u/WeirdMean

I created this tool to help us identify if someone is a pedophile or not. I think MJ's fans might love it.

The biopic reignited my interest in MJ. I saw it opening weekend surrounded by fans. For many years, I thought he was maybe/maybe not a pedo, but certainly a strange person who didn't understand boundaries and didn't have a childhood. I thought it was super weird he slept with children, but I also knew lots of celebrities were weird and fame does stuff to people.

Anyway, I loved the biopic, and it felt like a concert of many of his greatest hits. It reminded me why I liked Michael's music. It felt so magical and reconnected me with my childhood, and reminded me when fellow students tried to moonwalk in elementary school before the Chandler allegations came out.

Still, in the back of my mind, I wanted to enjoy his music while being certain he was innocent.

So, I started diving into the allegations.

And one of the first things I learned was the NAMBLA books. I just couldn't figure out why Michael would have them, and the pro MJ sites had no satisfactory answers for them. "Art books" are you kidding me? "He didn't know about them" . . . right, that's why he wrote in one, and left it locked in a drawer in a room where had porn freely scattered about. "They're not that bad" . . . oh, they're worse.

Anyway, I kept researching, and though the books left me incredibly uncomfortable, they weren't enough to convict him in my mind. Maybe he was even stranger than I thought. After that, I ended up listening to MJ's defense attorneys. I found Thomas Mesereau to be incredibly intelligent, persuasive, and he created doubt in every accusation. After that, I watched some pro-MJ videos. I tried to watch Square One, but I found the false memories implanted by a dentist to be ridiculous and only found in science-fiction. Also, I didn't find the MJ super fan to be credible. Still, the pro-MJ stuff got me like 80% of the way to believe that maybe he and his estate were the targets of extortion.

But 80% of the way there wasn't enough for me. I couldn't get those NAMBLA books out of my mind. I was frustrated, and I think this was because I wanted MJ to be innocent. I even spoke to my wife about how maddening it was that I couldn't get closure on this.

Then, I heard the Cascios were now accusing MJ, too, and I was like, "MJ must be the absolute worst judge of character because every 'special friend' of his tends to come forward with allegations much later in life. How did this dude surround himself with such people."

Yup, the answer is obvious, but I wasn't ready to admit it. Still, it was enough that I realized I had gone into this with some bias (okay, a lot). I was actively looking for information that exonerated MJ. I didn't want to believe that such horrible things happened to these children and that MJ was responsible.

Reluctantly, I decided I had to look deeper at the other side presented outside of the MJ hivemind.

Based on the MJ sites, I had believed that Leaving Neverland was "debunked," so I had little interest in watching it. But I stumbled on a video where I heard Wade speak on YouTube.

A Conversation with Wade Robson with the Men of Voices Beyond Assault

I checked the details around the video and was immediately perplexed by a few things before I even pressed PLAY, and something started to click for me.

1. If Wade was looking for a "quick buck" why was he doing a two-hour interview about his experience a decade AFTER he first came out with allegations? That's serious dedication.
2. And if it was about money, why was Wade bothering to interview with a YT channel that has less than 500 subscribers? Wouldn't that be a waste of time for a grifter?
3. Shouldn't he be trying to get a payday for an interview like I was told all other accusers had done?
4. Furthermore, if Wade was actually lying, he'd have to be a complete waste of a human being to go on to a small channel dedicated to supporting victims of SA. Also, wouldn't they be able to recognize he was lying better than anyone? He was seriously exposing himself.
5. Also, if he was lying, why would he risk being exposed during a two-hour interview with a small channel where he'd have to be careful to not contradict his past statements?

Still, I started listening to the video thinking maybe I would find him to be untrustworthy and scripted. That he'd have some fake crocodile tears. Instead, I found him to be incredibly human. He was honest and had to pause and think about some of his answers. He didn't remember every detail, either, which added credibility. Being imperfect made him more believable, not less. Wade talked about healing, and all the therapy and counseling he's been to. And I was suddenly thinking, "This is a whole lot of dedication from someone I've been told was a liar, because I can't imagine lying about something for fifteen years for money and spending all this time going to counseling and therapy for something that didn't happen."

Logically, it made little sense for Wade to be lying. The pro-MJ websites like to talk about him not getting the Cirque Du Soleil job, and that he was having money problems. But wasn't that in 2009? Why would this guy stay consistent and spend all this time propagating a lie for over a decade if he was just looking for a little money? I mean, that was ages ago.

After that, I listened to more of Wade, wherever I could. Until finally, I found a way to watch LN. And watching it made me cry, not just for the victims, but also confirmation about a musician whose music I greatly admire. I listened to Telephone Stories next, and everything came together, and the closure I had been desperate to seek arrived. It wasn't the answer I wanted, but it was an answer.

I believe the victims of MJ.