u/VelveteenRabbitsEar

Art commissions are a popular way to feel closer to one’s partner–whether you struggle to draw yourself, or you enjoy a variety of styles, it’s never a bad thing to support independent illustrators!

However, I do understand that with the personal nature of our requests, working one on one with a person can be daunting–so for those who are socially anxious or shy, I would just like to give you a baseline to think about. At the end of the day, artists are typically just trying to make ends meet through their skill and passion for the craft–so long as your request is within their specifications, and boundaries, I promise you it is just a job, and they won’t judge. In order to gather and maintain a clientele, they need to be professional, so that is how most interactions will go–you may even be surprised by how warm the reception can be, especially as yumeshipping becomes more common.

If you do happen to get unlucky with bad attitudes, scams, or Gen AI passed off as their own, blacklist them, spread the word, and rest assured they won’t end up with many clients that way!

Typically, the process goes like this: 

1-You find an artist whose style and price range suits your needs

2-You send them a message with the general overview of your idea, preferably with references, and they will tell you whether or not they’re suitable for the job

3-Once the request is accepted, you send them the payment upfront

4-Depending on their terms, they make you a sketch and ask if there are any revisions to be made.

5-After you confirm that the sketch is acceptable, they proceed to lineart, where changes can no longer be made.

6-Finally, they will finish with colour and rendering–the updates per stage depends entirely on the artist and complexity of the piece

7-If you are on a third party platform, you leave them a review and enjoy your beautiful new piece of artwork!

Additionally, some artists offer less polished options for a cheaper price, such as sketches, only lineart, or flat colour (without shading or complex rendering). Chibis or bust up are also generally a cheaper option.

💖**　**Artist Terms & Etiquette 💖

It’s important to thoroughly read an artist’s terms and specifications before opening a request; check their portfolio thoroughly, DOs and DON’Ts, pricing, and process to make sure they’re the right fit.

-Many advertise OC x Canon or Yume/Selfship as a selling point, but this isn’t necessarily a requirement for them to accept the work or be cordial about it. 

-Be aware that not all artists allow revisions, and some have a limit on them even during the sketching phase!

-Generally, you can also assume that the artist will use the work as part of their portfolio unless you specificially request it to be kept private, which may or may not cost a small fee

-It’s best to message them only when you have a clear idea and guideline for what you want upfront–even in the sketching stage, there are changes too major to be made without a hefty price increase

-Try to bring as many references as you can so everything is concise and accurate to your vision

-It’s generally good form to keep emails/notifications on or check the platform you communicate on often to stay on top of updates to ensure the process goes smoothly

-Sometimes life happens or artists get busy–while every freelancer wants to deliver fast and quality work, sometimes art takes time, or they have too many clients at once. So long as they keep in touch, it never hurts to have a bit of patience if updates are slow–especially if they’re an in demand artist.

-The work is yours in the end to edit, repost, and reprint however you’d like, but it’s generally good etiquette to credit them when sharing!

Lastly, a note about tipping: this is entirely personal preference and shouldn’t be a demand; I dislike tipping culture in general, but sometimes if it’s an artist that is very low priced and I feel is or undervaluing their work, or went above and beyond with a lot of revisions, I try to leave at least a few extra euros for them!

❤️ Communication

-For those who struggle with the personal or social anxiety aspect of it, here’s what I’ve always done: 
Open with a greeting, the general request if you are unsure what category it would fall under (i.e, half body vs bust), and whether this is possible for them/they are available. It’s good to be polite, and just ask if anything is unclear! Most artists are more than happy to answer your questions, as it ensures the best possible outcome for both of you.

-You don’t necessarily have to specify about your relationship, the details, or the reason for the request—they don’t need to know, per se, but you can elaborate if you wish to. I typically am shy and just ask for “two characters xyz” or OC x Canon if I must, though obviously it is just me and my husband. 

-Regarding references, there are many ways you can do this. It depends on what you’re looking for, but I like to either put everything in a zipped folder with each image labeled as its purpose (i.e,) Character A, Character B, Background, etc. if it’s a less complicated piece. 

