Wife with PMDD not hearing me
Hey everyone. My wife is in therapy and has recently been diagnosed with PMDD. However during a event episode she became particularly distant and last night we were out with friends and as we were driving home I made a frustrated comment about another driver on the road (we live in Atlanta). And she immediately became agitated and stated how I complain a lot.
Now, I'll admit I can get irritated in traffic, but who doesn't? And yeah sure I complain about a long day at work, but who doesn't? My point is, is that my wife seems to completely overlook how she treats me. Every little thing is a massive meltdown.
THE MEAT OF IT ALL
The overarching issue is that when I bring up how she makes me feel, she dismisses it altogether, and will often point a finger back at me instead of just hearing me. My wife has had significant struggles in life, we both have. But, this is wearing me down so much.
I feel like the goalpost is always moving. Nothing is ever good enough. Emotionally, I don't know up from down anymore. And last night when we got home we sat on the couch and discussed everything, but I never once felt that she truly heard me. I told her all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and love her for exactly who she is. And I do. But she can't seem to believe it. Her mind seems to think everything is a trick or a lie or something. And to add even more complexity, when I brought up her PMDD (not accusatory, but fact), she immediately said "I don't have that."
I was in awe because she was just diagnosed about a month ago. So between her not being open to her medical condition, unresolved trauma and their respective effects on our relationship, I'm at a loss.
I love my wife. Not if ands or buts. I'm just struggling to find solid ground right now. I'm thankful she is in therapy, but I'm wondering if she is receptive to the therapy and medication. They don't prepare you for this 😞