u/Vegangamergirl1995

I have a 10-day trip to Barcelona planned for September. Originally I booked it together with my ex, but we recently ended our relationship after almost 10 years together.

Now I'm doubting whether I should still go.

Part of me thinks it could be a great experience and a chance to do something for myself. Another part of me worries that I'll feel lonely because the trip was supposed to be shared with someone.

I've never traveled alone before, so I have a few questions:

• Is Barcelona a good destination for a first solo trip?
• Is 10 days too long to be there alone?
• How easy is it to meet people if you're traveling solo?
• How safe did you feel, especially as a woman?
• Did solo travel help you after a breakup, or did it make you feel more lonely?
• If you were in my situation, would you still go?

I'd love to hear honest experiences, both positive and negative. Thank you! :)

Hi iedereen, ik ben van plan het weekend van 22 augustus in Alkmaar mijn 30e verjaardag te vieren en dan natuurlijk ook uit te gaan!!

Ik ben zelf opgegroeid in omgeving Alkmaar maar ik ben op m'n 18e naar de randstad vertrokken. In 'mijn tijd' kon je super leuk uitgaan in Alkmaar, in de dancing Cheese/Joey's enzo.

Maar nu ga ik in Alkmaar uit gaan voor het eerst in 12 jaar vraag ik me af of het nog steeds leuk is? Ik neem 3 vriendinnen mee en ik wil hun niet meenemen naar een dode boel, vandaar mijn vraag! Alvast bedankt :)

Hi everyone,

I (F30) ended my 10-year relationship with my (now ex) fiancé (M33) two days ago. We made the decision together. He wants children, and I can’t have them and don’t want to be a mother.

I have stage 4 endometriosis (and ADHD), and my health situation is complicated. I’ve been dealing with fatigue for a long time. For the past 2.5 years I was on leuprorelin injections, which took away the pain. I developed severe throat issues (very likely as a side effect). At this point I can only speak a few hours a day.

I stopped the injections a few months ago and switched to the birth control pill, and my throat seems to be improving very slowly, but I honestly don’t know if it will ever fully go away. Because of these throat problems, I haven’t been able to work for 8 months.

Since stopping the injections, the pain has come back and I now have daily abdominal pain again. On top of that, I’ve had continuous vaginal bleeding since April 2025, literally every day. Because of that, I can’t be intimate.

I’m going to keep working on my health and trying to improve things, but what I’m struggling with right now as a newly single person is this:

Is a relationship even realistic for someone like me?

I can’t talk much, I’m in pain, I’m exhausted, and I can’t have sex due to the bleeding. I genuinely wonder how people with similar symptoms navigate dating or relationships.

Are there partners out there who are understanding and empathetic enough to accept this? Is it fair to even bring this into a relationship?

I’m not asking this from a place of self-pity. I think I could accept being single if that’s how life turns out. But it is something that weighs on my mind, and I would really appreciate hearing from others:

How do you date or maintain relationships with severe endometriosis or similar limitations? What has your experience been like?

Thank you so much in advance.

Update:
Today my partner came home from work and I decided to ask him directly whether he was genuinely unsure about wanting children, or whether he actually knew he wanted children and was afraid to end the relationship because of it.

He admitted that he is actually certain that he wants children. He also said he is certain that this desire will still be there in 5 years-10 years time. He told me that the idea of ending our relationship is heartbreaking for him because he knows how painful this is for me and how much it hurts both of us.

I told him that if he has a genuine desire to have children, then we already know what we need to do, no matter how painful it is. I also realized that there is no real alternative left for me either. Even in the best-case scenario where he would have changed his mind and told me he no longer wanted children and wanted to choose me instead, I don't think I could trust him. I know myself. I would spend the rest of my life wondering whether he secretly regretted that decision, whether he was unhappy, and whether he was hiding those feelings from me to protect me. I would constantly question whether he was truly okay with giving up something so important.

I also believe that I would become hypervigilant. Every time we would se children or families, I would have found myself analyzing his reactions and trying to figure out whether his desire for having children had returned. I would be looking for signs that he had changed his mind again. In short, the trust is gone.

Because of that, we have decided to end the relationship. We have already started discussing how we can separate as friends and handle practical matters such as the house as respectfully as possible.

I have been crying almost continuously since writing my previous post, so right now I am mostly hoping to find some peace and acceptance in all of this. I am sure I will come back to this post a lot in the future :').

TLDR: I asked my partner directly if he truly wants children. He said he is certain he does, now and in the future. We both realized there is no compromise, and even if he changed his mind, I wouldn't be able to trust it. We have decided to end the relationship and separate as amicably as possible. Thank you all for your support.

My [30F] fiancé [33M] and I have been together for almost 10 years, we own a home together and we've been engaged for the last 2 years. We genuinely love each other and have built a life together.

About 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with stage IV endometriosis and was told that I am infertile. My fiancé comes from the Middle East and had always wanted children growing up. However, when we learned about my infertility, he told me that he saw a future with me regardless and that he would rather have a life with me than children without me.

We had many conversations about this over the years. Every time I brought it up, he reassured me that as long as he had me, he didn't need children. When he proposed to me 2 years ago, I actually stopped him before giving my answer and asked if he was absolutely sure he wanted to marry me knowing about my illness and infertility. Once again, he said yes without hesitation, and only then did I say yes to his proposal.

A year ago, we visited a fertility specialist together to make absolutely sure there were no options left. The specialist told us that in order to have a child, I would likely need one or more surgeries, three rounds of IVF, and even then my chances of success would only be around 15–25%. On top of that, there was a significant risk that the surgery could worsen my endometriosis and potentially leave me with a (temporary) stoma.

After hearing that, I decided I did not want to pursue this route. My fiancé fully supported that decision and told me he stood behind me 100%.

Three weeks ago, however, we had a major argument. For months, I had felt that he was emotionally unavailable. He's a physician and works around 100 hours a week, while I've been off work due to side effects from my endometriosis medication, so I assumed these factors were the reason. However, during the argument, he finally broke down and admitted: he thinks he does want children after all.

He said he isn't 100% certain, but over the past year, whenever he saw children at work or among friends and family, he felt a strong desire to have a child of his own. Instead of acknowledging those feelings, he kept pushing them away because he knew having children simply wasn't possible for us. He now thinks suppressing those feelings contributed to him becoming emotionally withdrawn and resentful.

Since this argument, he has been actively trying to explore this decision instead of avoiding it. He has spoken openly with friends, with me, with his parents, and he is planning to see a psychologist. We are also starting couples therapy.

Today he told me that if he had to choose right this second, "gun to his head," he would choose having a child. However, he also said that the idea of ending our relationship and having that child with another woman makes him physically sick.

The problem is that I'm now starting to feel resentment myself. I feel as though I've been misled for years, including when he proposed. I understand that people can change, but it's hard not to feel hurt when I specifically asked him multiple times whether he was sure he wanted a future without children.

At this point, I genuinely don't know what to do. Do I wait and see what comes out of therapy? Do I end the relationship now? Do I give him more time to figure out what he wants? Has anyone been through something similar, either as the partner who wanted children or the partner who couldn't have them?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: My fiancé and I have been together for 10 years. I was diagnosed with stage IV endometriosis and infertility 3 years ago, and he repeatedly told me he was okay with never having children. Recently, he admitted that he may actually want kids and is now trying to figure out what he truly wants. We're starting therapy, but I'm struggling with feeling misled and don't know whether to wait, stay, or end the relationship.

EDIT: I have posted an update here: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationshipadvice/comments/1u5n9do/update_my_30f_partner_33m_wants_children_but_im/