-If there are many little details, I make a Google Document with each photo and a note beneath it signifying what it’s for, as well as a general overview for mood, poses, preferred colouring, and even a little bit of context for what I want included if it’s relevant, but it’s entirely down to personal preference. Just be clear in what you want! Artists can generally work with vague ideas, but photos work better than text as it’s a visual medium we are trying to manage here!

-When asking for revisions, I tend to write out in bullet points what I want changed, and sometimes even draw over the current image to illustrate more clearly what I want. I am a very particular client, though; text usually suffices, but I do find that artists do well with visual cues for more accurate changes. Additionally*, don’t feel bad about asking for changes.* I know it can be nerve wracking, but you are paying in the end–so long as you are polite, still within the stage where things can be adjusted, and not asking for a huge overhaul of everything, they will understand!

🧡 Types of Requests

-Custom

 Most artists will already offer slots or types of illustrations, such as “two characters half body” in whatever pose and background you prefer, with the details to be worked out once you open a request. These are generally the ones that allow for the most revisions and creative freedom.

-YCH (your character here)

 A given pose by the artist with your preferences in characters, colour pallete, and sometimes background modifications. Pretty self explanatory!

-Skeb Style Commissions/”Surprise Me!”

On Skeb itself: I have little experience with these, but to my knowledge it’s a system where you give your character references alongside a prompt for the artist and deposit an amount of whatever you wish to pay; an artist may pick up your request at their discretion, and draw it as detailed as they feel is equal to the price given.

“Surprise Me!” types: It’s similar in concept, though not limited to just the Skeb site; typically you input a sum of money, a prompt, and the artist will interpret it at they see fit.

Do note that price may vary depending on complexity. An artist’s base prices are for the generic categorizing of bust, half body, full body, and levels of background detail. It’s of utmost importance to ensure before finalizing anything that the price is acceptable for your request and that you will have the money upfront.

💛 Finding Trustworthy Artists 💛

As freelance work becomes more popular, there are many places to choose from!

Vgen 

Vgen is the go to these days, as its verification system is quite involved to protect against AI and scammers; additionally, it most fairly compensates its artists out of the various mainstream platforms. It’s very smooth to use in my opinion, so it would be my top recommendation.

Communities & Word of Mouth

There are plenty of artists around our communities as well! It doesn’t ever hurt to support local talent, especially if you want someone who will understand. I would say, however, it’s generally a bit iffy to outright ask if someone does commissions or even art trades–only inquire if they explicitly state they are accepting requests or advertising.

As a side note, plenty of folks here could probably offer their own recommedations as well, as to trustworthy artists.

Social Media

Many artists have personal or art accounts where they share their portfolio and advertise commissions on Instagram, Twitter, and sometimes tumblr; sometimes they’re tagged as emergency commissions and shared around, though if you don’t follow a lot of illustrators or fandom folks it’s probably less likely to stumble upon them. 

There are also mutliple subs for freelancers offering their services on Reddit, but I cannot attest to the quality.

Fiverr

I’ve used fiverr quite often, though I strongly dislike the steep cut they take and added feeds; it is still worth mentioning, however, as there are some great and efficient artists here–just be sure to vet for those with good reviews and consistency

Skeb

I’m unsure about Skeb as I’ve never used it, but I wanted to put a note about it for those who are interested in the ‘pay what you want’ model–at the cost of creative control, and obviously, quality in respect to the amount of money offered. I do think, however, it’s a niche worth considering if you prefer the style of Japanese artists and don’t mind a gamble.

Etsy

Worth a mention as it is another possible avenue where artists advertise, but it’s a little more difficult to verify, and Gen AI seems very prevalent here in recent years.

🤍 Closing 🤍

A last note I want to make is that scams are increasingly common, especially with the rise of Gen AI. Most artists are not trying to scam you, but it’s best to stick to platforms with a third party witness in case of potential bad actors. Usually it’s pretty obvious as they’re too pushy, offering a price that seems too good to be true, being shady about proof of progress updates, or asked for the money then ghosted you. 
If you are commissioning an artist not tied to a source with a protective mechanism in place, be sure at least that they have an active and solid looking social media, consistent portfolio, and good ratings from word of mouth or otherwise in plain sight!

