not close with his wife so it’s not like I can even approach and speak privately with her.