u/Weary-Friend-9379

in Serbia I've never really adapted to their way of culture or social interactions or many similar design choices which makes me stand out

I don't really party or listen to any Serbian music since in my opinion they all sound the same with the same instrumentals, and 99% is a love song, or some rap about money and girls (Baka prase,devito)

The way people dress like for example most kid's are wearing air max shoes or on winter the napapirji Rainforest jacket's, or the same male haircut I see literally everywhere either someone's hair is almost bald or they have a buzzcut, and with of course either a vape or a cigarette in their hands and the second they turn 18 they begging betting on derby matches (or well they not be 18 at all in some cases)

Everyone's hobbies I see are always sport related, it's always either football or basketball, or some karate/kickbox or gym

Now while that's fine I've never seen anyone who loves doing the stuff I love, like digital art or gardening or video game designing which makes it hard for me to talk to people. Same thing goes with video games, most people just only play multiplayer games like (Valorant, LoL, CSGO) I've never met someone who played anything else, like Elden Ring, God of war, etc..

Girl's are pretty much the same each story I open up on Instagram has a 15 second of them lip syncing to some random song while that one friend spams 25 comments of heart emoji's, saying how pretty she is, or a story where someone puts a poll for "trenutna" (aka you're entire dm page is you just sending pictures to each other) and I guess it's some way of getting hooked up I suppose,

and aswell as football my 2 closest friends, have so many pictures of partizan and crvena zvezda, pictures just framed everywhere, and they know each person's life or how they play and their weakness on the pitch, I'm sorry but I never understood that, from my eyes all I see is 22 overpaid people on the stadium kicking ball of air around for 90 minutes,

Not to mention how sexist people are, that people started shaming me, beacuse a girl picked up a. Heavy boiling pot of water before I did (I was on the other side of the kitchen while she was Infront of it)

Like what was I supposed to do? Run to the scene and yank the boiling hot pan out of her hands?

I don't fit any stereotype or blend in with any of the stuff normal Balkan teenage kids do, at least that's what's like around my city, and that's my experience with it

the 4 years of going to a terrible culinary high school (and on my last year) i only had 2 restaurants I've been on

the first place I've been to was a small almost unnoticeable restaurant where it was clear the owner just used every student internship he could muster so he wouldn't have to pay more employees than his current 3 ( 2 cooks and 1 waiter and like 6 students) and on my 2nd day there i was only given the task of washing the dishes.. now i know this is normal in most cases and to be expected anywhere i could've went, but the environment was so toxic it was unbearable to go to

the ingredients they bought were literally from a 5 minute small convivence store, and a unsanitary kitchen where literal plates were kept on the floor, so were eggs, (keep in mind the working stations were barely deep cleaned) and also served customers rotten bread, bought from the convivence store,

Not to mention the disrespect i received, for not only them making fun of me for not drinking the stuff like coffee or coke, (which let me say i hate drinking) the owner somehow spied on me by finding out about my private messages and also oddly enough finding where i was going after my "shift" and asking me what kind of porn i watch...

Second place should be better right?

there were like 5 chefs, 2 obese, and 3 chefs that just show no passion or desire to do this job and looked depressed that withing the first day of me being there some random fight happened. Now all i got to do over there was slice a BUNCH of cabbage.. like 10 cabbage heads.. every day i went over there, and after i finish that? off to the dishes i go!, now one time they were making some bread (which was extremely unhealthy by the way, showered in oil and pumped with additives that kids eat by the way)

my classmate was successful on his first attempt at shaping the dough and after my first ever unsuccessful attempt she just laughed at my face and told me to fuck off and go do something else, and asking me "why are you so. lost?" while criticizing me for making a sopska salad (which all they asked was i make one they didn't specify nothing else) only half a portion which i generously filled wasn't enough . and no one didn't even bother to approach me, and show me something, screw it even if you treat me like shit at least show me something, they just belittled me throughout the entire internship

there were many other things that happened but i don't wanna make this post longer than it already is,

but is this really what its like? working as a cook? id much rather work at the crusty crab

Hey there fellas, after my previous post i have ordered the rtx 9060 16gb amd with a 5600 ryzen 5 processor,

now i only need to know which is a decent power supply since my onlyhas max 450 wat,

and im considering buying a DeepCool 600W PF600 80+, but through some research i heard it isn't very good, so any good ones that aren't too expensive?

