u/WandererEvermore

I noticed something new today while meditating and doing SATS. I was in that slightly drowsy state not quite sleep, since my mind stayed active but I could slip in and out of sensing my surroundings. Several times I played with it deliberately: letting my arms fade from feeling, letting the sounds around me disappear. Each time, I’d bring my awareness back to just… being. Once I even deliberately moved my arm to make sure I wasn’t sleeping. I’ve been trying to focus more on developing vividness in my imagination and just getting in touch with my “I amness.”

Has anyone else experienced this before? I’ve been delving deeper into his teachings and lectures but have not come across this sort of thing as of yet or found any good answers on the internet. I’m guessing this might be more akin to the void state or detachment into formless awareness. It was just a very new and exciting experience. As a result, I wanted to post the question to the community about anyone else’s experience.

I’m about two years into Neville’s teachings and have had some real wins along the way. I’ve manifested a few professional certifications and a new house. My lessons were more along the lines of self-awareness and spiritual growth. One was a job opportunity that looked like a slam dunk on paper, but I couldn’t genuinely see myself in the role, and it even made me question what I actually want to do. The other was the house itself. I thought settling somewhere that felt like a compromise was acceptable, and it turns out it wasn’t. I’m now preparing to sell it.

All that said, I’m struggling a bit right now. I have a strong desire to relocate abroad and make a significant career change. I know where I want to go and what I want to do, but I keep getting stuck on how I’m approaching it. I’ve been working both angles at once, focusing on smaller stepping-stone desires while also holding the larger vision, and somewhere in the middle of that I think I’ve started overwhelming myself and slipping into trying to control outcomes rather than living in the end.

So the question I keep coming back to is: is it better to narrow your focus to one thing, or is holding multiple desires at once okay as long as you’re genuinely living from the end?

My gut says the answer is to trust my I AM-ness, stay in the feeling of it being done, and let go of the how. But I’d love to hear if anyone else has been in this spot and what shifted for you.