r/ParentingInBulk

We have a 10 month old and will be adding two more babies to our family by the end of the year. My husband would prefer me on birth control (though he acknowledges it is my choice), but I am hesitant. We both agree (though I know it can change) that we want more kids in the future. I don’t know how many kids I want in total, but he would ideally like 5. I just know my family isn’t complete yet. I am leaning on not going on birth control, and just letting whatever happens happen, but am i being completely insane? Financially, money isn’t the issue, emotional and mental capacity is. We have a full time nanny (part time now, will be full time in August) and I am a stay at home mom, so I feel like if i get pregnant it will be manageable because I will have a second pair of hands helping me, but am I being delusional? Would 4u3 be a terrible idea if thats how things played out? Would love any advice anyone has on the matter

Where is the best place for an American citizen to move to in order to afford having 6+ kids without living in a backwards country or lower my standard of living?

I'm open to Eastern Europe and parts of Asia.

I often rely on “this too shall pass” to help me with a positive parenting mindset - the bad times are a phase so don’t stress, the good times are a fleeting moment so savor them.

But I’m currently 37 weeks pregnant with an almost 3 year old and a 20 month old and I’m kind of miserable.

My husband and I are tired, its too hot to do anything, and even if it wasn’t, I can’t be on my feet for too long and the pelvic pain is brutal (yes have been working with a PFT). So we end up staying inside, piddling around the house, and trading off 1-2 hour shifts. When it’s my “break” time I either sleep or scroll on my phone.

Our boys are overall pretty good, especially with independent play, but the toddler emotions and toy fighting is overstimulating. The days have been mind numbing and I’m counting down the hours until daycare on Monday.

It makes me feel horrible bc I love our family so much but I haven’t been able to experience family time above survival mode (at best) for awhile. Having boy 3 in a few weeks simultaneously feels like a light at the end of the tunnel and a whole new form of darkness that we’ll have to navigate through for who knows how long. I want to start karate for our oldest, take them to the pool, DO something, enjoy time together but between the heat and my being beat up by pregnancy (soon to be newborn survival), it feels so impossible and so far away.

Maybe this is a vent or looking for commiseration but I genuinely don’t see myself as this time of miserable mom in the big picture. Tips or advice to make it through difficult seasons like this (that feel like they have no end in sight)?

have 4 kiddos 6 and under… can’t shake the feeling sometimes about one more seat at the table. I’m hoping to hear experiences of those with older kids. how do you balance schedules? is 4 vs 5 really that significant?

Birthday party invites when you have 3+ kids - how do you do it, when only one kid is invited?

Some of these parties are 30-45 min from our house and it's a struggle to plan for one parent to watch the other 3 and a parent to take the invited child by themselves.

Usually I just decline unless they're a close friend. Sometimes I ask if siblings are welcome and I offer to pay separately to bring at least one sibling if it's a venue that caps the number of guests.

Just curious how other parents handle it. I'm sure there isn't one right way. Recently my 5 year old got 3 invites from kids at her Pre-K and I'm trying to figure out how we can make it work.. or if we just decline.

(My kids are 8, 5, 2, newborn for context)

Does anyone have (or know anyone that has) 4 kids where the first 3 were all the same gender? We have 3 daughters and while at this point another girl would actually be logistically simpler, we keep finding ourselves thinking about how sweet it would be to welcome a boy into the fam!

Anyone in here have 3 girls and a boy or the inverse? Just looking for some evidence that it does in fact happen!! lol

Also.. we'd be over the moon to add a 4th girl to the fam! There won't be any gender disappointment for us either way!

We'll be finding out the gender at the anatomy scan! Currently in the 1st trimester :)

The title should be “What did you still need to buy for the third (or fourth or fifth etc) baby?

Just wondering what, if anything, you still needed to buy even after having multiple babies in a row. Obviously diapers, wipes, car seats, and clothes, but anything that you felt like you got away without for the first two or so, but decided to spring for once you had more?

