Some doubts from a sympathizer
Hi, I recently became interested in the Religious Society of Friends and I considered seriously join it, it attracts me because of its wish of a more authentical spirituality, however, I don't know if I can really fit here.
• Firstly, I'm Christian, I know some quakers (an many users here) aren't really Christian (e.g: i've heard about universalist and atheist quakers or even buddhists, pagans and muslims, I don't reject to interact with these types of Friends but I think a community like this wouldn't be my deffinitive place) but personally I am, I believe in Jesus Christ as God and Messiah (for me, he was so great so I think it's imposible he can't be), however, my approach is more personal and of individual seeking for a direct relationship between God and me, not imposing faith to others, since Holy Week I want a kinda mystical experience inspired by Memento Mori and figures such as St. John of the Cross and Rumi (I'm not catholic nor sufi but I love their approach) and I think Religious Society of Friends could be a good place for this, far from legalism and rigid structures that Jesus criticized, but closer to God. I need to make it clear because of all the things I have to say are related with It.
• Secondly, I'm goth, it has been a reason why I feel alien in my current religious environment, the same where I was raised (it's an evangelical pentecostal conservative church, in fact), if they discover it they could acuse me of being astray, "worldly" or even involved with the devil or the occult (ironically, I see my style as a declaration against the rigid norms, but also as a devotional symbol of Memento Mori), I fear this alienation could also happen inside the quaker community but for a different reason, I've heard simplicity is a core value in quakerism and one of its main forms is the plain dress, I know most Friends today don't dress like the Quaker Oats guy, but, would goth style be considered contrary to these principles, my current style is very simple and casual (and I don't wear it always) because of external limitations, but I would like to wear more elaborated outfits, and during special ocassions for goth community I would like to wear romantic and victorian goth fashion (not as daily clothing), these styles sometimes can be really exccentric and elaborated and even expensive. I've heard many liberal quakers usually re-signify the concept of plain dress to something more political or social, but, as I said before, my approach is different, my question is, Could my style be accepted?
• Also, I want to know how Is the relationship between quakers and others denominations, Can I assist ocassionally to other churches because of curiosity or invitations? Can I get baptized and participate from eucharist outside of Friends community, I know Friends don't use sacraments but, What if I personally want to participate of these sacraments as a part of my personal spiritual way? And also, if I fall in love with a non-quaker, Could I marry her?
• Other important question I have is, Do you have to being an activist and participate in partisan politics to be a quaker? I know about its historical activism against slavery and that many non-christian Friends are here more because of political and social pruposes than spiritual ones, but personally I'm fed up with the promotion of politics, agendas and "culture wars" in church from both sides, conservative and liberal (my current church promotes conservative politics and it makes me feel strange, e.g: I would like to get married but, if this happens, I would like to have an equal bilateral relationship with my wife and never have children, but in my church is promoted Christians have to get married, men should be above women and they have to want children) and I don't fit into the left-right dicotomy, in adition, for me, "culture wars" are a big lie to divide society that don't beneficiate the people or the Gospel, but selfish politicians, and they made a great damage making a lot of people lost basic human decency, values, respect, tolerance and empaty, I would like to act que in favour of causes such as religious freedom (me, as a protestant, I'm a minority in my country, mostly roman catholic) and defense of mental health, but avoud partisanism completely, is it possible?
• And, finally, in my country and area there aren't so much quakers (I discovered in FWCC they exist but are very minor and I'm not sure if I would fit in these communities), so, I don't know what to do, how can I gather with others Friends and find my place?
I hope you can answer my doubts, I don't want to create a debate, just want guide, thanks in advance, cheers (and sorry if my english isn't very good, but it's not my native language 😅).