u/Virtual-Jacket-3736

Well, today was supposed to be a do nothing day after having the kids Prom night last night. The kids all came back to the house for a couple hours after before sending the boys home and letting the girls crash.

Well, dude decided to smuggle some nips of cheap booze downstairs and proceed to get himself obliterated and started puking into a trash can. All I wanted to do was go to bed, it's 1230 of night 6🙄. Now I got to sober check the rest of these knuckleheads who all actually seemed fine. Stuffed them into some Ubers and sent them on their way. But now I gotta drive dickhead home 3 towns over and deliver him to his sleeping father at 115am. The boob lost his house key and had to scream out front to wake his dad up to let him in. Dad comes to the door in his drawers See's him and lets him in, looks at me and says thanks I got it. I said reach out if you want the details, he's all yours now.

So bed at about 230. What a night.

Woke up or whatever you want to call it around 8 and said, I'm doing nothing today. Then I heard something in the driveway. Fuck! 7oh me ordered a God damn gazebo! Okay, I guess I will triumph over boredom today. The assembly instructions said 3 people, 3 hours😉. Well I've got 8 hours in by myself and I've got the 4 legs and lower frame built🤣. It's absolutely exhausting but it kept my mind occupied ALL day. Airpods in good music kicking and just trudged on until dark.

And that my friends was my do nothing day 7. Not exactly do nothing but I feel accomplished, completely and utterly demolished and exhausted. But accomplished. Push yourself hard to do small goals. It will start feeling good sooner the more you do and try. The gray haze will start to lift.

If you are reading this hopefully it's inspirational or you can live vicariously through my trials and tribulations until you have some strength of your own. Stay the course, you can do this. You'll start to feel better. So many people have been exactly where you are. Remember, The only way out is through.

God bless

Welp, six days behind me. I'm inside seven today. I think I slept about 6 hours sold but I'm not sure. My" lights out" cocktail of supliments has me waking groggy AF. I need to run to the store to get some Redbull. I kinda feel ok today, I have absolutely nothing that I need to do so zero pressure to motivate if I don't feel like it. I didn't wake up soaked in sweat at all today, so that's gotta be something good.

I don't know what today will bring or what I'll do today. Im sure there's some boring chores that need to be done. I know here and now, I will not be taking any 7 today, I'm still running on how disgusted I am with myself and that product to hold onto early sobriety. But I need to be careful using that feeling for too long, I know short term self loathing can lead to bouts of depression in a lot of people. Maybe I'll personify my addiction. He looks a lot like my local SS guy and has the same accent. That's what I'll do for now redirect.

Anyone reading this looking for positive vibes, stay the course. Each day is an improvement over the last, even if you don't feel like it is. Give your mind and body time. We've been riding it hard, taking it to"11" all the time for a long time and it's healing.

The only way out is through...then the real work- recovery works if you work it. Have a plan.

Tick-tock Prom countdown T-150 minutes

UPDATE- I've made it to intermission/halftime! Fuck me, I'm spent. Kid's are off in the limo, all the parents are gone and we've cleaned up. I have about 3 hours before the kids are back🙄. I knew that all the girls were coming back and spending the night downstairs, I did not know that my wonderful wife agreed to let all the boys hang until 1230😳. That means that I have to be the awkward nosey Dad popping downstairs for some unapparent reason every 15 minutes until then! If you All don't hear from me tomorrow, just wait longer, I've probably crashed clean out until Saturday... I'm on empty, I know tomorrow is going to fucking suck between PAWS and fatigue. God give me strength.

For those who have been following my transition, day 6, daughter's prom night, wife offered up our house for the limo pickup and pictures and I agreed months ago when social me existed. Now I have 50 stranger parents coming to my house in a few hours and I am smoked from all the work I surprised myself with today. Cleaned the house, Hung the signs and banners, mowed the lawn and cleared up the pool. Fuuuck. Running on sickening amounts of redbull and protein bars.

I think her happiness is the only real thing fueling me but I'm holding that shit like it's the last piece of driftwood in the ocean and I'm drowning.

