The impact of a third
I know versions of this question come up frequently, but I wanted to share my own.
We discovered we have an oopsie and a 3rd is now on order. We're debating whether to keep it and we have a pretty good idea of the pros and cons. Aside from the logistical challenges, my personal biggest fear is losing my identity and becoming someone whose sole defining trait is being a father, with no time left for hobbies or interests.
Right now, our kids are 4.5 and 18 months, and we feel like we've got things under control. As a family we do fun things together, but we also maintain space as individuals. I go out with friends semi-frequently, we do the occasional solo trip or weekend getaway, we work out regularly, and I hold down a full-time job through all of it. We're also slowly picking up activities we can do together as the kids get older: dinners out, brunch, concerts, that kind of thing.
My fear is that a third will make all of that really hard and that we'll end up just tag-teaming and living alongside each other rather than actually connecting.
I've been reading up on this and there seem to be two schools of thought: either 3 isn't much harder since you've already figured out the parenting thing, or it's exponentially worse. Would love to hear how it actually played out for those of you who've been there.