Did he try and groom me?
Hello there, first thing first I had o idea where to post this I just needs to get it off my chest and this was the first subreddit I though of. And second: Enlglish is not my first languese and im dyslexic so im sorry for any wrong grammar och spellings. (fake names real ages)
So....
For some backstoery (I can litterally hear Charlottes SET THE SEAN lol) Im a minor and my whole life I have been really menatlly unstable and have Deppressive eppisodes where it have gotten so bad i have tried and kms hihi. (I have Audhd and really bad anxiety). So that in mind I really do not know who I am and think the best of everyone (people pleaser). Anyway, lets start :)
When this happend I was 14 soon 15 years old, it was 6 months ago. I had had a deppressive eppisode and was overall really lost in life, I had just gotten my Autism diagnosis and was trying to figure out who I was without "the mask" (I basically have multipple personalitys depends on who Im with so i dont know who *I* am). At the same time some of my friends had just starting drinking (we live in Europe so yhe), and if you wonder why thats important let me just say peer pressure (I did not drink ANYTRHING but the surroindengs).
I was on this app where you facetime with people from everywhere and swipe when you wanna go to the next one (dont remeber the name sorry), on there I met this man we call him Timmy (somewhere around 23-26years old) from Uganda. We talked a bit (he talked I answered to be polite and when I said i had to go he told me to stay I think dont really remember nut something about that), but then he asked for my number. I said no because I dont give out my number to people I dont know (trauma) but he keept asking and after some time the stupid people pleesing in me said okay and gave it to him. We said by and I didnt really think more about it.
The next day I got a message on whatsapp from Timmy. Something like:
"Hello, Im Timmy youknow we talked yesterday are you \*my name\*? (heart emoji)". i answered and there it started. We talked for a while, all ormal he was polite, he told me about hes dead mom and siblings and that he didnt hav any money so he hadnt gone to school. Then he asked me what I liked to do (normal) and I said dance and acting, then he asked if I could send a ideo of me dancing (weird?), I feelt uncomftrable and said that I didnt really know but in the end I did send a video of me dancing (jazz btw). He said something like:
"Your beautiful (said that alot) love your moves your amazing at dancing".
I got really happy because I really needed to hear that and said thank you. Nothing weird happened in a while but then he asked where I lived. Like what countrie and I said what countrie I live in (one of the nordics), and he asked alot about the countrie and I answered. Then he asked if he could come and visit and I said something like:
"You can come vissit \*the countrie\* its really beutiul but you cant live at our house"
Then he answered like "but I wanna meet you" and we went a bit back and forth a bit (I did say we maybe could meet up or he could just come visit anyway its a really pretty countrie).
I dont remember how this converstation ended but Ill tell you guys the next and last wird think he said before I told a teacher and ended up almost gong to a mentall hospital.
He asked me if I liked someone and I said yes (I had a beautifyl partner, both virgins). Then he asked if I wanted to send him pictures (I imeadietly got flashbacks) I said NO but then he asked if I wanted HIM to send pictures (more flascbacks yay) I also said NO and that Im not intrested in him (he said he was in me) and that its pretty weird becuse he is like a decade older than me and Im a minor. He said the thing I remember the most and thats when the red flags clicked for me:
"But age is just a number".
I obisusly said no and told him we probably sshould stop talking but then he satrted asking if I could set him up with one of my freinds and started asking about there relationships and stuff. I said NO and to please stop talking to me. He said okay but that he was sad and I feelt really bad but thats whe I decided to show my teacher and told he about it.
Now for the reason I almost got sent to a phyc ward when I told my techer:
The thing is, during all this it almost feelt like it was another person insiode of me who wrote to him and not ME I dont know how to explain but you can see what I mean n the texts. I really dont know how to explain but I have had scary and really uncommfretble fnatasies my whole life tell me if you want to know more about that. I just feel like a phycopath and I ABSOLUTLY HATE HATE HATE HATE IT AND THE FANTASIES I DONT WANT THEM I HATE THEM, sorry.
I feel bad for blocking him because he had gone through so much with his mom and no school and everythinga dn he was verry polite and nice. I just feel really bad but at the same time a part of me sees the red flags. Its just like one second I feel bad and the second I kinda hate him. I dont know I just need to know if Im crazy or he acually had bad intewntions.
So am I Overreacting or did he have bad intentions?
Hav a lovely day :D