r/Molested

I’m hoping someone can help me (27F) understand if I might have suffered sexual assault and not remember it:

I started orgasming by pressing my thighs together at around 5 years old
There was a girl in my class and we were bffs at that age and we’d come over to each others houses really often and she would always suggest we play “doctor”. She would touch my genitals and ask that I touch hers.
Idk if it’s bc of this girl and the doctor play but I became very curious about genitals/naked people
I used to draw naked people in my diary from age 5 also
I was quite curious about genitals from really early on - I had a boy neighbour who I asked if we could shower together to his nanny and the nanny said “I don’t think so” and I said “but we’re kids!”, I remember thinking I knew it was wrong but I wanted to see his genitals
This boy and I would be left to play alone and once in my room I said “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” and we did.
I once slept at my parents bedroom and I remember in the middle of the night I removed all my clothes for some reason. When I woke up, my mum and dad sounded very concerned asking why I was naked and asking it a million times
I also used to orgasm in class by pressing thighs at that age
At age 9 I saw my sister touching my dad’s dick with him laying down in bed. He used to ask us if we wanted to see his dick bc it’s circumcised so for biology class purposes. To this day I’m unsure if he’s autistic or if that was assault.
At 11 I started watching porn bc I stumbled upon it and became obsessed with porn that was pretty much rape fantasy - or that involved really young looking girls
At 14 I caught my mum watching porn and masturbating
At 14 I found my mums sex videos
At 15 I found a photo album my mum had with her boyfriend
At 15 I caught my dad and his wife having sex
At 16 my mum told me she got a dildo as a bday present from a friend of hers

I have ADHD and derealisation. This is due to narcissistic mum abuse but I wonder if it could be bc of anything else that I’ve deleted from my mind?

I consider myself hyper sexual - if i work from home, I masturbate like 6 times a day and it’s disruptive to my work and life and mental health. Is it just the ADHD looking for dopamine or could there be something more? I still have non-consent fantasies

When I (m) was around 7 my mom had a friend (also m) that was single and didn't have kids. He would ask my mom if he could take me on some weekends and she agreed that I could go. My dad really wasn't in the picture and she thought it was a good idea for me to have a positive male influence in my life.

When we would get to his house, he would have me change into girls clothes and tell me that while I am there, I am his girlfriend. At first I hated it. Over time I looked forward to going. I looked forward to putting on the clothes. I always wanted to please him. This went on for about 3 years, with me going to his house or cabin once or twice a month. I am 53 years old now and I miss that feeling. I know everything about this was wrong, but I truly miss it. Thank you for reading.

26 m here When i was about 10 to 11 I was being molested by my baseball coach he would touch me in a way that made me extremely uncomfortable I had finally had enough one day when i was standing around one day after a game and I got grabbed from behind and he grabbed my crotch and held me a few seconds before letting me go and playing it off like he was just messing around, i finally told my mom what had been happening and she told me it wasn't a big deal and it was just part of the culture so basically nothing happened and i just kept taking it for a while and at the time was also being physically and verbally abused by my dad at home at some point after a few months passed and I just quit playing baseball and never played since

It was a really awful year for me it was the first time i thought about killing myself and haven't really been able to shake it. I figured i would be able to get over this already but since December ive thought about killing myself pretty often I dunno i just feel awful I feel gross and damaged and like its never going to go away because it probably won't

I was molested by my half brother and his friends when I was younger for a period of my life. I remember extremely vividly. I remember telling my mom. I remember her saying “oh my god we cannot let your dad find out” and that was the end of it. My nana questioned my UTIS and I remember my mom using bubble baths as the excuse and i am just now realizing it was never the bubble baths and she was lying. Fast forward to having kids myself. I have always struggled with nightmares throughout my life but having kids REALLY brought this trauma out. I struggled letting my sons have a relationship with my daughter terrified of it happening to her. It’s really made me realize how much my mom hasn’t cared about me through life and continued to fail me as an adult. I just couldn’t imagine ignoring my daughter and going on with life. I’ve recently cut them out of my life because they absolutely disgust me and I refuse to continue sitting in a room with her and and my half brother like I have my whole life like nothing happened. I’m just really struggling with my dad. My parents are still married. He loves me so much I’m his only blood child. Always been there for me. He’s been the most amazing dad to me throughout my life and I have nothing bad to say about him. I know it’s killing him not having a relationship with my kids as well as my papa his dad. I’m thinking about sitting down with my dad and papa and just letting it all out so they see that’s it’s not just me being a brat towards my mom. I’m genuinely traumatized and hate her. This will completely ruin our family dynamic.

I'm an adult now. I was 13 when my mom's exbf moved in. He was a prevert. I was a normal straight boy at the time, but he got to do everything over time. I never told mom. I want to vent about it to someone.