I've been researching how to do push-ups, and recorded myself trying and I did notice my back sags a bit downwards, and I try my absolute best to keep it straight as I descend,

I do everything right keep shoulder width the same as my fingers head straight, arms tucked not making a t shape, it's just that damn back that kinda sags a bit downwards,

Heard I gotta clench my abs to keep form straight so I tried at first then again and almost shat myself not from the push-up but just the act of keeping my body straight.

I just can't really help but sag my back a bit, I can't keep it PERFECTLY straight,and I am kinda afraid that I'm kinda just sitting there, doing pointless push-ups just because this one damn exercises has ana entire math formula to it

i cant get my mods to work, i have downloaded from the mod downloader and activated via bb launcher and when i enter the game nothing really happens (even if it says on the right of the screen of the mods activated)

i downloaded bloodborne enhanced and vertrex explosion, yet nothing works

I feel like 70% of the reason I'm an Introvert is the sole reason that I do not so and act the same as the usual "mature teen" with the usual stereotypes

I don't like my country's music since in my opinion it's repetitive and just sounds terrible, yet I see every person liking the music

I'm not. A huge fan of watching sports (or more accurately not at all) yet every guy I've hanged out always talks about club transfer's stats, and sometimes obsession over clubs which from what I see is just alot of overpaid people kicking a ball of air around,

I play alot of game's which are story Rich and open world (Elden Ring, god of war,) and some boomer shooters

But others?. It's the same game being played on repeat no matter where I go (CSGO, Fortnite, or some other popular competition game)

The hobbies of others don't correlate with mine at all. Usual guy hobbies people expect of me is your casual sport's, or karate,

I'm an artist, and while that may be normal other's quickly divert their interest the second I mention I do digital work.. since everyone I guess expects me to draw on a canvas with paint or on paper.. it's like showing the people a new language when I claim im a digital artist

I even asked my closest friend that on his 19 years of living in our city, he has. Never seen anyone with interest s such as mine,

Moral of the story, I feel as if I don't fit any normal stereotype in my country, even my parents look at me weird sometimes, being the sole reason as to why I'm introverted, I have absolutely no one to relate to

its been 3 days of me roaming around the map having absolute 0 clue on where to go i am roaming aroud and have basiacly buffed myself to the point where i 1 shot anything, can anybody join and help me naviagte? I've been stuck on this for days

After deciding to take the gym a bit seriously by spending most of my time exercising.. I came across many video's and people's opinions, on how to, do this, or if You're wasting you're time if you're not doing chest day on this day, or your overtraining your shoulders alot, you're doing leg's only once a week etc.

Most of these comments and videos from influencers make me feel like I've been kinda wasting my time, and I've been afraid I haven't made any progress, despite going consecutively to the gym 4 times a week for 2 weeks now (with added 8,000 steps everyday and a 3km run)

I don't have an option to get a trainer, or coach, and I've been mostly taking advice from my friend who's more experienced than me so it's pretty much been a solo journey

For clarification my basic workflow goes like this

Monday: 2 Biceps, 2 Triceps, 2 shoulders, sit ups (8,000 steps)

Tuesday: Rest day with a a added 3km run

Wednesday: chest 3 exercise, 2 Triceps and 1 shoulders, sit ups (8,000 steps

Thursday : Rest day with a a added 3km run

Friday: Back, Biceps, forearms, sit ups (8,000 steps)

Saturday: Legs, Abs, (8,000 steps)

Sunday: Rest day

scrolling through social media i came across a random artist who claimed they are a beginner with less than 6 months of experience, 13 years old and draws on finger and phone.. and their art is like almost professional level?, their art in the first post was like a classic beginner one then a week later it suddenly had good anatomy and good rendering? while they also do commissions aswell? and they continually mention in their post that they are a beginner at every thing they do like

"i am a beginner and im not sure if i can do a tutorial" or "im a beginner and im not sure if i did this collab correctly" and almost every post and comments is just her contantly saying shes a beginner and didn't do any tutorials?

usually when i compare myself to others i can say stuff like oh they've been drawing more than me etc. but this is just a bit demoralizing and honestly as someone with low self confidence, i cant bring myself to not compare myself when someone that talented exist, seeing art like that makes me very anxious. and on the verge of tears.

