u/White_46

Well, I take sertraline and was diagnosed with GAD 7 months ago. The problem is, I really don't know, but this combination of things is driving me crazy, people, that's a fact. I truly feel that leukemia has completely destroyed me. This terrible disease has killed the old me. Another thing is that I was taking anti-seizure pills to avoid any symptoms from Blinatumomab, and I noticed that the anxieties worsened, leading to rapid involuntary movements. I'm sorry to say this, but I really don't want to look at my doctor and see that they treat this as normal. I'm becoming increasingly depressed.

Olha, eu faço desenhos e depois os completo fazendo eles com giz de cera, canetas, e isso dá neles um toque meio antigo. Eu não entendo porque o Fortalezense, o Cearense ou o brasileiro no geral não valoriza esse tipo de arte. Por favor, tentem me fazer discordar disso.

A few days ago, I watched a YouTube channel that told the story of Ottis Toole, from his difficult childhood to the beginning of his crimes. His partnership with Henry Lee Lucas, another deeply disturbed individual, was also mentioned.

I simply wanted to know what you think about the mind of this disgusting psychopath. In 1981, he killed Adam Walsh, doing so in one of the cruelest ways imaginable. I think I can give my opinion about this sick mind, and I want people who might feel sorry for this man to understand my perspective.

I believe that Ottis did, in fact, have a terrible childhood. He suffered greatly, especially because of the abuse he experienced from his mother, who forced him to dress like a woman. Ottis repeatedly claimed that he had been abused by people close to him. He also claimed that his grandmother was a Satanist and that she called him “the Son of the Devil.”

According to Ottis, the abuse he experienced in the past influenced his sexuality. He became pyrophilic, meaning that he was sexually aroused by fire. He also claimed that he had prostituted himself.

It is unknown whether Ottis ever truly regretted his crimes after his arrest. Perhaps he regretted them internally, somewhere in his own mind, but simply did not want to talk about it.

After watching his interviews, you can disagree with me, but I believe that the coldness of Hannibal Lecter and Buffalo Bill may have been inspired, at least in part, by this serial killer. The coldness, that frightening expression, the desire to kill, the lack of reason, and the willingness to lie... that is the closest thing I can imagine when trying to understand such a disturbed mind.

Ottis Toole killed Adam Walsh, a six year old child. The question that stays in my mind is this: how could someone who had once been a child himself become capable of doing something like that to another human being?

Seriously, I wonder what that person called Pelya has to do with its development. The options are confusing, there are more than 500 popups appearing on the screen, and you can barely even move the camera. I have no idea why they made a port of such a great g

So, I am a 20 year old male and I am supposed to start Blinatumomab in the next few weeks. You have no idea how much suffering and how many obstacles I have gone through just to get this medication. The problem is that I have been living with leukemia for the past two months, only keeping it under control with the MOPeD regimen (Methotrexate, Vincristine, Prednisone, and Mercaptopurine). This is a maintenance regimen that helps hold the disease back. I am also taking Filgrastim in the hope of boosting my immune system. I am still suffering a lot while waiting for Blinatumomab to arrive. I have lost a lot of weight, and it feels like every single day is a battle. I would like to hear from people who had refractory Philadelphia chromosome negative B cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia and received Blinatumomab despite having a high tumor burden. Were you able to achieve remission? My doctor told me that I could experience cytokine release syndrome, although I will be closely monitored and protected against it. After all of this, I will undergo a bone marrow transplant.

I would also like to ask for your prayers. No matter what your religion is, please pray for me. This suffering feels like it will never end. 😭😭

I had gone 7 days without a fever, and today my doctor told me that my lactate levels were high. I did not really understand it. She examined me and did not find anything wrong with my lungs. In my last blood test, my hemoglobin was 7.8, although I did not need a transfusion. While I have been in the hospital, I feel very tired whenever I go to the bathroom. I am scared that this could cause problems with my liver or my kidneys because of the high lactate. It is so hard to come to the hospital and realize that your body is sick 😭😭. As far as I know, my kidneys are working very well, and so is my liver. I am taking some antibiotics, including Meropenem and another one that I forgot the name of. I am still waiting for Blinatumomab, which I believe will arrive next week or maybe even this week.