We had a big family and the adults would just send us off to play. When there was a family reunion, we were staying in a hotel. My older cousins(F) made me(F) go to the pool with them to "play" in the water all afternoon. They took advantage of the fact that we were all in bathing suits :/ They told everyone else I was tired and took me back to the hotel room. I missed dinner and somehow they convinced everyone I wasn't feeling well and that they'd care for me in a room their selves that night. They babysat regularly so the adults were just glad someone was watching me.

I was so scared of them I just froze up. They told me if I snitched on them they would lie and say I approached them and like it. I was young so I was just scared, they put their hands over my mouth. We were apostolic pentacostal and being queer was seen as a huge sin. We only wore skirts, long hair. I played basketball for fun, wanted to be like Goku, wore braids for practical reasons, and had dark skin. My presentation of gender was not their version of femininity. I tried to keep my face blank, but they made fun of every sound or expression I made. Tease me about the faces, with others around, without anyone else realizing. So if I told on them, I thought I'd be made out to seem in the wrong.

It went on for so long, I used to wonder how no one knew. As an adult, I learned money was being exchanged by others for access to me. It makes me feel bitter to realize how I was trafficked by my family.

Okay so for context, when I was a kid this lady that used to take of me had two daughters who were my best friends. Apart from those two girls she had 6 other kids, most of them being boys.
One night i was sleeping at her house , i was prob about 7-8. I was in that hald awake half asleep state when one of her sons who has at least 13-14 at the time walked in and lates down next to me and out his hands inside my pants and started touching me, i locked him away and he then wrapped his lega around me, i had to kick him twice more before he stoped, or at least i think he did i don’t really remember bcs it sort of all went dark, I might have fallen asleep. I told his family and my mom but got called a liar by him and his family and told i would be going to hell because i was a liar. Unfortunately i was still allowed to keep going to their house and them to ours (not ling after I also ended up finding What was basically a live letter from him in my bathroom and he also have me a strawberry shortcake toy one time, all very random and extremely weird) And this has affected me a lot in a way throughout the years.
Anyway, just yesterday my mom gave me the news that he died and i can’t help but feel slightly glad and happy. All while feeling extremely guilty and disgusted that i feel glad someone has died.
Am i bad person for thinking like this??

Our 6 year old exposed himself to a child a few months ago. We explained to him about inappropriate behavior and thought that would be it. Then he tried to play a game of "changing diapers" with another child, we talked with him again and really tried to make him understand that it wasn't right, we though it was just child curiosity..

Well last night at a play date he lured a child upstairs alone, pinned him down, pulled his pants down and touched him inappropriately. We are devastated for them and also for him. We have a CSA specialist we are going to contact come monday and get him the help he needs from professionals.

My question is...what do we do with him now? Obviously he is not longer allowed to be alone with any other child. But what do we do with him, send him to his room? We talked to him and he told us what happened which matched with what we were told. Do we go about life like normal after that? Should he be punished? Should we have another conversation and let him out with the kids again? We are at a loss of how to actually deal with him aside from getting him help.. but in the direct aftermath in our home what do you do with this ?? We have smaller children in the house and I am so so so worried he touched them.

F33 here. I struggled with sex addiction from my adolescence onwards. I did a lot of work in college and managed to become a "normal" member of society. Got married and other than needing to masturbate more than most, I was normal. This all changed when I was 28. I got raped during a work after party by my husband's coworker. My husband was out of town. The act was life changing in so many ways, the main one being the complete triggering of my sex addiction. Over a decade of work completely destroyed. I felt my body betrayed me in so many ways and I'm no longer the wife I was. I love my husband dearly yet I cheat on him. My sex addiction is the worst it's been and it all stems from that night.

Many days, I feel stable. I think I've made peace with my addiction and with the new "me", but there are days when I look back and I remember that I'd be normal and a good wife if it wasn't for that night. If that hadn't happened to me, I'd still be okay.

It’s weird how as an adult, whenever I visit my family at reunions and events (like Christmas or various family celebrations), the dynamics are sooo so different from what it was when I was a child. Everyone is so polite to each other and smiling and pretending that nothing ever happened, like all the violence and all the yelling it’s gone, like all of the abuses that happened jnvolving many (if not most) family members of the extended family never happened, like everyone can act so nicely to each other for a day or two, like nothing ever tormented us to extremes.

It just makes me feel so crazy all the time, like I seem the only one carrying all the trauma of all the violence happening in those houses, like everyone could so easily move on and forget and forgive and I just can’t yet. Makes me feel so invalidated and makes me wonder every time if maybe I remember it all wrong and just overdramatized it all

-My heart breaks for all of my fellow victims here. I wish I could give you all a great big hug ♥️-

Looking through this sub has been very triggering- I'm probably going to avoid the subject for a while, but I still feel like I want to get my story out there.

