r/sillyconfession

This is going to be short. I had to share my awkward story to the people who would get it.

My bathroom sink was leaking, a plumber of the building came to fix it. He didn't bring much in the way of tools just a couple of things, it was a quick job - the seal was cracked or something like that. ANYWHOOO guy asked if I had anything he can use to pry something apart, like a knife. In my head I'm like "I have something specifically for this purpose" so I say out loud "oh yeah - I got a shit knife you can use" - I pause. He pauses. We stare at each other for what felt like eternity then I sheepishly hand him my crappy butter knife. I couldn't tell if he was even aware of my blunder or just thought I was a weirdo. Either way, I will be overthinking this interaction for the rest of my life.
For the record, this knife isn't used for cutting up monster turds, it's a busted butter knife I keep around for opening boxes, paint cans etc. so I don't ruin my actual tools.

TL:DR
I called my broken butter knife a shit knife, and no one gets it but reddit.

The “wrong” group chat ( Here OP= my name) I accidentally got added to a group chat with about 20 people I didn’t know.

I figured someone had typed the wrong number, so I ignored it.

Then one person said, “Okay, everyone agreed, we’re doing it tomorrow.”

Another person replied, “What about OP?”

Someone else: “OP doesn’t know yet.”

At this point I was obviously curious, but I didn’t want to be weird, so I just watched.

They started discussing times, locations, what everyone needed to bring, and who was driving.

Finally someone sent: “Should we tell OP now or just surprise them?”

I panicked and typed, “Uh… hi. I think I’m OP?”

The chat went completely silent.

About two minutes later, someone replied:

“OH MY GOD. WRONG OP.”

Then they removed me.

I still have absolutely no idea what they were planning, and honestly, I’m not sure I want to know.

The weirdest part is that one of them messaged me privately afterward and said:

“Please forget everything you saw.”

So obviously I will be thinking about it at least once a week for the rest of my life.

I got it when i was around 6 years old and it makes me so happy that I still fit under it ( I'm 5'1 lol )

im 19 and i study at the public library a lot because my place is too loud. a while back i bought this plain black collar just for fun and started wearing it under my hoodie when i go. nobody can see it but i know its there.

once im at a table i sit really straight and stay quiet even if i want to get up or check my phone. in my head im following some made up rule like i was told not to move until im finished. sometimes i whisper “yes” under my breath when i finish a chapter like i got permission or something. it makes the whole studying thing feel less boring and i end up staying longer than i planned.

i take it off before i leave and no one has ever noticed. i know its a weird little habit but it works for me and i keep doing it. thats my silly secret.

I’m at work. Long ass shift mind you. It’s FINALLY time to go home. I’m wanting to get the hell outta there cuz when I tried to leave an hour n half before that we got slammed with a rush n I stayed to help, so I was trying to make sure I got out before that happened again.

I grab my keys, my coat, my purse and head out the door. Everything seems fine, Normal, until I get home. Five or so min after I walk in the door I get a call from someone at work. Right away I think “crap, now what?! (I was the GM so anytime I got a call it was almost always something bad lol) it’s one of my employees asking if I had my coat…. I said “ya…” thinking what stupid thing to call me about lol. He’s like “u suuure” I say “ya, I’m looking right at it “

He tells me my coat is there but he can’t find his coat. I go look at “my” coat and realize it’s pretty big, I look in the pockets and besides my keys, nothing in there is mine🤦🏻‍♀️ what I could never figure out is how I didn’t notice the coat I was wearing was two or three sizes too big for me!??! The only thing I could come up with is sometimes I’d wear my husbands cuz it was warmer so it didn’t even cross my mind when I put on my employees coat.

Having to bring that back to the store so he had something warm to wear home was so beyond embarrassing lmao in my defense tho… they were both the same color🤷🏻‍♀️

ok this is stupid but whatever. im 19 and still keep a couple stuffed animals on my bed from when i was younger. sometimes when im alone and feeling horny i end up touching myself with them still sitting there.

i make eye contact with the one bunny and whisper stuff like “dont look” or “youre not supposed to see this” while im doing it. half the time i cover their faces with a blanket mid way cause it feels too weird. other times i leave them staring and it somehow makes it better.

it started as a joke one night when i was bored and now its this dumb little ritual. i always put everything back normal after so nobody would ever know. i dont even fully get why it turns me on but it does and i cant stop.