I have B-ALL and have been in treatment for over a year. Lately, I have been feeling worried. I have been experiencing vomiting and excessive sleepiness. The thing is, I do not have a fever, but I feel like I get tired very quickly.

I am currently on a maintenance protocol to keep the disease under control while I wait for Blinatumomab to become available.

For those of you who have experienced CNS involvement, what were your symptoms like?

So, I ask all of you this question, even though I might sound a little strange saying it. I have B cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia at 20 years old. It is my second cancer in life. That is because I had Hodgkin lymphoma when I was a child. It was a very aggressive treatment, and from the beginning I would fall into despair. Thank God, I saw many happy stories during that period and I was cured of Hodgkin lymphoma in 2019. However, in 2025, I was diagnosed with leukemia, which was probably secondary, meaning it came as a result of the chemotherapy treatment for Hodgkin lymphoma. It was not easy to receive that diagnosis. It felt like a mental shock to my brain, like getting punched in the face and then not being able to do anything about it. The disease is inside you, but you cannot remove it yourself.

I went into remission, but after 10 months it came back. I went through another chemotherapy regimen to try to reach remission again. The disease decreased, but it did not reach complete remission. Painful, and that was just another punch in the face. Anyway, now I am going to immunotherapy. While I wait for it, I am on a chemotherapy regimen to keep the disease under control. It may arrive this month, at least I hope so.

I am no longer afraid of leukemia. Honestly, as a Brazilian and a football lover, I hope I can live to watch the World Cup and cheer for my country’s national team. This is a cancer subreddit, but let’s talk about something good haha. This could still be a year with many things waiting for me.

But here is the question: when a person loses the fight against this disease, are they considered a loser? I say this because, to me, more painful than death is being called a loser. It is seeing people watch you go away, in front of your weakened self, and say that you lost the fight. But you fought. You did not lose. You were brave. You were practically a five star general fighting against the disease. I am strong, and I still have chances to beat this. It is not easy.

Today I found out that one of my companions in the fight against disease, leukemia, passed away. Her name was Cyntia. Even though our leukemias were different, I rooted for her a lot. My mother once said she saw her wearing a pink wig. Oh... Cyntia, you are gone, I did not want this. I hope you are in a good place. I remember that moment when I saw her. She was holding something like a doll or something like that, it was as if her leukemia brought her to the childlike side of everything. I do not want to talk, but it is difficult... Why is there so much emptiness in living? Why so much psychological pain? Depressed people want to die and I just want to live. Cyntia certainly wanted to exist. The world inside her mind was still active. Her memories, they still exist. Cyntia may be gone, but I still remember her memories and her life. I do not want to go, but I want to remember every friend from this fight. I do not want to cry now, people do not cry for something that has not happened yet. I resist, but I still feel psychological pain. The pain of the strongest mind possible. I ask myself again, am I living in a nightmare? Have I still not woken up or will I wake up? There is another dimension, right?

Still talking about Cyntia. God placed her in a beautiful garden. The deepest world of rest took her away. To be honest, I loved Cyntia. I remember that once she lent me a kind of puzzle that I could not solve. She was about 23 and I was still 18. Two young people. Her mother was with her. The terrible leukemia, the enemy of everything, took Cyntia away, but it did not take her from my mind. Thank you for everything, Cyntia 🥹

Today, May 10, 2026, marks 1 year since I discovered this disease. It was shocking to receive the news, especially because it was a secondary ALL that came from the treatment of a Hodgkin lymphoma I had treated 9 years ago. I underwent induction chemotherapy in May 2025, during which I spent 1 month hospitalized. The expectation of remission was extremely high. I was happy and thought I would be able to continue my consolidation and maintenance phases at a hematology center close to home without needing hospitalization. It felt great. I confess that I was not that afraid of ALL at first. My biggest fear was only how it could affect my life and the way I communicate with people.