I've only told my story to a handful of people in my life. I guess this is just me venting.

I was molested by my maternal grandfather from the ages of 3-11 (technically- he stopped doing some things when I was younger, but didn't stop all groping or inappropriate touching until I was 11).

My mom and dad were pretty neglectful and distant towards me in certain ways when I was little. They were both struggling with major depression, pstd, and marital issues, so I remember spending a lot of time by myself, and was told I talked too much or that they didn't have time for me. The only person I felt like actually cared about me was my grandpa. He listened when I would talk, encouraged me, told me I was talented, smart, and pretty, would buy me toys, art supplies, etc.

My family acted like I was some vixen who had him wrapped around my little finger and would almost act like he was MY victim (I was pretty bossy, but he was the only person who let me be bossy).

They always told me how I was his favorite (in a bad way).

My brother and I would spend a lot of weekends sleeping over at my grandparent's house, and I always liked going, but that's also when I would get molested. Me, my brother, and my grandpa would all sleep on the pullout mattress, me being in the middle and he would molest me right next to my sleeping brother. I remember I would sometimes stare at my brother, wishing he would wake up because then my grandpa would stop.

I always had such conflicting feelings. I felt disgusted by what he did to me, but I also loved him and didn't fully understand what he was doing or why.

He stopped touching me at around 11, and he started being very mean to me, a total personality 180. One time he made a comment that no man would want me because I left a few pieces of silverware in the sink after doing dishes (a very normal thing to say to an 11 year old).

Around this time my parents lost our house and we were forced to move in with my grandparents.

A few months after moving in with them, my memories that I had been pushing down resurfaced.

All of my love for him fully disappeared after I realized. When I fully realized what he had done to me and how his love, gifts, and kindness were grooming tactics, it made me feel so cheap. Like I was a hooker who kept going back to him despite hating what he did to me.

I told my mom and she was horrified, but she also has said some pretty victim-blaming things like "Well you loved him so much, so what could I have done to prevent it? If I tried to stop you from sleeping over at their house you would have thrown a fit." Etc.

We ended up living with my grandparents until their deaths. It was so incredibly painful having to live with him for that time- 8 years in total. It really was a nightmare having to live with him, having to remember what he did to me and be in the same space as him. I feel like in many ways my life didn't begin until his death.

I later found out that when my mom was a young adult before having any kids, my grandpa (her father) wrote her a letter with very sexual things in it. She won't go into specifics, but when I found that out I lost a lot of respect for her; the fact that she would let him spend time alone with her children despite knowing he's a pervert??

My abuse has left me having a very complicated relationship with sex and men. I was very sex averse until I was in my late teens, and even now I would still consider a lot of sexual things gross (but I am not asexual). I imagine this will make it very difficult getting into a relationship someday- it will probably take me a really long time to feel comfortable enough with a person to want to have sex with them.

And I find it really difficult talking to men I find attractive- like they make me very uncomfortable and I can hardly even make eye contact with them.

I'm now 24, and to this day the only sexual relationship I have ever had was with my grandpa. What a disgusting sentence.

So it was my maternal grandfather. Ever since I was a kid whenever we (me, my sis and my mom) visited them he used to put his hand over my pants to 'feel' it and say things like "do you have one?", "let me see it just once". Even at the time I used to feel uncomfortable and try to pull away from him but he would grab me and try to do that again. There was one time that I got so fed up of him trying to do that shit that, as a kid, when he asked me to 'show' him, I straight up said to his face "no, those are my private parts", But guess what he did, he laughed at me. From that time he used to mock me by repeating those exact words, like show me your "private parts" while still trying to do the same shit.

I am disgusted and pissed at that man but more so on my mother. Bcoz he didn't do these things privately or behind closed doors when no one is watching. He did this in broad daylight, infront of everyone, including my own mother. If it happened once or twice, maybe she could've had the excuse of not noticing it but it happened LITERALLY every time we went to his house.... I'm mad and just confused, why didn't she say anything?? Why didn't she take a stand for me? At the time I just used to think he was being playful and teasing me, like how in some places adults lightly hit on children's buttocks, like thats not molesting or smth. But this? She saw it, many times but never had the nerves to say smth abt it..

Maybe its my own fault for not telling this to anyone at the time, I wish I could've one something about it. Now, he's old and bedridden so not much of a use to confront him about it..

I had a bout of depression and flashbacks recently. The good news is that I’m not depressed anymore, the bad news is now I’m in a really crazy hyper sexual space and doing things I’ll regret later.

Due to trauma I could never where crotchless panties, but I went and did it now that I'm an adult and I feel so much more powerful.

hi. just really need some advice.. i hope my problem is not a cringe for this subreddit or something. im just kinda lost.

