AITA for wanting more than a shower quickie every other week?
I've been with my partner (30M) for about a year. I'm 37F. We don't live together.
Overall, our relationship is good. We enjoy spending time together, have similar interests, and genuinely care about each other.
For context: yes, he's younger. No, it's not a huge age gap at our age, but I definitely expected the stereotype to work a little better.
I'm very active. I run, climb, lift, go to festivals, stay busy and honestly have more energy than most people my age.
Apparently, I'm the boyfriend in every dead bedroom story, except I'm a 37-year-old woman.
I seem to have a much higher libido than he does, which feels weird to admit because usually Reddit is full of guys complaining that their wives are tired, stressed, have headaches, too much on their plates, and they haven't had sex in weeks.
Well, in my relationship, I'm that guy.
And honestly, I don't need some movie-worthy passionate experience every day. I'd be perfectly happy with a shower quickie from time to time.
The issue is that when sex only happens every week or two, a quickie stops feeling spontaneous and starts feeling like that's our entire sex life.
Recently, before going out, he suggested a quickie in the shower.
I said no because I wanted actual time together later. I literally told him: "Let's go out, have fun, and when we get back, we're having proper sex."
Throughout the evening I started hinting that I was ready to leave. Mentioned the time, nudged him a bit, tried to make it obvious that I wanted to head home. He either genuinely didn't notice or simply didn't connect the dots.
Eventually we got home.
We got into bed, and instead of making any kind of move, showing initiative, or even trying, he slowly got up and went to play games on his computer.
For the record, I'm a gamer too. Gaming itself isn't the problem. I completely understand wanting to play games. I do it myself.
What bothered me was the timing.
We've only been together for a year. We don't live together. We'd already talked about having sex later that night. I'd been trying to signal that I wanted to go home.
And when we finally got there, he chose gaming.
I was just lying there in his bed, in his apartment, wondering what the hell I was even doing there.
Honestly, if I hadn't had a few drinks that night, I probably would've gotten in my car and driven home.
Now I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable.
Am I asking too much by wanting more intimacy in a one-year relationship?
Or is it fair to feel hurt when it seems like I'm constantly the one initiating, planning, hinting, and hoping, while my partner seems perfectly okay with sex happening only when it's convenient for him or not happening at all?
AITA?