Like being cheated on
Writing helps me process so sorry if this ends up being long.
I genuinely feel like I've been through most of the stages of grief over the last few days.
Then it hit me this morning, the depth of feeling here is almost like being in a trusting relationship with all its ups and downs, but you have memories, good times, common ground, whatever else in your history and then the other person cheats on you.
Initially my mind went straight to "it's over, there's no way I can be part of this anymore" but then I realised that with football, as with romantic relationships & friendships, the history & loyalty still count for a lot.
With that in mind, maybe, with the right amount of remorse, apologies and intentional rebuilding of trust, this can be survivable as a "relationship".
I have also been trying to be philosophical. Humans are humans and make really stupid mistakes sometimes. Tonda & his team have made a catastrophic error of judgement. I don't think this will become a thing because I think he'll get a ban, but somehow the club telling him he has to stay & make amends & take the anger and the feelings of betrayal like he would if he'd "cheated" in a relationship might be fitting. It'd take some understanding and patience from us fans, but making him face the music, be really uncomfortable for a but and do the right thing by us all long term might actually be a healthy way to repair.
Told you it'd be long. Not sure how much of it I'll still agree with when I re-enter my next stage of grief 🤣