u/WhileNo5370

I think Lily Mayne's Monstrous books are a good example of what I mean. I am perfectly happy to have a world that is very unkind, messed up and unpleasant to live in (on some level or another) - I love paranormal/scifi/fantasy but I'm open to most genres, so the nuances are flexible for me. But I want the relationship itself to become a light in the storm even if it doesn't start that way. So it could very well start off even as hardcore enemies to lovers or have morally questionable characters, but the point is that the relationship itself is a positive. My personal main issue with dark romance is that if the relationship makes me feel "these people shouldn't be together and maybe even don't deserve it", I don't enjoy it as a romance (to me that's horror, and I have different expectations for it), and it's a shame because some of them have interesting premises. I can only think of two book series that toed that line successfully for me.

Hard no: Poly/ENM, Cheating, Incest, Noncon, Abuse between leads
Usually not a fan: Love triangles, billionaires

I have lost around 15kg on MJ since late September on a fairly low dose (my current is the highest I have gone, which is just shy of 4mg weekly with click counting). However, a couple of weeks ago I had my first gain since starting - 3kg gained over the course of 2 months (I only get weighed at the doctor's and I had postponed it).

My goal has been to lose 20kg on MJ, so it was definitely demoralizing to move away from that goal. This is a post chemo goal that supports my ongoing immunotherapy to prevent cancer recurrence, so it's very important to me.

However, in the past 3 months I've gotten back to lifting at the gym on top of my usual walking around (2×week for now, about 3 hours total, sometimes I replace one of them with an hour on my at-home elliptical at its max resistance), and have experienced some hormonal issues (PMOS). My doctor heard this and reassured me she's not worried about the gain because hormonal fluid retention and muscle likely make up a chunk of it, but saw no problem with me increasing my dose a bit anyway.

Of course, I have since tightened the nutrition belt a bit more, too.

Still, I have been circling the issue in my brain, feeling a bit down on myself. It niggled at me. My pants definitely feel looser around the waist, and multiple people have told me I've visibly gotten slimmer in that time.

So, I found my earliest MJ pictures, and made a collage with my most current ones - these pictures are just shy of 10 months apart. The difference is major on all fronts, WAY more than I remembered. And it was the boost I needed to see that I'm still on the right path. It also really solidified my muscle gain being significant because, looking through the months of documentation chronologically, I have literally gained an ass back since hitting the gym again. I'm genetically inclined to gain muscle quickly, but damn! It really is visible.

I don't intend to share them with anybody. But damn, it wasn't about vanity - it was literally a reality check.

I'm one year out of chemo (which means one year into immunotherapy). I was on antibiotics three times a week and antivirals twice a day for the entire duration of chemo and up until two months ago. My lymphocytes are close enough to normal now, which is good news.

However, since stopping the meds, my skin (on my face specifically) is not happy with me. It's more textured, my pores are clogged, and it seems to be always a bit dehydrated. I'll get little flaking areas at the same time as sudden bursts of oil production, so products seem to be either not hydrating enough or too occlusive/straight up greasy, sitting on top of my skin. It has unfortunately re-triggered my skin picking too :( Where I live the air is dry and the weather is mild, and I haven't changed anything else in my routines other than the meds.

Has anybody experienced something like this? I don't want to make it any worse with more self experimentation, but my doctor didn't have anything useful to tell me about it.