a late night drunken rambling
every being suffers immeasurably from beginningless time
i've suffered and continue to suffer
minute after minute, hour after hour
from all the loss i've experienced,
all the loved ones i've lost,
all the things i've done in failed efforts to benefit others,
which have been crushed and destroyed,
all the things i've done in a fake hope of being a bodhisattva who could actually help others,
all that has ended in failure.
even so, for every being wallowing in suffering,
every being i have even had a random glimpse of,
a random hearing of,
even those most think would be dirty,
the beings i've seen fucking from my insatiable lust for porn,
the beings i've seen displaying themselves for fame and wealth...
and now i'm rambling and it's not from the heart,
because i'm not enlightened and have no realization to speak of.
what i do want to speak of is the desire to free every single sentient being from suffering,
no matter how long it takes,
no matter how much they harm me,
no matter how difficult they are,
no matter how long it takes, because it will take so long.
until the end of time,
may I remain, no matter how much it makes me suffer,
until not a single shred of suffering remains for any single sentient being.