With that said, the bottom line is every artist is different, each with unique terms, process, and systems–I at the least hope I could cover the basics and take the anxiety of the equation for those who struggle with it. It’s a very wide field nowadays, so I’m certain with a bit of digging and luck you’ll find the right fit.

Since this comes up on occasion, I wanted to put something small out there for those who may be in this situation. I have less experience in this, but I’ll try my best, as I know a few people who do.

Sometimes character deaths will be used as narrative tools, especially side characters, to heighten the emotional stakes, to show a core trait, or because they no longer serve the plot—this is especially true of villains or ones that come from certain genres. This can make or break a relationship for some, so my best advice is to ask yourself if you truly love this person enough to face all the challenges that will come with this. That could mean severe grief, lack of new content or merch,  a potentially difficult relationship with their source material, and even less available canon of them. It is possible to have a successful relationship like this, but you must be prepared to find alternate explanations and coping mechanisms in the worst of all cases.

Luckily, however, like many of these subjects, there are a few ways of handling this:

❤️
Alternate Timeline

The most simple way is to consider your relationship a divergence from their canon, either a story in universe, or in the physical world. It could be a matter of butterfly effect, different choice, injury instead of fatality, or them outright avoiding the scenario that led to this, depending on the circumstance. This will be very specific to your partner and their world, but considering our connections to them are already outside the source material, it’s entirely plausible for things to change for them once involved with someone outside of it.

🩷 Separated Narrative

It’s also valid to view your partner as an external person who has a life beyond their source material. I.e., what happened could be a general recollection of their past, and how things may have gone, but they still exist by your side as a person and separate being who is alive through your presence rather than a story they’re in—you can, additionally, treat their narrative a bit like an AU.

🤍 Life through creative endeavors

A more grounded explanation could be to give them new life through creative endeavors, such as drawing, writing, making them in games, and archiving their memory however you can. Through keeping them in your heart and day to day life, they’re still alive and present in new scenarios.

🧡 In special cases…

Sometimes characters die off screen, with or without proof of death. In the more vague cases you could consider it a possibility they escaped, or could be revived later if the source involves magic.

💛 Closing
It’s normal to have heavy days on occasion, no matter how long it’s been. Canonical death of the person you love is definitely not easy to witness, and grief isn’t linear. It may always be a sore spot, but so long as you have more good days than bad, it’s healthy to let yourself feel what you feel. But hopefully in time, you’ll be able to take comfort in your love stronger than whatever story the author wanted to tell.

Wishing you the very best with your partners. Slowly making my way through the last of my bullet points for this project… I hope they can be helpful to even one person. ❤️✨

I’ve decided to continue this project of mine; I’m very quiet lately due to life stuff, but I’m still determined to finish my plans. I have a few more sections drafted, but if there’s a specific topic I’ve yet to cover that you’d like advice on, feel free to request it.

Note:

One doesn’t need to get married to have a happy, healthy, long term relationship–it’s really just a formality these days, as well as a traditional celebration of love, especially since in relationships like ours there is no bureaucratic benefit. When to get married is a subsection I did end up writing out, but that’s very subjective and I don’t want to come off too strong with my personal values and stance on the subject, as I do take these things very seriously.

With that out of the way, there are many ways you can officiate or signify a long term commitment to your partner, but it doesn’t necessarily mean expensive rings or a grand ceremony everyone associates with modern weddings; you can keep it low key or fancy as you find suitable for you and your partner, as in my opinion, personal sentimental value will always trump monetary investment.

For those who do want to explore their options, I will try to give a basic summary as well as tips for each…

❤️ Expressions & Ceremonies ❤️

🧡Most obvious would be to commission a wedding themed piece, or draw one yourself! This could be the scene itself you imagine, or multiple depending on budget and/or artistic ability.

💛For writing, it’s the same deal, though you can expand on the emotions and description more.

