Please be kind
Bear with me as this may be long but I desperately need some advice or neutral outside opinions. Iv just found out I’m 4w pregnant with baby number 7. In December I had a very early termination which I regretted deeply despite it being the ‘right’ decision. From a realistic, practical, logical perspective there is absolutely no reason for me to have another child. Yet my heart and soul screamed that it was wrong. I willed this ‘accident’ to happen. I wanted another chance, a redo, I didn’t want my memory of my last pregnancy to be that. Now that it’s really happening I’m full of panic. I definitely cannot go through another termination I swore I would never do it again. I thought getting pregnant would make me feel better but the guilt is even worse. I realise how utterly irresponsible and selfish I am. I feel so guilty for this little life inside me that I created for all the wrong reasons. I haven’t even told my partner, he’s aware my period is late but doesn’t know Iv done a test. He doesn’t want more. Oh what have I done