I also have some work stuff in there that’s been sitting there for months and I’m not taking it out at this point. Most of this is basically the same stuff that just moves from backpack to bag. This setup is my work version, so I usually also carry my laptop and charger 😶🌫️
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I’ve become completely obsessed with my appearance and I don’t know how to stop.
I constantly check myself in mirrors, take photos and record videos from every possible angle. I compare selfies, candid photos, mirrored images and videos, trying to understand which version of me is the real one.
The problem is that I look different in all of them.
In the mirror, I have one perception of myself. In selfies, I usually look fairly similar, although I know I can unconsciously choose flattering angles and lighting. In videos, I look different again. But in photos taken by other people, I often barely recognize myself.
When I see those photos, my flaws seem enormous. I become fixated on my facial asymmetry, my expressions and details that I had never noticed before. Sometimes I genuinely think I look deformed or monstrous.
I’m 33, and this only started becoming a serious problem during the last three years. Before that, I had never noticed many of these flaws. Now I can’t understand how I went almost 30 years without seeing them.
I no longer trust my own perception. I don’t know whether these features are actually as noticeable as they seem to me, whether I see myself more positively in the mirror, or whether my mind is exaggerating everything when I look at photos.
I also have no idea how other people perceive me.
I would give anything to be able to see myself through someone else’s eyes for a few seconds. I feel like I desperately need to know what I truly look like, but the more I check, photograph and analyse myself, the more confused and distressed I become.
When someone casually says, “That’s you in the photo,” it hurts so bad. I know they simply mean that they recognize me, but part of me wants them to say that I’m not photogenic or that I don’t really look like that in person.
It feels like I’ve stepped out of the Matrix and suddenly seen a reality I was blind to before. I’ve always known I wasn’t attractive, but now it feels like I’m noticing flaws I somehow ignored for most of my life, and I can’t even come to terms with how I look because I can’t stop checking.
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Ho visitato una fattoria di livello 46 e avevano dei cavalli! Non li avevo mai visti prima! Com'è possibile?? Come posso averli anch'io?
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I’m starting to wonder if I’m slowing down my progress by stopping as soon as the daily challenge is done. I usually keep some energy in reserve because I’m worried I’ll run out when the next daily challenge comes around.
(I also usually complete each album twice to earn extra energy, I don’t really want to do it more than that because I don’t want to spend too much time on the game, and I’d also like to give other players a chance to win too. Of course, that’s just a personal choice.)
Would love to hear how everyone manages it.
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