First-Time DM/First Home-Brew One-Shot - Looking for Feedback
Well met, travelers!
I have finally completed the outline, story beats, characters, maps, plot hooks, puzzles, NPCs and PCs for my first home-brewed one-shot. I am currently in a 5 PC Storm King's Thunder/home-brewed campaign that has been going on for around 4.5 years (every Truesday). I am not the DM and this is the first D&D campaign I've ever participated in.
However, this campaign is coming to a close in November (our DM is having more children, and we are happy for him). With that said, I have been lightly working on my own home-brewed one-shot in an attempt to DM for the first time. I want to give everyone something to look forward to after 5 years of fun. Having children of my own, I have been loosely working on my one-shot every few months while at work.
That being said, I have just about everything written out. I am looking for some feedback on puzzles, fun, balance, or anything else as far as critiques. I'm a little nervous but hoping to iron out some of the details before go-time.
I have the overview of everything in a 9-page word document. If anyone is interested in providing feedback or just reading up for inspiration, I was wondering what the best way to share?
Thank you in advance!
For those interested, here is an overview:
"Party starts in the coastal town of Salthaven. All 5 members of the party were grouped together as part of an Adventurer’s Guild contract. The local chapter Guild Master (Tharun Mudspike) selects and assigns groups based on skill and what the contract requires. The current party is the 3^(rd) such group (the “C” team) to be sent to fulfill this contract. The first two groups have not returned. Residents of Salthaven believe a mysterious island off-shore (Cael’Thalas) is the cause of their problems.
PCs travel by boat across treacherous waters until they arrive on the shores of the island. On the island, the PCs are greeted with strange animal tracks - odd, grotesque – crisscrossing the island. Everything, including the water, is covered with a thick, green fog. On the island lies old, Elven ruins. Just beyond the outer ruins lies an idyllic grove untouched by the decay. At the center of the grove stands a massive brown bear (Ulric Stormthicket). A fight will ensue. Should the party win, Ulric transforms back into a half-elf and begs for his life – he appears to be a druid who's protecting the ruins from further adventurers entering and going to their demise. However, the parties do not know he is a thrall for the BBEG.
Next, the dungeon. Various traps, puzzles, and horror moments, as well as a few magical reward items (if the party find them) to use in the final fight. Ultimately, they get to a stone door at the end of the dungeon, otherwise impassible except for a chalice with a description. Upon making their way through the door to the inner-sanctum, the final fight begins. The BBEG is a necromantic druid (Eryndor Ever‑Damned) twisting life into gruesome, unnatural ways. If Ulric is still with the party at this point, he joins Eryndor’s side (he's a thrall and was purposely leading them to the boss). Eryndor is conducting an evil, necromantic ritual, which lasts 6 rounds. If the fight is not over by then – game over.
Should the parties prevail, they travel back to Salthaven…to find it empty. The ending is “open-ended”, but the truth is that the residents were hallucinations brought about by the thick green fog to invite adventurers to their doom."
An example of one of my puzzles:
The Circle of Binding
Location: A chamber deep in the ruins, shaped like a perfect circle. In the center lies a sealed stone door with no handle, surrounded by seven glowing Elven runes etched into the floor. Each rune pulses with a different color and symbol representing aspects of nature and death.
Puzzle Objective: Players must activate the correct sequence of runes to open the door. The wrong sequence triggers a magical backlash (1d6 necrotic damage).
Each time the Runes are entered incorrectly, the backlash goes up by on additional d6 (to a max of 3d6).
Once completed, a stone hole opens in the floor as a Stone Golem, dusty and overgrown with vines, awakens and begins slowly approaching the group – unbeatable – party must escape/move forward through the hole.
Clue found nearby, etched into a broken tablet, in Elvish:
“In twilight’s hush, the grove once sang, A whisper born on verdant fang.
Then came the tears, the ocean’s sigh, It carved the stone, it split sky.
Beneath the weight of silent years, The brittle truth of death appears.
It dances red with hunger deep, Consuming all it dares to keep.
Unyielding heart in silence laid, It bears the weight that time has made.
Threads unseen in shadow spun, Binding fate where none can run.
She watches cold from heights unknown, A silver eye where dreams have flown.
The Runes (in correct order):
Leaf
Droplet
Bone
Flame
Stone
Web
Moon
An example of one of my traps:
Whispers of the Forgotten
Trigger: Entering a narrow hallway lined with cracked Elven murals and paintings.
Effect: A haunting whisper fills the corridor. Each character must make a DC 12 Wisdom save or become frightened for 1 minute. While frightened, they see illusions of the missing adventuring parties begging for help.
Twist: If a frightened character touches or attacks a mural, they are pulled into a psychic vision and must succeed a DC 12 Intelligence save or take 2d6 psychic damage.
Some of my custom-made maps (using Inkarnate):