I started pre transplant consultations in August 2025. Although my hematologist wanted me to proceed with the bone marrow transplant, I believed the chances of cure with chemotherapy alone were still very high. I went through exams to see if my body was prepared for the transplant. Everything came back fine.

But everything seemed to collapse in January 2026. My MRD came back positive at 0.2%, and my hematologist was already recommending Blinatumomab to make it negative. Later, I had another bone marrow test because there was still a possibility that Mercaptopurine and Methotrexate could eliminate the residual disease, but they did not. The disease increased to 0.7%. Then I had another bone marrow biopsy, and it showed 39% blasts. In other words, a relapse. That was devastating for me.

After that, I returned to hospitalization. The immunophenotyping showed ambiguous markers, which led me to receive FLAG IDA for 8 days. Since then, I have had 4 infections. I went into shock because I had high fevers every night. But I responded well to the chemotherapy. Then I had another bone marrow test to see if I had reached remission, and no, the disease proved refractory. Even though it had decreased, it was still at 9%.

So in summary, I am now about to receive Blinatumomab. Another round of chemotherapy will probably not be enough to bring me into remission. The pain of going through all of this is cruel.

This is my second post here in a short period of time. I understand it can be tiring to always talk about the same thing, but it hurts.

I will be going back home this week while taking another chemotherapy protocol known as POMP. They will add oral Prednisone, intravenous Vincristine, oral Methotrexate, and oral Mercaptopurine. All of this is being used as a way to hold the leukemia under control while I wait for the Blinatumomab to arrive.

Anyway, these months have been full of highs and lows. But it still feels good to be alive and breathing.

People with leukemia, here I am again. I had made a post before, happy and talking about the victories I achieved during my salvage chemotherapy hospitalization, where I went through 8 sessions of FLAG IDA. I got KPC, aspergillus, and influenza. Today, I received one of the worst pieces of news of my life. I had a bone marrow test 3 days ago and... there are still 9% blasts, which means I did not achieve remission, although the disease has decreased.

Now I only have one guardian left: Blinatumomab. I have already contacted lawyers to get access to it as quickly as possible. My whole family is supporting me through this.

I am 19 years old. I just want to hear stories and experiences about the effectiveness of this medication. It is not easy. I have been here for 1 month and 5 days, suffering, with my arm practically mutilated from so many attempts to get peripheral access. Unfortunately, I lost my neck catheter about two weeks ago.

I have a ton of things to vent about.

Hi everyone, first of all I want to say that I am doing well. Almost exactly one month ago I had posted here on the sub that my B ALL had relapsed after 10 months. So, I arrived at the hospital on April 2 and was treated with FLAG IDA before undergoing a bone marrow transplant. The immunophenotyping of my B ALL is slightly ambiguous with myeloid markers, which is why this protocol was chosen to treat me.

The first 16 days were good, although I had caught influenza and treated it. After that, a wound appeared in my left armpit that almost would not heal due to the lack of neutrophils, causing neutropenic fever. Then, on the 24th, I developed a small trace of aspergillus, and later it was discovered that I had developed a new bacterium that is very common in hospitals called Klebsiella pneumoniae carbapenemase or KPC. The doctors increased all my antibiotics. My platelets dropped more than five times, I think.

Recently, at 19 years old, I found out during one of these transfusions that I have an allergic reaction, so now there is a whole medical preparation before I receive them. At first they gave me sodium chloride, which worked, but it still kept dropping, and now the medication they are giving me is norepinephrine for a period of time. This happened today and the day before yesterday. I spent at least 13 days with a fever of 39. My doctors combined some medications to make the fever go away. Yesterday my neutrophils went up to 900, and my leukocytes I believe are at significant levels. The fevers have stopped.

Anyway, I went through many storms over these four weeks. Sometimes there were moments when I thought something bad would happen, but God helped me endure with determination and strength. I was only a bit sad because yesterday I had a nosebleed due to the very low platelets.

People, believe it, everything will be okay for you. We are strong and resilient and we are going to overcome this disease!