Is this the reality of God and maha-gurus/saints?
Hello, I'm a newbie sadhak who has recently learnt how to control thought-streams in the mind & meditate properly on a mantra or absolute nothingness. I do Bhairav naam japa followed by a few minutes of deep meditation. This practice has taught me to surrender myself and open my brain as an outflowing stream of thoughts without owning/judging.
But while surrendering my mind to nothingness, many times I come across ideas/thoughts that I doubt aren't mine. It feels like knowledge flowing in, in the form of ideas that are a bit too intellectual compared to my intellect. Is this normal, or are these my own ideas/thoughts?
I recently saw a short film on YouTube, it's the most unique piece of content I have ever watched in my life. You can watch it here (not promoting): [https://youtu.be/IjL3NWwRqqc?si=zjqM2iisxvHbs54O\](https://youtu.be/IjL3NWwRqqc?si=zjqM2iisxvHbs54O)
The next day after watching this film, after dinner, when I was doing my usual chores, I came across some ideas that I need to share and get some expert insights on,
The short film states:
\- Intense fear & misery leads the path to God
\- They depict God as a neurological setback in the human brain.
Their main idea is that when an individual feels their life is threatened in the worst possible way, they see God. The prophets and spiritual organizations (churches in the film) keep reminding people of their problems, which drives them closer to God.
I have read and heard many instances where people faint out of fear or get a fever for days after encountering a devta darshan. Isn't it somewhat similar to what this film is trying to say? Is the fear installed in us humans by the deity so that we can tap into their wavelength and see them?
Now my thought (I'm not sure how correct this is, it just popped into my mind):
There are two types of gurus:
who offers themselves as the medium to reach God (like Mahaavtar Babaji, Sai Baba, etc.) and hence when people worship them they are actually worshipping the highest power itself. (I have also read about the time when Shri Ramakrishna Paramahansa was photographed while in a trance, and then he himself used to offer flowers to his own image as an offering to the higher energy he was connected to during the trance)
The gurus who try to misuse this path of misery (as in short-film), leading people towards God, but they try to use misery for self-gain. Now I have had some personal experiences where a person with psychic powers has misled me and put me into miseries that maybe I wasn't supposed to undergo. He used to discourage worshiping gurus like Sai Baba and used to attempt to influence people with their psychic powers. This person also did some kind of tricks on my family and influenced me to stop Bhairav naam japa. I have started it again to seek Bhairav baba's blessings and protection from negative energies.
Are the above thoughts valid in real spirituality, or am I just thinking a bit too much unknowingly?