u/Wetcrossaint

My (24m) miss my son (3m) so much. I actually feel empty without him. For a little background, my ex (24M) moved out 2 weeks ago. We lived together after te break up for a year and 3 months. We broke up because I caught her planning to cheat in our bed. Saw her full convo with the random guy she met while working as a waitress. Everything was planned out till the positions and even discussed that it was extra hot that they would do it in our bed. My world collapsed when I found out, she was crying and drastically trying to gaslight me 'it wasn't what it looked like' and trying to grab her phone out of my hands.

My son and I went to my mom's place to cool off, she stayed with colleagues for a couple days.

After some days I decided that this was not something we could overcome. After the (physical) abuse she put me trough, the manipulation to isolate me from my best friend and chronically lying about the smallest stuff i was done.

My ex is not the typical 'crazy ex' that would do something to make my life worse..she is just helpless I guess. She doesn't know how to behave in social settings, would sleep on couches at birthday parties or family events. Wouldn't show any interest in my family etc etc. Wich is kinda sad, she has her own family living on the other side of the country. Her mom (not diagnosed) has some mental disability so she is emotionally unstable and is fully dependents on her emotional stoic and unavailable husband (exes father). Her father is emotionally so unavailable..when I called him and told him what his daughter did he said 'oh yea, thats not nice'. Wich I responded that his daughter is going to need him in this period of her life. He said oke and that was the end of the convo. He called her, asked how she was doing she explained her self, crying and everything. He said: oh, the car needs to go garage for a check up..and kept the conversation going with general small talk. So thats a small example of why my exes brain is a little bit different, it looks like there is no thought behind her eyes sometimes. But, living together after the breakup made her thinking about herself and she changed alot, sometimes she still does and says stuff that most people wouldn't do but it is what is it is.

As for now I had my son last week, we had so much fun. Yesterday he went to my exes place (she is literally my neighbor) I could hear him crying for me, when she brought him to bed. Its so fucking hard. Missing 50% of my sons life wasn't something I planned for. I don't know what to do with myself, I just come home and chill with my dog. My exes work shifts were irregular so I did almost all the caretaking of my son.. i just feel sad and empty without him. He and I are the best buddies and i'm the most stable parent compared to my ex. He knows it and gives her a hard time because she is not that strong in her parenting skills. (I really tried to teach her everything I know and do for the last 3 years but yea. This was my not so little venting session, my bad!

Heel erg bedankt!