AITAH for not cleaning up after my brother and sister in law?
I (M 22) live with my brother (M 30) and his wife (F 29). I’ve been living with them for about a year now (i pay $200 in rent a month) and honestly hasn’t been the most pleasant experience.
they rarely ever clean up after themselves in the shared living space (the kitchen, the living room). the dishes in the sink is usually a week or two weeks old with remnants of rotten spoiled food on them — especially with cups, they have chunks in them and smell of vomit from it fermenting in them. i then have wash and put away the dishes so we can have plates and cups to use, or so that i can use some of their pans to cook my own meal — AND so that we dont have ANOTHER fruit fly infestation.
i rarely ever use their dishes, majority of the time i just use paper plates and one frying pan when eating and making food because of this, especially since theres still food engraved into some of them even after going through the dishwasher. they don’t even put away the clean dishes half the time either or even start up the dishwasher when they’re dirty, they just sit there while more dishes pile up in the sink so i end up doing it myself.
not only that though is the stove whenever they cook food is always dirty, with the messy pan also still on the stove. i won’t lie and say i havent left a dirty pan on the stove, because i have but only when theres literally no space in the sink or dishwasher — and whenever i do cook the entire stove isnt a mess.
they don’t ever clean unless someone is coming over or if they’re cooking food again.
also majority of the time the trash is full and overloading with their stuff. i won’t lie again and say i don’t throw things away, but when i do its mostly just paper towels from washing my hands.
they have a dog (husky, 3yo, F) who always does something when theyre not looking or when theyre gone. shes a real pain in the ass honestly, and always goes potty in the house whenever theyre not looking. my brother, whenever hes home rarely takes her out if hes gaming in his game room. so, whenever i walk out of my room, guess who has to pick up after his dog?
this has been a frequent occurrence also, they don’t pay attention to their dog and i ultimately have to clean up after her because im the one to see it. shes not even my dog, its his — he doesn’t properly care for her. he rarely ever plays with her, walks her, or give her any sort of stimulation. this is also a dog that he himself wanted. whenever he gets mad at her he does sometimes gets physical with her instead of just reprimanding and putting her in the crate. both my brother and sis-in-law are busy people so they rarely had time to train her, and now that they have a baby, even more so now than ever, which is why shes the way she is. shes stubborn and doesn’t learn, even with being 3.
they used to crate her before leaving for work but alot recently theyve been keeping her out because they want to allow her to roam around — but they dont tell me that they let her out, so as soon as i wake up i walk out to a pile of shit or pee that i dont have time to clean up because i need to get ready for work.
the other day this happened before i needed to leave, so i crated her up and left paper towels over the puddle to which my brother had to clean up when he came home from work.
ANYWAYS, this all led to my brother chewing me out the other day. he was mad at me for not picking up his dog’s pee properly as he had to “scrub inbetween the tiles to get rid of the urine stains” which mind you, he didnt clean the grout — i did. i used a grout cleaning bottle that he had and let the tiles soak in it for like 5 minutes until the yellow stains disappeared and then mopped it up. he said that i rarely do the dishes and never put out the trash when its full. he also got mad at me for not bringing the trash cans to the side of the road and or back behind the house — and when i said “You didn’t tell me you wanted me to do that.” he said that it was common sense to be doing that and to not get argumentative.
so what do you guys think, am i the asshole?
EDIT: i am moving back in with my parents next week. i don’t have or make enough money due to student loans and car payment so for financial reasons i unfortunately can’t live on my own for now.