u/Wa7edMasry

Avoidants are MASTERS at switching how they feel, and if they have a bit of hard time, they find something to watch, pick a new hobby, post online for attention seeking, dating apps, go out every single weekend on dates, to clubs, out with friends and so much more that they literally can't sit with their feelings.

They absolutely love one night stands, we need to remember also that we are not their first victims, or last victims, we are a number on their list of exes or hookups, they were perfectly fine (according to their idea of perfectly fine that is powered by delusions and distractions) before us and they are perfectly fine after us, if they EVER miss us, they would just miss what we offered, not us, and it will be for a couple of days then they go back to filling their schedules with all kinds of things.

They are incapable of feeling miserable for long periods, that is the whole point, there is no justice, there is no karma, they will live and die with a smile on their faces because no matter what happens they are extremely unlikely to face their wrongdoings and the people they lost, you may call it fake happiness but to them fake and real happiness are the same.

They don't care what is real and fake, all happiness to them is happiness and sadness is something they rather die than face. Even regret, they literally do not believe in regrets, because regret is enemy of happiness and that is an absolute no-no. They mostly will get away with it all, only very few of them actually don't, life is never fair and it never will be

I keep seeing people trying to make it seem like avoidants run away cause they feel they do not deserve love and are scared of being loved, but the truth is, and I think most of us saw for ourselves, is that they leave because they get tired of the PRESSURE of having to be consistent and give time and effort and all that comes with being in a relationship.

They call it choosing their peace and regaining their freedom. They can only be consistent for first few months or even couple of years until they get used to you and the dopamine you give them is no longer as exciting as it was and then they find that putting in constant effort and love to keep you is no longer worth it so they chase a new exciting mysterious supply that they have fun exploring and sleeping with as it would be all different from how you are.

A new person with new traits, new flaws, new physical look, new quirks, new hobbies, new sex style and performance, everything so exciting to discover and then they would be very willing to give ALL the effort and time in this world to them like they gave you before they no longer could cause it was "no longer worth it" to them as you outlasted your "sparks and butterflies in tummy" stage to them

If you gladly enjoy being an avoidant and never see yourself as the problem and never try to fix your toxicity, I hope you never have a good day in your life. Your boohoo childhood trauma is no excuse to use and abuse others then throw them away. Take accountability for your actions and choices, like a normal human with actual human heart and actual human soul. Have a bad day, in fact, have a horrible day. Hope you choke on your saliva

My ex discarded me and had no problem breaking my heart and being mean and all that, but before that she spent nearly 2 years obsessed with me, extremely happy to have even little time with me, she would reply to texts within seconds, always miss me, miss me so bad every second of every day, sends me long morning texts often, telling me how much she loves me and appreciates me, even long texts randomly through the day praising me and saying how lucky she is to have me and how amazing I make her feel. She would literally never bother me, never get mad, she would gladly do anything and everything if it would make me happy. Basically she was giving all of her time and effort to make sure I'm happy, that was all she ever wanted, no matter what it takes and what she needs to do, having nearly no regard to herself, as long as I'm happy she would be happy. And in a perfect world, that would be more than perfect for me, I surely did not let her be the one doing everything for me I did the same and more for her. I did not just be on the recieving end and abuse her generosity. She was actually too in love that she said she would have gladly worshipped me if it was possible, and she was dead serious. This was not "her potential" , she was like she exists in this world just to make me happy for nearly 2 years, 90% atleast of it, consistently. She did do it, all of it, without being pushed to it or any manipulation or me asking, endless compliments, endless praising, endless I love you, endless I miss you, endless long texts, never tired or bored of me, always deeply happy for even smallest gestures from me. Then of course it all became nearly non existent, along with actually being mean even, too cold, insulting, disregard to hurt feelings, disregard to any reasoning or begging or reminding her of her words before, or showing any proof or screenshots of her love or regret for her first discard, after she came back and begged for me, hoping I still have love for her. Just sees it all and says it is funny, and that she would never regret again or say any of those loving things or sorry again, that she knows very well what she is doing and is extremely sure, even going as far as saying she would be happy to finally completely lose me forever. She was not perfect, she was more than perfect, until she became my worst nightmare. How can someone ever move on from this? Your best ever partner and your worst ever partner being the very same person

