u/Visible-Most1240

My husband has been struggling with severe anxiety, panic, and almost complete insomnia for months. Recently, things became much worse.
A few days ago, I found a note he had written. In it, he said he wants to leave our home. He wrote that living together has become too overwhelming for him, that he feels trapped by responsibilities, and that he misses the freedom and solitude he had before we got married. He even wrote that having a wife who is 7 months pregnant makes him feel even more guilty because he knows he should stay, but part of him wants to run away.
The hardest part is that he has also told me these things face to face. He says he needs to be alone sometimes, that he struggles with routine and responsibility, and that home feels heavy on his chest. At the same time, he says he doesn’t want to make a final decision right now because he wants to see if treatment helps first.
Last night he came over, tried to stay with me, but couldn’t sleep. He had a severe panic attack, crying and repeating, “I’m scared” over and over again. Eventually, I sent him to his parents’ house because he felt safer there.
I’m exhausted and heartbroken. Part of me wonders if these thoughts are coming from his current mental state, but another part of me is terrified that this is how he truly feels—that he simply doesn’t want this life anymore and only stays because of guilt.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Can severe anxiety, panic, depression, or prolonged insomnia make someone genuinely want to escape their family and responsibilities? If treatment helped, did those feelings change over time, or were they actually signs that the relationship itself wasn’t what they wanted?
I’m not looking for a diagnosis. I’m just trying to understand whether anyone has been through something like this—either personally or while supporting someone they love.

I’m currently 27 weeks pregnant with our first baby, and the last few weeks have been the hardest period of our lives.
My husband and I have been together for about a year and a half. When we first met, I knew he struggled with anxiety, but I had no idea how severe it could become. Over time, little by little, his symptoms became more noticeable. Looking back, I can see that this has been building for a long time.
He’s been under psychiatric care for years and has taken different psychiatric medications throughout that time. Unfortunately, when his anxiety becomes unbearable, he sometimes changes medications or adjusts doses on his own because he’s desperately looking for something that will make him feel normal again.
One of the medications he took daily for about five years was clonazepam. He gradually tapered off under medical supervision and has now been off it for about three months. I honestly don’t know whether his current condition is related to stopping clonazepam, his underlying anxiety disorder, or a combination of both.
Right now, his biggest problem is sleep.
As soon as he lies down, overwhelming anxiety begins. He feels pressure in his chest, tension in his head, and says he simply cannot relax, no matter how exhausted he is. He gets out of bed repeatedly throughout the night, walks around the house, moves between rooms, lies down for a few minutes, then gets back up again. Some nights he barely sleeps at all.
During the day he is emotionally devastated. He cries, says he feels like he’s losing himself, and constantly worries that he’ll never be able to be the husband or father he wants to be. One thing he told me that broke my heart was, “I’m afraid our baby will be born and I won’t be able to truly be there because of this.”
His anxiety has become so severe that he can’t even stay comfortably in our apartment. He says he feels trapped here, even though he repeatedly tells me it has nothing to do with me. He recently moved to his parents’ house because he hoped he might sleep there. He actually seems to rest a little better there, but it has left me alone during one of the most vulnerable periods of my life.
We’ve tried everything we can think of. He’s seeing a psychiatrist, recently restarted psychotherapy, and we even spent an entire night waiting to see a neurologist because he became so desperate. The neurologist encouraged him to continue therapy, exercise, improve his daily routine, and prescribed additional treatment for sleep. Despite all of this, every day still feels like a struggle.
I’m exhausted too. I’m trying to keep working, prepare for our baby, support him emotionally, and hold our family together. I love him deeply, and I know he’s suffering. I don’t blame him for being ill—but I also feel incredibly alone and scared.
Has anyone experienced something similar?
Severe anxiety that completely destroys sleep.
Feeling unable to stay at home because anxiety becomes overwhelming.
Years of psychiatric medication with frequent medication changes.
Recovery after reaching such a low point.
I’m not looking for a diagnosis. I’m looking for hope, experiences, or advice from people who have been through something similar—either personally or while supporting someone they love.
Thank you for reading. It truly means a lot.