First day and already treated like I can’t be trusted
I started a new job today with a 7 month old, and I’m already questioning whether it’s a good fit.
During the interview, they said I couldn’t use my phone except for emergencies. I took that to mean no scrolling or being distracted while actively caring for the baby, which is completely reasonable.
Today, while the baby was asleep in the pack and play, I briefly checked my phone to see if my mom had texted me, then went back to washing dishes. DB immediately told me I can’t look at my phone at all unless it’s an emergency because checking it could “lead to” me staying on it longer. Which confused me because how am I supposed to know if something is an emergency if I can’t check my phone? 😂
Later, I brought it up again because I genuinely thought I had misunderstood. I asked if I could check a quick text during naps, make an appointment, or listen to a podcast while doing laundry. Basically, no. He said they could give me a one hour lunch break and I could use my phone then.
DB also said I might not hear the baby wake up and mentioned a time grandma didn’t notice immediately. The baby is 7 months old and was in a pack and play right next to the kitchen. Personally, I don’t think a content baby needs to be picked up the second she opens her eyes, but I understand they may feel differently.
The phone thing is bothering me because it feels like part of a bigger issue. DB works from home and stayed in the living room with us for basically my entire 6 hour shift, so I never really got the chance to build my own rhythm with the baby. They also don’t want me taking her on walks or outings alone yet. DB said he would come with us. I was initially fine with that since she’s their first baby, but combined with everything else, I’m starting to feel overly monitored.
They called my references and hired me, so being told I basically can’t be trusted to glance at a text because I might get distracted rubbed me the wrong way. I’m an adult and I know how to put my phone down and do my job.
I understand being nervous as first time parents, but I’m wondering if they’re just not ready to have a nanny working independently yet.
We also didn’t do a trial day, which I now realize I’ll probably require going forward.
Would you give it more time, or take the first day as a sign that this probably isn’t a good fit?