- For example, I hate our high chair and I was just dealing with it, but now that we’re having more, I feel like I need to get one I like, so I added that to my registry.

- Wonderfold wagon, for obvious reasons.

- New wipe warmer. I had been getting by with a secondhand one that always had the nightlight feature on, which was annoying when I wanted it to be dark.

I'm curious to hear from anyone who's had second, third, fourth (or more!) pregnancies, especially if they were really close together. in terms of how did your body changed compared to the first pregnancy (especially bump, skin changes)
I had my first baby 6 months ago, and we're planning to start trying again in about 1–2 months. Thankfully, I bounced back pretty quickly—I’m already back to my pre-pregnancy weight and my body looks pretty much the same as before. My first pregnancy was also very easy overall, and even on the day I gave birth I only looked about 6 months pregnant.
I've always heard that with each pregnancy, especially back-to-back ones, you tend to show much earlier and your bump gets bigger. I'm wondering if that's inevitable or if your core strength makes any difference.

For those of you who had pregnancies close together:

Did you show earlier the second (or third/fourth) time?

Was your bump noticeably bigger?

Did you do any core/deep core/TVA or pelvic floor exercises before getting pregnant again?

If so, do you feel it made any difference in how soon you showed or how your bump looked?

I know every pregnancy is different, but I'd love to hear real experiences from moms who've been through back-to-back pregnancies!

I had 2 preteens to start out when I started having babies again.

We were gifted a single child jogger by my husband’s foreman. Totally unexpected but so seriously appreciated. That was nice but then I got pregnant again and it was kind of bulky. So I also got an umbrella stroller for quicker trips.

And then I had that baby. Just babywore. I also had 3 different devices for babywearing…

Pregnant again.

Mind you — I don’t spend money on myself. I just don’t care to. Baby stuff though? 🤪

Wearing a baby and pushing a stroller and going to OB appointments didn’t make any sense because I was pregnant again…

So I found a 2nd hand Joovy Caboose with all the addons. A triple stroller. It was amazing. I would smash my kids into the walls of my OB office on accident. Oops.

And now I’m pregnant again. I just explained to my husband a few days ago that it makes more sense to just purchase a wagon because it’s not 5ft long and easier to navigate. So now I’m getting a 4 seater wagon because I’m pregnant again.

Lmao. 4u4. I have a single jogger, an umbrella, a 3 seater stroller, the 4 seater wagon, and 3 different babywearing devices.

Hi, my son(13 months old) and lately I've been wondering whether we should have a second child.

Both my spouse and I work full-time, so his grandmother is the one who looks after him most of the day. She's amazing with him, but sometimes I can't help feeling that he might be lonely as he gets older. He doesn't have siblings or cousins around regularly, and I wonder if having a brother or sister would make his childhood more lively and give him a lifelong companion.

We've also talked about the possibility of having a bigger family in general. The idea of a busy home with multiple children is something that appeals to us, but it's also a little overwhelming when we think about the realities of balancing work, finances, and parenting.

At the same time, I'm not sure if we can handle another child. Between work, finances, and the lack of time we already have, it feels like a huge decision. I also don't know if I'm projecting my own feelings onto him. He's only 13 months old, so maybe he doesn't really need a sibling, or maybe he'd be perfectly happy as an only child.

For those who were in a similar situation, what made you decide to have a second child? If you ended up having a bigger family, how did you know it was the right choice? Looking back, do you think it was the right decision for your family? Thanks.

Am I insane for considering paper plates for family dinners? Dishes as a chore seem to take longer and longer as our kids get bigger appetites, eat more frequently, etc. Downsides are more trash, but it takes me 10 seconds to take out the trash and 30 minutes to properly wash a days worth of dishes. I feel so lazy but it would be so nice to get that time back.

We are expecting baby #5 and trying to figure out the car seat setup in our 2012 Toyota Sienna. I am thinking we’ll have our 9, 3, and 6 year olds in the back row in a backless booster, ff convertible, and high back booster respectively. Anyone have this setup? And what seats are narrow enough to be configured that way 3 across and still have easy buckle access for the boostered kids?

