u/Victory__chaser1

I just wanted to share, my mom was a single mom and raised me skiing and snowboarding. While I can’t say it’s my passion and I prefer warmer weather, I’ve been blessed enough to do well in life and my career. We both now live in Florida I’m 29F married and she’s turning 70 and I couldn’t help but think this could be one of those trips that I remember long after she’s gone. She’s still physical and able and I don’t want to wait until something happens. Plus it’ll knock something off her bucket list.

So I did it… found a cool air bnb, I just booked the flights, it’s 6 months out next year and I’m going to surprise her with a fun surprise letter. I don’t love the cold but it’ll be beautiful skiing a wonderful memory with not only my mom but my husband as well. I figure this is why I work hard, to do cool things like this for those I love. If there’s any recommendations on Whitefish, please let me know!

I started my career in 1099 sales and eventually built a pretty successful company. There was never really such a thing as “vacation.” If I wasn’t working, it was because I chose not to answer my phone not because my brain actually shut off. As an owner, you’re always thinking about the business, and honestly, that’s just how I’m wired.

Eventually I sold the company and took a W-2 sales role to learn new skills, and break into the utility-scale market. On paper, it was the responsible move.
Now I’m taking my first real summer vacation in three years, technically on PTO, and I can’t stop checking my email.

I’m thinking about deals that need to close, projects moving forward, my quota, my pipeline, and providing for my family. But there’s another layer of stress I never had as an owner: someone else ultimately controls whether I have a job tomorrow.

So instead of relaxing, I’m more stressed because I’m not supposed to be working, but I also feel like I can’t afford not to.

Ironically, I had less security as a 1099 salesperson, but I felt more in control. If I sold, I got paid. If I didn’t, I didn’t. It was entirely on me, and I trusted myself to figure it out.

Now I have all the same pressure to perform, plus the reality that even if I do everything right, someone else can still decide my job is gone.

Maybe this is just how high-performing salespeople are wired, but “PTO” and generous vacation policies don’t mean much when your income, your pipeline, and your livelihood never really stop.

All I have been thinking my entire vacation is: How do I get back to working for myself ASAP? Does anyone else feel this way?

I need some perspective because I’m wondering if I’m being hypocritical. 29F with 31M husband.

I’ve always said I don’t want kids. The older I get, though, the more I realize that’s not entirely accurate. I don’t think I have a desire for a baby or young children.

I’m not really comfortable around babies, toddlers, or little kids. I fully understand what being a good parent requires, and honestly, the thought of waking up every few hours, caring for someone who can’t communicate with words, and being responsible for a tiny human who is completely dependent on me sounds overwhelming and, if I’m honest, not enjoyable.

I grew up as an only child with a single mom. I spent a lot of time alone. While I didn’t always appreciate it as a kid, I’ve come to realize how much I value peace, quiet, and independence. I adore my husband and have a wonderful marriage, but I still crave alone time. The idea that I’d essentially never have that again except in small glimpses for years honestly sounds depressing to me.

I told my mom when I was 11 that I didn’t think I wanted to be a parent. To her credit, she was completely supportive and still is.

Here’s where it gets confusing.

Since I was about 18, I’ve had a very strong desire to adopt an older child someday something like 11-17 years old. I know that sounds contradictory given everything I just said.

But when I think about kids in foster care or group homes who have spent years waiting for a family, something in me feels called to that. I want to be the person who gives them stability, love, family, opportunities, vacations, education, and a support system they may have never had. When I say it feels like a calling, I genuinely mean it.

So am I a hypocrite?

I’m completely aware that adopting an older child would be much harder in some ways because of trauma, attachment issues, or difficult life experiences. But I’ve done a lot of work healing from my own childhood trauma, and I feel like I could genuinely help someone build a different future.

My husband had a much more normal upbringing than I did. Ideally, he’d prefer to have a biological child, but he’s open to foster care or adoption if we ultimately decide not to have our own.

The more I think about biological children, the more I feel like it’s a much bigger ask of women than men, especially in the early years. My husband is wonderful, but pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and so much of the day-to-day infant care would inevitably fall more heavily on me.

And honestly? The things that make me uncomfortable are the pregnancy, baby, and infant stages not the idea of mentoring, guiding, loving, and supporting a young person.

Has anyone else felt this way?

29F I’m extremely proud of myself today.
As of this morning, I’ve officially paid off $47,325 of debt since January and eliminated all of my bad debt completely.

About 2.5 years ago, I sold my equity stake in a startup I helped build and decided to go all in on myself. Things didn’t work out the way I planned. I learned some very expensive lessons and ended up nearly $100K in debt within 6 months of buying my first home.

So I went back to basics.
I’m in sales by trade, so I did what I knew how to do: worked harder, sold more, stayed disciplined, and kept going even when it felt overwhelming. My industry has long payout cycles, so even after I technically “earned” enough to clear the debt, I had to wait months for commissions to actually hit.

Today, a big one finally came through, and I was able to pay off the last $12K.

Done. Free.

And before anyone says it… yes, I know there are ways people “game” debt or avoid paying things back. But I spent the money, so in my mind, I owed it. I care a lot about operating with integrity, and honestly I think that mindset is part of why I’ve been successful in my career.

This whole experience reminded me that:
discipline beats motivation
mistakes don’t define you
you can recover from almost anything if you stay consistent long enough

Now I finally get to focus on goals I actually care about, like paying down my mortgage and building wealth the right way. Just wanted to share because a couple years ago this felt impossible.