Question about engaged daughter.
So, looking on how to best support her with this situation. So please be kind. She is 21. He is 23.
My daughter has been in a long distance relationship for almost 3 years. Been engaged for almost 1. The LORD keeps putting up barriers for them getting married. She also deals with some health issues that cause her to need to take care of herself and advocate for herself which shes not done a good job of. So for most of their relationship hes pushed her to do things that made her conditions worse, not necessarily realizing, but in wanting to please him too.
But now shes hit a wall with the pleasing. She is trying to advocate for herself and speak up. Like she doesnt deal with heat well at all and he loves the heat. So car rides shes dripping sweat, while he says he's fine. His car AC doesnt work, so when he puts the window down, it doesnt help much. She confessed to him its upsetting he doesnt take notice that she is dripping sweat and feeling poorly. That is one example. He is not good at reading the room. Like she looks insanely awkward or is feeling badly and its over his head. He says he wants to learn to read her better and I know the long distance affects that when the most time in a row they've spent is 2 weeks.
She keeps listing the problems they have but it doesnt sink in. They both made bibical lists of what the other can do to improve the relationship and hes trying but doesmt get it.
Shes at her wits end and told me shes now day dreaming about being single.
He is a nice man, wanting to please the Lord. He wanted to sign up to mentor the youth but hes missing his mission with his fiance currently.
This was his first relationship. He treated her more like a buddy than a girlfriend most of the time. When they got engsged he said he was finally glad to seal the deal.
The day before they got engaged they were playing a small game of kickball in the backyard with her younger siblings but using a soccer ball. No one was keeping score, just having fun. While she ran from a base he threw the ball at point blank at her and hurt her really badly. He did not grasp that was wrong. First off it was a soccer ball, Secondly it was insanely hard. He said he had to get her out. Then went on to hurt my other children in order to get them.out as well. Noone should be hit hard in the face in a game of kickball. We pulled him aside to explain to him why these actions were wrong and he said he had to win. I said first off its a hard soccer ball and secondly you never throw a ball at the woman you love. He told me any other girl would be fine with it. He wasnt understand that wasnt gentle. Noone even knew they were gonna have a ball thrown at them.
Theres been lots of these issues but we just chalked it up to him being young.
But now my daughter is losing patience. He says getting married will fix anything. They were supposed to be married last October. Then this saturday and the Lord messed that up so it didnt work out.
They are in pre marital counseling.
Any thoughts?