Is it right to discuss decisions made?
US. I have been blessed with a “bonus grandma”, who, unlike my own family, has done well for herself. She, having no family of her own, has entrusted me and my sister to execute her will. I was never expecting to receive all of her money, but I was shocked to see nearly all her money is being donated to an expensive private university.
Is it right to open a discussion about decisions like this? I feel conflicted because on one hand, I’m happy she is able to do what she wants with her money. On the other hand, I fear this university has been predatory. Not to mention the president makes $500k per year, and yet the campus has crumbling, moldy buildings, lacks resources, etc.
It feels wrong though, because I think deep down I thought she would ensure me and my sister would be okay. We have no other prospects in our lives, and while we are working hard to end the cycle of generational trauma and financial issues, we will never be “set” so to speak. And I fear a future where anything we are able to save for ourselves will go towards taking care of elders who have not made plans for themselves.
I considered asking her plainly to reconsider her allocations. That this money would be life altering for me and my sister, and absorbed with little care to the university. We have a strong relationship, and I don’t think a conversation would hurt it, but you can never know for sure, I suppose. She also is generously including us in the form of small gifts, which I don’t want to seem ungrateful for.
Looking for advice from people wiser than me as I don’t have parents that can advise.
Edited to explain better (didn’t think it was super important), I am a co-trustee with my sister. All her assets are absorbed into the trust after we receive our gifts. There is no other “surprise I’ve taken care of you” clause. There are CDs, and I do not know who those go to.
Edited again: thank you for all your advice. I think now, my next steps are to continue to love and be there for her, even now knowing her plans. I think this will prove to both her and myself that I am not entitled or “tacky” as most of you say I am.
I think I misrepresented myself in the heat of some comments, but I could never explain the nuances of an entire relationship here, nor ask you all to understand that.
If the opportunity presents itself in the future, I will open the conversation with asking her to talk more about her decisions, rather than blatantly explaining my position in all this. Maybe this would even give me a better understanding and perspective that I don’t currently have.
Thank you again!