💚Games that allow for marriage setups the easiest would be The Sims series for direct interactivity–it’s quite easy to make elaborate photoshoots here with plenty of romantic interactions in the game. It’s additionally much simpler to include the family/friends/whoever you wish to attend. 
(Additionally, there is the recent entry of Tomodachi Life, and even the 3DS version, but it’s much more random)

🩵Edit them into a photo of your wedding venue of choice, even just imaginary

💙Write your vows down somewhere

💜Get a bouquet of flowers or arrangement to represent them on the chosen date

🩷Make or commission a ‘wedding certificate’ to indicate your marriage & who attended; you can do this in photoshop, canva, or any graphic design software, for example

🤍Though a physical ceremony would take a bit more planning, it doesn’t have to be anything overly ambitious to be meaningful. Depending on space and monetary constraints, you could easily have an intimate setup at home with you, your partner, and a handful of people you’d trust to take part, if any.  Outside of the above ideas, you could include a small setup with flowers, perhaps a photo of them, and formal attire. You could also decorate your house, yard, or venue of choice however you wish, or keep it low key with a nice dinner and dessert. There are really no rules other than your symbolic celebration of love!

💖2D Wedding / Organized Packages 💖

Additionally, there are now companies who offer ‘wedding packages’ for those in relationships like ours; while they are really no more than an elaborate photoshoot, not legally binding, it could be comforting for those who want something more elaborate and showy. The drawback is how expensive they are, and it’s likely not many could afford it, as you must provide your own materials, cover shipping costs, travel expenses, and that’s not even counting the baseline fees for the venue!

I don’t have personal experience with this, but I do know someone who did, and I believe they had an overall positive experience with it; while it seems they are located in Japan, communication is also available in English.

But in my personal opinion, it does not make a relationship more or less valid to have a grand ceremony like this. If you go into this with the mindset to be ‘the one’, keep in mind this is really no more than a “bragging right”, or proof of financial stability. Some people have even participated in these weddings just for the fun of it or with a ‘favorite character’ they are particularly attached to, but not dating, so in the end you should do it because you want to and can afford it.

🤍 My Experience… 🤍

As a subnote I will leave my personal journey in case it could be of help to anyone. 

Keep in mind Inuyasha and I are not very traditionally romantic people, and so we didn’t have much of a ceremony more than one in spirit and an exchange of rings. I personally kept my engagement rings, a ‘cheap’ set with personal symbolism unique to our relationship and identities; I had a piece of art commissioned in the likeness of our wedding in his world, wrote out a depiction where our found family could attend, and spent an extended holiday in nature doing cross country volunteer work, as that was most suitable for us. Later I did write my vows as well.

We got engaged after about two years together, and it wasn’t my plan at the time, but I had known since the beginning I would be in it with him for the long haul, so when everything fell into place I trusted my instinct. I combed through a lot of hard questions about compatibility, stability, and whether he even loved me back before fully accepting it as a possibility, but it felt as if he’d answered strong and clear, then, and I decided to take it as a nudge. Our subsequent anniversary I took for a wedding date to keep things consistent, and because it was the perfect time during my travels to make it official, and though I’d like a small ceremony to renew our vows someday, if it never happens, it won’t change the validity of our marriage or the last three years spent in marital bliss with many more to come❤️

If anyone has tips or their own experience to add, feel free, but I hope this could be helpful since I see the question come up quite regularly. 🫶

I’m certain many of us are in the camp of either/or here–both have their boons and drawbacks, but it’s up to you to make it work. The good news is, while it still may be a dealbreaker for some, you have options, and plenty of positives to focus on…

❤️ Too Much Content! ❤️

This is the problem I’m familiar with as someone with a protagonist of a very mainstream, albeit past its peak, franchise–personally, it’s always been a bonus for me to have so much to explore, but even as a massive fan of the franchise, it does get overwhelming sometimes; it’s easy to feel you’re missing out or not doing enough, especially when there’s a lot of lost media or untranslated stuff in terms of more vintage or very long sources.