Fuck I can’t explain how much I love cigarettes and eating fish they might be the best fucking invention on human history easily top 5 best feelings:

-taking a fat shit
-smoking a cig after a long time of not smoking
-eating fish/ any seafood
-sleep
-having hair played with

Embarassing story.

For context, I am not from the UK, I've been here for years butttt I've only visited to drink or pub crawls. Never on quiz evenings or nights so I don't know what the rules are.

There's a pub I frequent near my place in Manchester/ Salford border.

I've always gone there during the weekends. After workouts,, or just anytime to hang out. This time went there on a weekday evening when coincidently there was a pub quiz going on.

I took my friend there for the first time as well. The quiz starts, I'm down one pint and can't hear anything at this point ( I'm a lightweight ik ).

Then the guy says "Where was Elon Musk born?"

I hear that and then shout "South Africa".

Then I see him go red and says "You're lucky I'm not going to throw you out. You can't shout the answers, you've ruined it."

I was shocked. First reaction was wanting to go tell him to f off. But then I thought maybe I did do wrong.

He's shouting in the background "Someone's ruined the quiz so no point in asking the same question."

Then I sit there embarassingly with my friend. Finish our drinks, and as we leave we see the participants have a form they fill out.

Then I realised, I was wrong here, it's his place and I broke the rules. so I apologised to him personally and left.

I don't think I'll be able to show my face there ever again though 😭.

End of story lol.

I have to confess that I spent a solid minute looking for my phone the other day.

I checked my pockets, looked around my desk, and even started thinking about where I had used it last.

Then I realized I was holding it in my hand the entire time.

The worst part is that I was using the flashlight on my phone to help me look for it.

ok this is embarrassing. im 19 and work a part time job at a café. my manager is this strict older woman who corrects me a lot for small stuff, like how i fold the napkins or the way i wipe tables. most people would just get annoyed but for some reason i started writing down exactly what she said each time in this little notebook i keep in my bag.

after my shift i go home and read the entries again. sometimes more than once. it makes me feel weirdly settled, like the day is properly finished. i even started ranking them in order of how firm her tone was.

nobody knows about the notebook and i would be mortified if anyone found it. i hide it under my mattress. i know it’s a strange thing to do but i cant seem to stop. thats my weird little habit.

Today, I was working at my cash register—I work at a grocery store—and was happily ringing a man up! We were having the same old conversation about the weather, and how it's extremely humid and hot where I live, which is in a tourist town on the beach (side note, traffic is horrible this time of year, so it makes most tourists cranky asf)

He eventually mentioned that he lived in Seattle, so it never got this hot there, to which I laughed! How amazing to meet someone from another country, especially where I live! I then asked him, "I'm sure! Canada has the weirdest weather, I've heard," to which he stared at me in confusion.

But I kept going, like an idiot.

I asked him what brought him "down here," and he must have assumed that I misspoke, answering my question with the same old "the beach, the markets" blah blah blah. Finally, I had to ID him for beer. Every state has a different look to its ID, meaning that the DOB is in different places. This takes me a hot second, so I normally ask follow-up questions, just to make it less awkward. Anyway, as I glance at his license, I notice something weird.

He was from Washington.

My confused dumbass asked "Oh, did you recently move to the states?"

So! It turns out that Seattle, despite sounding like an extremely Canadian town, is NOT in Canada. Rather, it's in Washington — wh**ich is even weirder, as I think it would better suit Oregon or something. Seattle, Oregon sounds so much better.

Seriously, before anyone comes after me wirh allegations, it SOUNDS Canadian. Ontario, Prince Edward Island Quebec, Montreal, Vancouver, Seattle, and Edmonton. See? It fits right in!

This is now my shameful secret that I will carry to the grave.

Okay... Let's get into it lol.

Many, many years ago in a land far, far away (Las Vegas, NV), my family went on vacation, and my sister and I split off from the group to hang out. We were in our late teens or early twenties, running low on funds, so we decided to stick to some cheap sight-seeing. That’s when we were approached by a street recruiter for a timeshare and vacation rental company. They told us the company was running a "couples special" and that even if we didn't end up buying or renting anything, we’d still get $200 just for sitting through the presentation. We were genuinely trying to keep things completely legal and honest, but we were broke and curious.

