Got wrist locked twice this month…
I’m a white belt (zero stripes) woman 37F who’s been training bjj for about 9 months now. I enjoy the sport, I trained Muay Thai predominantly throughout my 20s and still do 1-2x a week at the same gym, but also train bjj 2x a week. I wish I could train more but family obligations keep me away. I’m the only mom and also older woman that trains currently at my gym (not sure if that’s relevant). My kids also train at this same gym. I’m not very good at bjj, am slow to pick up the technique but I try hard and have noticed some small improvement.
Anyway, I’m at a small gym. I’m frequently the only or one of 2 women there. Currently the only white belt woman. Sometimes there are 3-5 women there a night but it’s rare. Due to my schedule I’m only there on gi nights and we have about 5-10 people max.
Twice this month I rolled with a man that I’ve rolled with before and a higher belt. One was blue and one was purple (who’s also a frequent assistant teacher for the kids, including mine). And twice now, as we’re having a productive roll where I was already submitted once (it’s fine because I’m obviously not as good as they are) and I feel like we’re in a good flow - the man grabs my hand out of nowhere where I’m trying to grab his gi collar and rips the wrist lock. Both times I screamed from pain and stopped the roll at that immediate time and couldn’t continue the roll or roll with anyone else that night. Like I literally felt like I blanked from the pain and couldn’t move after until I recovered a minute or so later. I don’t know if it’s because I have weak bad wrists or can’t handle the pain of these but this is literally the first submission I’ve ever experienced where I’m frozen by the pain and can’t function for a little bit after.
The first man acted surprised that I responded like that and apologised. Haven’t seen him since. And the other one (purple belt teacher) also acted surprised but then didn’t say anything while I recovered and then just fist bumped me when I left to get my gear (and pack up for the night). My wrist still felt “off” that whole evening.
What’s my best approach in this scenario? I was genuinely shocked physically and mentally with this submission during both the rolls with both men that I’ve rolled with before and thought I trusted. Usually I find the submissions by higher levels are fairly gradual at my level, giving me opportunity to tap. This time it was so shocking and excruciating with no opportunity at all to tap and it just ended the roll time for me right then and there.
Should I work on my endurance for wrist locks? Avoid rolling with both of them (which is tough because we’re a small gym)? Accept that this is part of the game and just roll anticipating wrist locks come from anywhere?
I have to admit that as a result of both these painful experiences I’m feeling reluctant to continue to train and like I’m not super in love with the sport anymore. Silly, I know.
Anyway; sorry for the long rant. Advice appreciated with anyone who’s experienced this.
Edit: not sure if it’s relevant but in the 9 months I’ve trained nobody has ever done this submission on me before and our head instructor didn’t teach it in any of the gi classes I’ve attended. Our classes are combined for both newbies and advanced. So it wasn’t like the “move of the day” that they were trying or anything. Which I think added extra to my shock and surprise because the only reason I even knew what happened to me with this submission was due to Reddit threads/ bjj Instagram reels.