Home stretch- wife sent me out a few times and I cruised right past that SS. No seven, I ain't going back, that was hard AF. Just got to hold up for a few more hours and get these people out of my house so I can hopefully crash.

Wish me luck team! We got this LFG!

Yesterday was ok. Had to go out for a few different trips, grocery store and a couple errands. Man that was exhausting. Got angry and emotional right before bed and blew up on my wife. I've got to fix that today. She's been my rock and I shouldn't take my frustrations out on her. I said some shitty stuff. Like some Denzel Washington ,Training day type shit.

Just got up a little while ago. I think I slept ok, I can't really tell. Woke up soaked in sweat. But I'm groggy as hell from my pile of sleep supliments I've been stacking to catch some zzzzs. Today is the day I have to people. I've got about 50 folks coming over tonight and I could not be less interested. Appetite is up and down but I can force myself to eat without feeling like I'm going to be sick, so that's good. I'm just so tired, everything takes so much energy. Takes me twice as long to do anything.

Day 6 I got this. No 7 ,still feel like FTS FR right now and I'm using that feeling to keep pushing forward.

Wish me luck y'all, and if I can get this far, believe me, so can you- The only way out is through...

4.5 days behind me. I think I got some decent broken sleep last night. No major sweats and very minimal RLS. I'm hungry this morning, that's good.

Still not much for motivation but I know that's very mental- mind over matter. I think the worst has passed.

Today is the day I have to start to rebuild my healthy life and change those old Neuro pathways. I lived like this before 7, I can do it again... just need to remember how, how... I'll remember, just heavy brain fog but it will clear. I'm writing everything down because even my name is hard to get out of my mouth.

Wife has been supportive, in her own way. Had a very long and real talk with my 17 yo daughter about this shit. Tears and hugs from both sides. I hope my experience puts the fear of God in her. We are generational addicts babygirl and I'm sorry to burden you with this genetic curse. The only thing you can do is not activate it. Abstinence is the only safe way. We are descendants of Icarus- don't ever fly too close to the sun baby girl.

Right now, I feel mentally strong, no using but I know the test with be when I actually leave the house.

Not sure if this is helpful for anyone or just my personal verbal diarrhea. But if you are going CT and using these subs as support- hit that 72-96 hours mark you will start to change. Feel it, grab it and hold on to it and use it to get another 24.

God bless

Shouting out at the 72 hour mark! Still feel kinda lousy but I can feel a glimmer of hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully tomorrow I will turn the corner and I'm on the road to recovery.

I'm just kinda venting so I can look back at something solid to bring me back to this place I'm at here and now. My present.

Been beating myself up with this stuff for 8 months. Jumping off a solid 500-600mgd+ CT. Tried before a few times but ran back around 10 days out. Can't even explain why. Trying the lipoC megadose protocol to the letter this time and for me, it has been a night and day difference. Still cold sweaty and hot all together but the RLS has actually been sort of manageable. Had a little bit more energy than before but no appetite and sleeping is a joke. And why does everything smell like musty garbage ( myself included)?

Some history- was hooked on ocs years ago when it first hit the scene. That escalated to H then inpatient rehab. Got out, quit my job got a new phone and moved. Sober by aversion. Over the years, I'd take a few perks here or there but never really getting back into active addiction, just playing with fire. at some point, I started drinking heavily. Enough to put me back in a 30 day inpatient and IOP. I'm coming up on my 5 year medallion for alcohol and still haven't touched nor want a drink but feel guilty AF if I walk up there and accept it knowing what I know.

Then I found 7oh months ago. Heard about it on the local news and was like " I need to see what this is all about". Just like a true addict. The first 20 mg tab shook me and less than 3 hours later I was back at the shop buying 20mg 10 packs. Then 2k 50s. And that's where I've been living for the last 8 months. I wish I never had saw that news clip cuz the addict in me spoke right up - go head man, it's legal, you can't get in trouble. You've been down that road, you know better, just a taste to check out the hype.

Well, play with fire and get burned. I hope to only ever come back here to write messages of support for others and not have to relive this moment again unless it's just me reading this back to myself some dark day to keep myself from picking up again.