I've been dating a guy for a year now. I'm 16 and he's 17. I've never been interested in sex, it didn't concern me at all. But my boyfriend constantly tried to undress me, touch me, sent me 18+ videos and begged for sex. By the way, we are different. He is handsome, probably too handsome, very smart. And I'm stupid and ugly. Objectively.

Recently, such a moment happened that I don't even like to describe... It, I think, left me traumatized for all my life.

I don't know if I can leave him. Exactly leave. I never liked our meetings. He is too tactile and often hints that I am overweight. And everything in his head is about sex. As I write this, deep down I feel very uncomfortable and scared, I don't know what to do. Block him? We live close by... I really don't want to write anything. Ignoring him won't work, he writes to my mom when I ignore him.

Something I (38M) have found to be the biggest struggle for me after what had happened is the residual hypersexuality and the kinks. For some small context, I was molested from age 6-11, by my friend’s mom, I won’t get into any of that now though. It’s such a struggle that from an early age I was thinking about sex and wanting it, and it’s never changed or got easier for me. I still constantly think about sex, I can’t help picturing people naked, or getting flashes of my past. The darker thoughts are the worst though, cause they are consuming, and even though I do what I can to distract and shake it off when I get those thoughts, they still happen frequently, and I hate to admit that I get aroused most times when I think about it.

I long to be normal, but I know that this is my life, I need to do what I can to deal with it all. When things get really bad I find people to role play things with, and being able to live out things in my head seems to quell any bad thoughts, but as you all probably know, these feelings come in waves, and when it hits, it hits hard…

I don’t know. How do any of you deal with those feelings when it’s bad for you? The role playing seems to work decently, but sometimes I don’t want to spend time doing that, I just want to do one of my other hobbies or work, but my mind is just unable to focus. Just looking for a little bit of suggestions and insight.

I was molested consistently for several years by my moms long term boyfriend turned my step father. I don’t have many memories before the age of about 8 but I’m led to believe that it may have started younger than I am even aware of. I as a kid could not hold my Blatter for long and still can’t it still affects me I would have accidents semi frequently as well as being terrified my entire life of sleeping alone. All that aside he was abusive to my mother physically and she claims she had no idea it was going on but large part of me feels like she had to have known. Even if she didn’t I begged her not to marry him and she did. I voiced how he was weird and made me uncomfortable constantly he would always try to hug and basically be on top of me especially if I was cooking or doing dishes he would get up behind me and breath down my neck. Eventually a girl he had assaulted years ago made a report and he was arrested which led to me finally telling my mom about the years long abuse I endured. I was made to make a statement/ report and testify at a trial and he was sent to prison 100+years/until he dies. I know that there were more victims than me all minors when the abuse started some adults now to my knowledge but not sure exactly and I can’t help but think about everything but especially the fact that my not coming forward could be the reason another girl younger than me was abused I don’t know for sure but I’ve heard murmurs and it’s been eating away at me. everything has been truthfully and when the rest of my family found out about the abuse the response was well we kind of knew but you always said you were fine and I feel like I was let down by all the adults who were supposed to protect me. And now I’m officially an adult and feel like I somehow didn’t protect that girl overall I have been feeling incredibly angry and resentful
I don’t really know why I came here I just feel so incredibly alone with this has anyone been through a similar situation?

My older cousins touched me(F) from ages 2-11, and they told me it was a game. When I wanted to stop eventually they blackmailed me :/ I still talk to them sometimes, that time period is just glossed over.

When I was 4 years old my cousin started molesting me. I'm a male and he was a male. He was always my best friend, but he was being molested, so he did the things to me that were being done to him. So it kind of caused me to have a little bit of a messed up idea of sex. I've learned that now I don't really need sex. But it still makes me feel like I'm a weird person. I developed physically at a very young age, and even though I've seen pornos and stuff like that where there are guys that are really huge, I'm not that big, but I've only ever in my whole life met one guy who was bigger than I was. I was basically fully developed by the time I was in second grade, and another one of the boys in my class saw me when we were using the bathroom next to each other. That was the first time I realized that I was a little bit different. Men would see that I was a little bigger, and they would come on to me in bathrooms and locker rooms and places like that. On multiple occasions in locker rooms I would go and take a shower and men would get in the shower with me and have sex with me. This one guy, I did think he was attractive, but I never asked him to do anything like that. He came into my shower and just put me in him, he got off, and then he just walked out. It was very uncomfortable for me. Has anybody else had experiences like that?

I know a person who under a sexual impulse thoughed her little sister in the tight. The girl don't even remember, but that's so gross!

She says she regrets so much and never wants to do anything like that again, but do you believe people like her ever deserve to repent and get better?