Feeling overwhelmed by all the dishes towels shoes ect around the house. I have 4 children ages 10,8,4 and 1. I want them to have more responsibility for their things and constant reminders aren’t helping. For those of you that have done a color system where everyone gets their own towel maybe their own cup plate is this a sustainable system? Does anyone have any ideas on a different system or set up to encourage kids to be more responsible for their items and help keep the clutter and things at bay?

We’re about to have 4u3. Looking for advice from other families regarding which toys have withstood the test of time and love from multiple kids? Ideally, toys that are also modular and can be added onto (like Lego which is generally capable with the entire catalogue but if child A likes Dinos and child B likes princesses we just get different themed sets)

We have 50 easter eggs (different sets and characters). We have one daughter right now, but will be welcoming 2 more babies into our home in the next couple of months. I am decluttering and organizing stuff. In our Easter bin we have 50 easter eggs, is this a reasonable amount for 3 kids? I know the babies may not be able to hunt for easter eggs next easter, but should i keep all 50 since they fit in our easter storage bin, or even with 3 kids, is 50 easter eggs too many? I honestly have no expectation on what a reasonable amount is, so im just trying to ask more experienced parents since my daughter was too young to hunt for eggs this year (grandparents each sent us a pack of easter eggs this past easter, which is how we ended up with so many — they also all sent an Easter basket, but since there us only 3 i figured we’d keep those since eventually i know we will need 3 easter baskets)

With multiple kids, I’ve started noticing a pattern where it’s hard to keep everyone engaged without defaulting to screens just to get through the day.

Even when I set up activities, it feels like there is always someone done early, someone bored halfway through, or someone asking for something completely different. By the time I rotate through everyone, the original activity has already fallen apart.

I’ve tried a mix of things like puzzles, building sets, and outdoor play, but it still feels like I’m constantly managing attention rather than everyone actually staying focused on something for more than a short stretch.

For parents managing more than one child at a time, what actually works in your home when you need something that holds their attention without constant supervision or switching between activities?

I have 3 kids. Oldest (5) and middle (3) are still in 3 point harness car seats. Youngest (8 months) is in a rear facing infant seat. I currently drive a Honda pilot and want to get a minivan.

Which one for young kids is your favorite? I’m eyeing the odyssey because of its magic slide feature but wanted to know if there are advantages to other minivans.

I don’t know how anyone can have a routine for their little kids when there is a variety of ages. Sports on different days, kids part time jobs and hobbies, grandparents helping out when daddy is away and doing their own version of bedtime etc. I just feel like it’s a bit chaotic all the time. Listening to people with one or two small kids talk about wake windows and bed time while we are just trying to make sure everyone eats dinner and the house isn’t trashed and homework gets done etc. idk anyone else find this lol. Doesn’t help our youngest is kind of like the baby from the Wild Thornberrys and I currently have horrific morning sickness.

When do children start to get a sense of the passage of time?

My (completely neurotypical) child can tell the time to five minutes on a digital and analogue clock, sometimes wears a watch, we have several analogue and one digital clocks around our house, we sometimes use visual timers... and yet they are ASTONISHED, truly ASTONISHED, that if they are assigned a notionally fifteen minute task to do before they get to do XYZ and spend two hours messing around or staring at the wall, bedtime will arrive and they've not done the task so the time available to do XYZ has evaporated and will never come back.

They have ZERO sense that hours rather than seconds are trickling by. If I stand over them and remind them that time is passing every five seconds, they can get the task done in fifteen minutes, but obviously that is intensely annoying for both of us.

I'm not asking how I can get them to focus or how to teach them to tell the time. I'm asking at what age or developmental stage children acquire the general ability to sense whether a vast or tiny amount of time has passed. Like, the difference between "How long has it been since you had lunch?" and they guess five minutes or five hours.

ETA: this is an older primary school age child, not a toddler.

Like go out on a Monday night 😭