I know many of you keep saying that according to stories you hear , personally experiencing it or theoretically speaking, avoidants should eventually get karma for what they do to others. However in my case, she discarded me making me the problem, also I spiraled cause of it so now she thinks 10000% I'm the bad guy so her ever feeling guilt for what she did to me is near impossible. Also my avoidant ex is pretty and is very sexually attractive, guys drool over her, even handsome and rich guys. She is also easy going, whether you are rich and handsome or average both ways you still have an equal chance of taking her out on a date as a stranger and also taking her to bed on the very first date or second date AT MOST, noone ever took longer than that, and that is according to her and her many stories she told me personally, genuine facts about her. So how is a girl with a million option, all kinds of men pursuing her, all at the tips of her fingers waiting for her approval, supposed to ever get karma? Like I can understand it with avoidant guys where they are not as pursued and not with as many options but a girl that is attractive, hot, easy going, would ever sit down with her guilt and shame? I can't just lie to myself and say she will get it sooner or later just to make myself feel better, and the lack of justice or even a genuine apology that I probably will never get, either of them, not in a million years, makes me always have that sinking feeling in my stomach and deep sadness and void in my heart

I know many of you keep saying that according to stories you hear , personally experiencing it or theoretically speaking, avoidants should eventually get karma for what they do to others. However in my case, she discarded me making me the problem, also I spiraled cause of it so now she thinks 10000% I'm the bad guy so her ever feeling guilt for what she did to me is near impossible. Also my avoidant ex is pretty and is very sexually attractive, guys drool over her, even handsome and rich guys. She is also easy going, whether you are rich and handsome or average both ways you still have an equal chance of taking her out on a date as a stranger and also taking her to bed on the very first date or second date AT MOST, noone ever took longer than that, and that is according to her and her many stories she told me personally, genuine facts about her. So how is a girl with a million option, all kinds of men pursuing her, all at the tips of her fingers waiting for her approval, supposed to ever get karma? Like I can understand it with avoidant guys where they are not as pursued and not with as many options but a girl that is attractive, hot, easy going, would ever sit down with her guilt and shame? I can't just lie to myself and say she will get it sooner or later just to make myself feel better, and the lack of justice or even a genuine apology that I probably will never get, either of them, not in a million years, makes me always have that sinking feeling in my stomach and deep sadness and void in my heart

I would give everything I have in this world for a chance to discard her and tell her to go to hell. I forgave her too many times, I was going to leave her and give her all her space and peace but she literally begged for 3 days for me to not leave her and talk to her again, came back crawling for me to not finally give her all the space she kept asking for after discarding me twice and coming back twice. Yet I felt bad for her begging, cause surprise surprise, I'm not ruthless and heartless like her, and still talked to her again, for her to finally put all the pieces in place to fully convince herself I'm not good for her and we need to never talk again and go feeling no guilt or anything. Fully enjoying her life now, ignoring me completely, surely proud of herself for making me the last one to "beg" instead of it being her as it was originally going to be if I wasn't so forgiving and with such soft spot for her. That is my biggest regret in all my life

Is there any way to make an avoidant respond to any of your emails after being blocked everywhere? Worst thing about emails is that you don't know if they even read them or they end up in spam or what. They are very ruthless with ignoring, even if you don't demand to be back together, just demand them to apologize for it all and make amends for better closure

It is really interesting how they are like badly written characters in a novel. Absolutely no character development, bad decisions after bad decisions, incapable of any normal human feelings or thought process. Just pure selfishness, that is it, that is all they are. Selfishness in its purest form, always running from any discomfort or consequenses, always looking for thrills and pleasures and enjoyable moments, no matter where it takes them or who they need to use to get the dopamine, they would gladly use every single human on earth for their satisfaction if they could, and they will never be burdened by it because they are devoid of any guilt or shame or remorse. It is like a purely evil villain, without being complex or having good and bad thoughts fighting inside him. Just very direct, all about me attitude, all about my comfort and my peace and my happiness, that is all, that is all there is to them

Some of the most amusing stuff avoidants say is that you are responsible for your feelings. When they hurt you they are not responsible for how you feel and that you should grow up and take control of your own life and feelings and stop blaming others (Them basically) for your life and what you go through. They actually get turned off by your hurt feelings and sadness that was apparently caused by their own words and actions, simply act like it is non of their fault and business and the entire blame is on you for being such an emotional wreck when you can simply just be more powerful and control whatever you feel. They literally treat emotions like an easy switch that is completely your choice and under your full control and is all yours to be blamed for. They really need to be punishable by law honestly, absolute crimes against humanity they commit. Even an AI would be more humane than them

My child made accidental purchases worth 150$, what can I do quickly to remedy this?