u/Frosty-Hope-9609

I have 3 kids (6, 3.5 and a 9 month old baby) and I’m currently expecting my 4th child in December.

I would describe myself as a moderate minimalist. We try to keep toys and children’s stuff at a reasonable level, definitely not extreme minimalism, but also much less than many other families around us. Still, I constantly feel like I’m doing chores all day long. Especially laundry and tidying up overwhelm me sometimes.
I also don’t want my children to grow up with the mindset that someone else will always clean up after them. I want them to slowly learn that time and effort are valuable, and that their actions affect the whole family.
I know they’re still very young, but I’m curious: how do other families with multiple children handle this in daily life? How do you teach small children to gradually contribute at home without turning everything into constant nagging or conflict?

Right now, they already put their clothes into the laundry basket (when reminded), and I encourage them to clean up toys before starting a new activity or when they’re done playing. (They usually end up whining) But I would really love to hear practical examples from other parents.

What actually works for you?

I’m currently pregnant with my 4th and honestly struggling more than I ever have before. I’m around 7 weeks and the nausea, dizziness and overall weakness are constant. I’m not vomiting, but I feel sick all day and can barely eat or function.

I have three small kids (6, 3.5 and 9 months), and I feel like I’m failing them right now because I just don’t have the energy to engage or do much with them. Most days I’m just trying to get through.
What’s making it harder is that I feel mentally really low. I have moments where I genuinely regret this pregnancy and feel overwhelmed by the thought of going through months of this. That scares me, because this isn’t how I expected to feel.
My partner doesn’t really understand and tends to get irritated with my mood, which makes me feel even more alone in this. He does take the kids though every free minute and doing all chores right now whenever he is not working.

I live in Austria, and I’m already trying to find help, but it’s really difficult. Having a nanny here is quite uncommon, as most people offer babysitting for 1–2 hours, but what I actually need is someone who can come for longer stretches and really support me day-to-day, even with small things like unloading the dishwasher or just helping manage the kids when I feel awful. We don’t have any helpful family (due to no relationship and mental health issues with both my mother and mother in law)
Childcare options here usually only start around age 2, which makes me really anxious about the next 2–3 years- being at home with at least one baby most of the time. Right now, that feels overwhelming and honestly pretty depressing.

I guess I’m looking for:
- Did anyone else feel this bad (physically and mentally) in early pregnancy, especially with multiple kids? Or even feelings of regrets? I feel so bad for feeling like this.
- Did it get better, and if so, when?
- How did you cope day-to-day when you still had to take care of other children?
- Any advice on finding more consistent help (especially in places where nannies aren’t common)? Au-pair is not an option yet as we don’t have enough space unfortunately

I would really appreciate honest experiences and honestly also just a few encouraging words. I feel pretty lost right now.

I am 7+2 weeks pregnant with my fourth child, and I have never experienced nausea this severe in any of my previous pregnancies. I struggle to eat and drink, although I am not actually vomiting. I am taking Unisom, but it doesn’t help, it only makes me very sleepy and dizzy. I am having difficulty functioning and have started experiencing anxiety attacks because I feel so unwell, especially with my other children to care for. They are 6, 3, and just 9 months old.

My husband is doing his best to help where he can, but whenever I think about Monday and his workdays in general, I become very anxious. I don’t know how I am supposed to take care of my baby and my other children when they come home from daycare. We don’t have any family around to help and our friends have kids themselves and are busy on their own.

Is there anything else I can do besides taking Unisom and vitamin B6? Doctors don’t seem to take me seriously because I’m not actually vomiting, but I rarely vomit in general—I would need something like a norovirus to vomit at all.