What I want to preface this with is, it may take time, it may be hard to reach, but you should ideally want to consume as much as possible to get the best understanding you can. Sometimes you’ll be limited by finances or accessibility, and that’s okay, but my personal recommendation is to work through the main source material with their scenes at least once, and make notes if it’s a lot to keep track of. For ultra popular series with the length to match, typically fans will have made extensive compilations of which chapters/episodes/etc each character appears in to help guide you.

Never be afraid to use dedicated fans’ resources to your advantage–they often compile the most intricate and seemingly ‘useless’ info out of passion. 

🩷 Tips for accessing spin off content 🩷

💛If there are games, especially for older systems, emulation is a great tool; I am unfortunately not tech savvy enough to break this down, but there are plenty of guides online

💛Bilingual fans often post translations to varying degrees of accuracy, if a piece of their media is not in your native language; this of course is more likely the more popular the franchise is

💛Sites such as tumblr, The Wayback Machine, and The Internet Archive can help with finding old sites and broken links

💛If all else fails for any main series content, there are allegedly, probably other ways of getting ahold of some media, though DVDs or physical copies of stuff should theoretically work. 😉

🩷 A note on Merch 🩷

With great popularity also comes great potential for consumerism–and this might include a lot of personal opinion, but most of it is FOMO and marketing tactics. It’s easy to feel spoiled by this and want to buy everything, but it’s just as easy to fall into that pitfall of feeling like you need everything, especially rarer items, which just drives the secondhand market up like crazy. Even if there’s plenty of merch of them out there, official or not, it’s best to be selective rather than trying to get everything you see; there’s nothing wrong with collecting, don’t get me wrong, but you should get only what you afford, what you have space for, and what you truly want beyond being able to flex or feeling like you don’t love them enough for forgoing something that was ‘available’.

🤍 Too little content 🤍
The only real experience I have with this comes from fandom and niche interests–however, while it can suck, there are also silver linings, such as more manageable cataloging of their content and scenes that are easy to revisit. You’ll have to decide whether self sufficiency is viable for you depending on how little there is of them; regardless, characters with little screen time will require, in my opinion, a heavy degree of creativity to keep things fresh, but it’s more than worth it for the person you love.

🩶 Merch / DIY 🩶
For lesser known franchises and characters, merch can be hard to come by–you may need to hunt listings for rarer items, and the reality is you’ll either be creating yourself or commissioning a lot more. However, this tends to mean supporting independent artists, and a more unique result, such as a piece only you have, or made with your own hands. Plenty of talented folks take custom plush commissions or print keychains, but I highly recommend taking up a skill yourself as even if it takes time to get better, it’s far cheaper and very rewarding.

With that said, I recommend this even for those with massive amounts of official merch. Doing it yourself is always more special.

🩵 Headcanon & Expansion 🩵

Regardless of how much or little content your partner(s) have, I think it’s always a good idea to extrapolate or make what I call educated guesses about their preferences, personality quirks, or maybe even past tidbits or family depending on what information is given. Letting them reveal it in whichever way you connect might be ideal, but sometimes a detail just makes sense intuitively for a character.

💙 Fandom 💙

This may be controversial, but I just wanted to be exhaustive in case it could help someone.

Depending on the size of the fandom, it may help to share your own creations, particularly solo ones. Sometimes it can inspire others and their own passion for a character. Likewise, if it is very small, sometimes there will be creators who draw or write for a certain character primarily, though it is less likely to be non-shipping content. 

💜 Closing 💜

Typically, more content means a more popular partner, and vice versa, though there are exceptions. Whatever your case, it can be easy to feel jealous of others in a seemingly better position, but remember that whether it’s too much noise or dead silence, the only thing that matters is your relationship and the people in it. I believe I’ve already outlined ways to deal with the major drawbacks of each in other sections I’ve posted here and archived on my
profile, but it’s good to find the silver linings where you can, however that looks to you.

Of course this is all just my opinion, but I hope this can help someone because I’ve seen both topics come up quite often in the past! Feel free to add your own suggestions, if any. And I apologize for any formatting issues, reddit is being wonky. 😅