u/Valeriesaboyname

Because he has a habit of biting my toes (only my toes, by the way, my wife gets to have her toes, only I am not allowed to have toes), I don't let my cat in the bedroom when I'm going to bed.

Naturally, this means he very much wants to be in the bedroom.

Now, for a tiny 8-pound cat, he has a hell of a motor, and on top of that, I have 100+ year-old hardwood floors from trees denser than what's around today. Stuff's basically concrete at this point.

Every once in a while, I will scan the room, not see the cat, and close the door. If he is hiding somewhere in the room, he will at this point start purring extremely loudly completely giving away whatever he's hidden under/behind. The floors amplify it, but I think it's funny if he forever thinks we can't hear purring, so I always let him get away with it (until he bites my toes five minutes later).

I was a very impatient child. I was quite autistic and very prone to meltdowns. The smallest break from "My Plan" to "Be The Best" would send me into a full blown panic.

But I'm now a very patient adult. I work at a public library, and the computers we use are old enough to be in middle school, and the intranet wasn't built to handle as much traffic as it now gets. They're very slow and prone to breaking down which can cause both workers and patrons to panic.

However, whenever a patron is getting upset that their printing job takes 2 minutes to send, I go over and pat the top of the monitor and say, "it's okay, computer. You go when you feel like it." And it instantly defuses the anxiety 99/100 times.

I did it at McDonald's too. If a customer was getting antsy, I'd look down the cook line and say, "That's okay, Burger. You grow up when you want to."

This is because when I was around 7—9, an episode of SpongeBob came out about racing snails. Spongebob went absolutely nuts 200% effort training his snail Gary, and Patrick entered a rock.

I watched how miserable Spongebob was making not only Gary but himself as well, how Spongebob made himself panic when Gary fell behind Squidward's snail, and how that panic made Gary perform way worse.

Patrick, despite being in last place the entire time (because he entered a rock), was having the best time. Whenever the other two snails were close to finish, he leaned down, patted the rock, and said, "that's okay, Rocky. You go when you feel like it."

And little me just went, "wait, I'm making myself freak out whenever the bus is late or I don't know the answer to a math question right away. I literally don't need to do that. Nothing better can happen if I spiral. I can just chill out."

So I do chill out and have been chilling out for over 20 years

I work in a library so I already have pretty much endless access to trad publiahed books, but I'm a weirdo who likes the crazy unmarketable indie stuff. KU is great for this, but it's also Big and sometimes I don't want to give amazon an extra $15 a month, yknow?

Well, I'm part of the Amazon Vine program, where Amazon will send you random plastic garbage for free in return for a review, and I've always lamented that there's never books on there. I'd love books instead of plastic garbage! I hate the plastic garbage (do not ask why I continue to request the plastic garbage i do not know).

I was aware of ARCs considering I work at a place that regularly recieves them but for some reason just went "those are cool. Too bad they don't exist for me specifically."

Well, I made a booksprout account and have now read 3 weird indie romance books in one week for free AND I can feel good about getting people with like no reviews a review.

I also made a netgalley account but that website feels like I'm using livejournal in 2007 for some reason and it turns out modern me no longer has the patience for 2007 livejournal.

Edit: and if someone knows an ARC site with more LGBT content, let me know! Booksprout has no shortage of romance, but it only has like a dozen LGBT books out at a time, feels like

I was reading {tis the season for revenge}, and in the epilogue, the defense law firm owner MMC announces his company will no longer represent someone accused of a crime because defending crime is unethical, and I burst out laughing. Good book and a fun read, by the way, partly because of how much the author doesn't seem to understand what a court is but is vibing her way through writing one.

I want to know what other silly things like this you've seen that made you endured