r/sillyconfession

Because he has a habit of biting my toes (only my toes, by the way, my wife gets to have her toes, only I am not allowed to have toes), I don't let my cat in the bedroom when I'm going to bed.

Naturally, this means he very much wants to be in the bedroom.

Now, for a tiny 8-pound cat, he has a hell of a motor, and on top of that, I have 100+ year-old hardwood floors from trees denser than what's around today. Stuff's basically concrete at this point.

Every once in a while, I will scan the room, not see the cat, and close the door. If he is hiding somewhere in the room, he will at this point start purring extremely loudly completely giving away whatever he's hidden under/behind. The floors amplify it, but I think it's funny if he forever thinks we can't hear purring, so I always let him get away with it (until he bites my toes five minutes later).

Never admitted this but I hate sitting on a cold seat. I always expect the seat to be cold so when I sit down and it’s nice and toasty it’s just a nice surprise

Every so often I’ll look at someone who’s really attractive or really well put together, and my brain just goes, “You have to poo too.”

It’s such a bizarre thing to think about. No matter who you are, we’re all dealing with the same smelly, awkward bodily function every day or every few days.

I want to die. That is all.

i don’t even know if it’s possible to die from onions but i hate them so much, i’d genuinely rather be hungry than touch something with onions in it. vegetables are great but onions disgust me.

Hi guys i need to get this off my chest, i’ve never been rich, i have always made my ends meet somehow. I say this because in the last couple years i started risking any amount i could risk on gambling sites, and so far things have balanced themselves out at the end of the day.

Nobody knows I gamble, and to be fair i understand how bad gambling is and I don’t like it, but in the economy of where i live it’s realistically the only way to make a decent amount of money that you don’t spend on anything that’s necessary for survival.

Today it happened, i just won 12k€ which I know it’s not a sum of money that changes your life but to me is huge. (When i gamble i deposit like 50€ max when i can afford it).
I can’t tell this to nobody so i wanted to get it out of my chest here, what should i do or can i do with this amount?

I remember there was a day where I ripped a super nasty "Silent But Deadly" fart. I'm not sure how it traveled to the other side of the room, but everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) was plugging their nose and coughing within 30 seconds. Our teacher even opened the door and frantically sprayed a bottle of air freshener.

Nobody knows it was me... and I revel in it.

https://preview.redd.it/ar8jx5xufabh1.png?width=654&format=png&auto=webp&s=f1ce226006854f5edc94c4f784bbd99ce7116206

i’ve never looked at a person and wanted to just eat them whole because of how adorable they are but she exists and i love her!! if i could gnaw on her bicep for hours id be happy.

I dilute acrylic paint with my saliva because I'm lazy to get up for water.

I don’t know who else would relate but basically I’m 18 and I have still not had a lick of alcohol or smoked anything. I have nothing against that stuff but when it comes to myself, I have the most insane shame; of the idea of me drinking. Genuinely wtf lol

(I’m in Australiaaaa where alcohol is legal from 18 years old!!!)

There's just something about walking around in public and having exposed feet that just brings me joy. I feel free in flip flops and the sound they make reminds me of my freedom

When I was a kid, probably about 8-9 my grandma (that I live with) was using this detergent I thought smelt heavenly. On saturdays I would stay home pretty much alone(other than my brother (24) who never left his room other than too go to the bathroom). During these times I would go into the laundry room and take a handful of powder detergent and run into the bathroom. From there I would take a random perfume lid and hide it in one of my drawers. I filled up the perfume lid with the detergent and left. Now if that wasn‘t weird enough, everytime I would use the bathroom I would open up the drawer and eat a little bit of it. Yes, EAT some of the detergent! I never once got sick, I genuinely don’t know how. This cup sat in the bathroom for a good YEAR until I forgot about it and I don‘t even know where it went. I warned you that I was a weird kid…

Hey y‘all had to get this off my chest because why not? I’m playing a prank on my husband for 4th of July. I bought a pack of 120 4th of July rubber duckies and am going to hide them all around my house tonight in the most inconvenient places for my husband to find accidentally. He hates clutter, but declared a prank war. As a couple being married for 3 years, we have been trying to find ways to keep ourselves busy and still entertaining with a new child. Life has been overly busy and stressful, so why not make game to really raise the stakes. He surprised me when we got home one day with the typical Whoopi cushion on my chair in the dining room. Child’s play. Now I’m stepping it up with rubber duckies I guess. next one will be the baby in the baby carrier on my back and two water guns (one with me and one for him) with a note saying “GAME ON!”

Any other ideas and I plan my next pranks that won‘t hurt while having a baby in the house?

While my first grade teacher was I guess introducing herself and what we would be doing as first graders, my ADHD having ah started wondering if my little eraser was exactly the size of my nose hole accidentally got it stuck for a few seconds to a minute. I started quietly freaking out but managed to get it unstuck without anyone noticing. I’ve never told anyone this now that I think about it lmao

Im currently a predental student, and when I have free time (usually lunch/dinner breaks) I always watch videos of dental procedures. Ive realized that when im watching these videos, its usually when Im eating.

I started shadowing a new office today and when I was watching fillings, I was so. damn. hungry. Looking back at it, every time Ive shadowed I always get so randomly hungry and its only when I am up close enough to actually see the procedure TT

Is this my future?? Will I snack on someone's extracted tooth mid procedure?? I am now having an existential crisis

Tldr: Pavlov's dinner bell = dental procedures

So I remember being in school and whenever people would ask “who’s your hero?” I would say no one. Whenever anyone would ask that I would think about all the tv shows I’ve watched where someone was in danger until someone swooped in and saved them and they would say “OH! MY HERO!” In my mind I would think I don’t want anyone saving me just so I can go googoo over them. That’s weird. 🤦🏻‍♀️

​I need to get this off my chest because the guilt is eating me alive, and my wife is entirely oblivious.

​When I first started dating my wife, her dad was incredibly intimidating. He’s a stoic, quiet guy who doesn't do small talk. For the first year, we sat in agonizing silence during every family gathering. I was desperate for his approval.

​One day, I noticed a vintage model train set in his basement. In a moment of sheer panic to break the silence, I blurted out that I was "fascinated by historical railways" and had "always wanted to get into model railroading."

​I knew absolutely nothing about trains. I still don't care about trains. I just wanted the man to look at me without squinting.

​The Escalation

​What I thought would be a one-off conversation turned into a relentless, four-year snowball effect. He lit up. It was the first time I saw him smile. Since that fateful day, my life has been hijacked by locomotives.

​Here is a brief timeline of how deep in the hole I am:

​Year 1: He buys me a $200 starter kit for Christmas. I have to set it up in our spare room and send him update photos.

​Year 2: We start attending regional train expos together. I learn the difference between O scale and HO scale to survive conversations.

​Year 3: He gifts me a vintage conductor's pocket watch and tells me I am "the son he never had."

​Year 4 (Present): He just pitched a two-week, cross-country train trip for just the two of us to "chase the heritage routes."

​The Dilemma

​I genuinely love the guy, and our bond is legitimately strong now. But our entire relationship is built on a foundation of miniature tracks and lies. I spend hours researching train trivia before he comes over just so I can maintain my cover.