In the past is get jealous of better artist.. than me, but when I discovered Japanese artist on Twitter?.. it felt like i just went from a large mountain, to a mountain way beyond the size of everest,

Everything I see in a Japanese illustrator is literally perfection I don't see a single anatomy mistakes ora. Render mistake or any accidental miss placements.. it' just feels perfect

And when I look at my art after seeing all that Japanese art?.. it makes me feel as if I've been living in a dirt house jealous of people with actual houses, while the Japanese artist have an entire planet to call their home

My taste has increases tremendously after seeing some arts and anything that isn't close to their work is now garbage

I have never faced a issue such as envy to this high of an extent of emotion on anything other than art, I wouldn't really care if some buff dude in the gym is better or don't care how much money someone has, sure.. I might get a bit envious but I usually brush it off in a matter of minutes not really caring.

But with art?. It hasn't been very good I have never really been good at anything, until I started art, and begun getting actually praise from some experience artist telling me, that my progress is impressive for my starting time Actually hearing those words for the first time actually made me feel like I was Worth something,

And then.. as I was continuing I felt my envy grow higher and higher the more I did art, if I see someone with better skills, I become very stressed and hyperventilating..

It has become so bad to the point of me unable to even admire an artist, or barely look at tutorials, and not even references, and block any art friend that improves

Worst thing is?. I get an urge to constantly re live that stress by looking at an artist work that's clearly better than mine, and it's like an addiction, that I cannot stop I HAVE to look, like someone enjoying hurting themselves. And now I haven't touched a pen in 4 months,

Envy has absolutely ruined art for me.. I really wanna love the hobby and just don't Care about other's, but art has been a huge stress rollercoaster since I started it,..

What could I do? Since every method I tried turned out the same in the end..

Art has been a rollercoaster of stress for the past 8 Months of me doing it,this level of envy is something I never really felt to anything other than art,

I don't care about the largest guy in the gym, I might get a bit jealous but shrug it off,

I don't really care that someone in my favorite video game climbed with a 10 win streak or first tried a Boss I was struggling to beat

But with art?.. it's like something turn's on inside my brain that just brings me intense envy, to the point of almost having a panic attack, and a thousands different thought begin spinning around my head,

It ha a become so bad to the point of me having to put a hand over my screen when scrolling through Instagram just so I Don't remember their name (I have blocked 1556 Artist on Instagram)

This feeling worsens when an even Younger artist just comes in with a masterpiece and has more success than me , and it genuinely makes me hate them,

I can't look at tutorials anymore without getting stressed, I can't look at references without felling worse,

No matter how many "comparison is the thief of joy" I hear, the feeling of inferiority and disgust will never go away, Like is the artist with better skill immediately a more valuable person and more better, which gives them the right of pitying the inferior

Everything is a competition and I Lost every single one, until the moment I found art, and people started recognizing me.. even if it's a little, I can't quit it, I am a nobody without it,

How do you even feel joy in art anymore.

In the past few years, I have had my fair share of disrespect.. across school and highschool, usually people mocking me, girl's walking past me saying "ew" and stuff like "werido" I was the one who was usually bullied but not in a physical sense, ,more like people mocking me for my stupidity, miss speaking or accidentally tripping, calling me ugly beacuse I had alot of hair growth, or in highschool getting slapped in the head,.. or teachers mocking me for random mistakes,

On a school trip I took, everyone got picked for a certain activity..and I was rendered last so I just went with who's available and while everyone got their own tasks.. I was left to just watch.During practice for a school dance a girl began sobbing beacuse she got paired up with me .Always being the "backup" friend for when the "original friend" isn't there to keep them intrested.

at football practice a teammate just said to my face I am just a number value and that's all that I am for the club, if I wasn't a goalkeeper it'd just be a benched player. while other's talk about themselves they don't even bother to look at me,

The hell is going on?.. I don't remember harming these people to be treated like this... Is minding my business that much of a red flag for them?.

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