When we mentioned we were sisters, the street recruiter just shrugged and said, "Just pretend that you're a couple."

Fast forward to the sales office: my sister and I pretended to be together, sat through the pitch, and looked over discounted listings. But they haggled with us HARD.

At one point, they started questioning if we were actually together and demanded to see our IDs. Since we share the same last name, we just leaned into it and pretended we were married. When they asked why we weren't wearing rings, we claimed we left them back at the hotel out of fear of getting robbed or targeted. Then came the ultimate line-crosser...they asked us to kiss.

We refused, calling them out for making us uncomfortable and harassing us. Ultimately, when they reached their wit's end trying to prove we were lying, they handed us over to their manager, who finally gave us the $200.

Looking back on it now, it was extremely embarrassing to go through all of that awkwardness and humiliation just for $200. We both felt terrible about our little con afterward and swore never to speak of it again because like they say, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

It's blue & in the shape of a sail boat

so yeah this is dumb. im 19 and share a place with two other girls. one of them has these thick fuzzy socks she leaves everywhere and for some reason i started stealing a pair when shes out.

i put them on and just wander around the living room and kitchen like im being watched. sometimes i whisper stuff under my breath like “yes ma’am” or “i’ll be good” while i make tea or tidy up. it lasts like ten minutes max then i take them off and put them back exactly where i found them.

it started as a joke in my head one night when i was bored and now it’s this weird little habit. nobody knows and i would die if they found out. the socks always go back clean so shes never noticed. i dont even know why it feels so calming but it does. thats my stupid secret i guess.

Idek who they are!

I always say thanks to folks and make the 🙏 pray hsnd gesture. Same way as is common in many nations. I like doing it and it's very natural to me now. I'm just a regular old white dude BTW.

Anyway we went to a Thai restaurant this weekend, and I felt I better not do thst , in case the waitress thought I was taking the piss.

ok so this is weird and i dont even know why im posting it but whatever. im 19 and live with roommates but theyre gone a lot for classes or work so i get the place to myself pretty often. a while back i bought this plain black collar online just because it looked kinda cute and i thought it would be funny. nothing fancy just a simple one with a little metal ring.

now whenever im alone for more than like an hour i put it on. and then i start talking out loud to myself in this soft voice like im answering to someone. stuff like “yes i’ll be good” or “can i have a treat please” while im making food or cleaning or just scrolling on my phone. sometimes i even sit on the floor next to the couch instead of on it. it makes me feel weirdly calm and focused? like my brain shuts up for a bit.

the worst part is one time my roommate came home early and i had to yank it off so fast and shove it under a pillow. she almost saw. i still get nervous thinking about that. nobody knows and i dont plan on telling anyone irl cause itd be so embarrassing. but yeah. thats my dumb little secret.

Long story longer. earlier today I made a post about getting some stuff in a 12 pack. I took out 2 items and replaced them with the exact product just two of the different types.

I then put "Holy shit has anybody ever experienced this?!?!? Dream come true". I figured id get trolled and a bunch of I DONT BELIEVE YOU memes. Well what actually happned is almost comedy

People started commenting "the universe is looking out for you" and "those are the best but what u wana do is". It's started a genuine conversation iam getting ideas and its actually refreshing.

But, since I posted it just to troll the community I guess alls well ends well I just feel bad because no1 has called it out. Not even sarcastically and I have yet to let the cat out of the bag.

Guess I should say nothing and let the positivity flow because as soon as I let them know I was bullshittin all the morale will be destroyed. Thanks for reading

TLDR: I made a fake troll post. Every1s showing love and now i feel like an ass

I wasnt attracted to her at all I always just get erections at checkups because knowing they have to check my pants puts thoughts in my mind and automatically I just get an erection

And she told me I had to put my hands up, I was embarrassed but did it after a delay

Idk if she realized I had it or not but I was in sweatpants and she did kinda make a face (not good or bad face just a face), like "an old lady makes you erect? Really ok" she didnt say anything about it but thats the vibe I got.

Nothing happened thats all