u/Wide-Comfort5656

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this. I think I just need someone to listen because I feel like I'm drowning.

Over the last few years, it feels like my life has been one bad thing after another.

In January 2023, when I was 35 weeks pregnant as a surrogate, my mom died suddenly. She struggled with addiction and chronic pain, so while it was unexpected, it also wasn't completely shocking. Losing her shattered me.

A week and a half later, complications with the pregnancy meant I had to deliver early. During labor, I had a severe reaction to my epidural. My blood pressure dropped so low that I became unresponsive for around 20 minutes. Thankfully, the baby was healthy, and seeing his parents finally meet him after years of trying was one of the happiest moments I've ever witnessed.

What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional aftermath. Even though I knew the baby was safe with his parents, leaving the hospital without a baby triggered something in my brain. I fell into a deep depression and struggled to get out of bed or even function.

While I was going through that, one of my closest friends thought I had ignored her and ended our friendship. We eventually talked it through and she apologized, but things were never the same.

A few months later, my husband lost his job. We nearly lost our house before things finally started improving.
Then, on Halloween 2023, we were hit by a driver who ran a red light. The accident left me with permanent partial hearing loss in my left ear.

After that, I got a new job that I genuinely loved, but once my boss learned about my hearing loss, I felt like I was being set up to fail. I eventually lost that job and had to report the discrimination just to receive unemployment.
During that time, my husband and I also lost an entire friend group that had become like family. I still don't know what I did wrong. One day we were incredibly close, and the next we were being ignored. Not having closure has been devastating.

After nine months of unemployment and over 100 interviews, I finally found another job. I loved it. I loved the students, my coworkers, and the work itself.
Then this year, my boss lied to the principal about me, and my contract wasn't renewed. I later found out from a coworker that he admitted to lying because of a teacher that quit because she was caught doing almost illegal things where I was part of the group who brought it up (I later found some of her possessions tucked into his desk where he sees it often, and a teacher he was hoping to get moved over who also ended up quitting after I was let go, not because of my performance.

Now I'm job hunting all over again.

My mom is gone. My dad moved across the country, and I barely see him. I've lost people I thought would always be in my life. Every time I think I'm finally getting back on my feet, something else knocks me down.

Today I got my first rejection from a job I interviewed for, and it opened up everything I've been trying to keep buried

I'm exhausted.

I've been trying so hard to stay strong for my husband and my kids, but I feel like I'm running out of strength. I've kept so much inside because I'm terrified of losing more people.

Lately I've started wondering if everyone would be better off without me, and that thought scares me. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

I'm not posting this because I want attention. I'm posting because I don't know what to do anymore, and I don't want to keep feeling like this.

If you've been through something similar or have any advice on how to keep going when life just keeps hitting you over and over, I'd really appreciate hearing from you.
I also have one more favor to ask. I'm usually not someone who asks for prayers (I usually want to make sure those around me are cared for more then worrying about myself), but I feel like I've reached the point where I need all the hope I can get. If you could keep me and my family in your prayers, I would be incredibly grateful.
Thank you for reading this.

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this. I think I just need someone to listen because I feel like I'm drowning.

Over the last few years, it feels like my life has been one bad thing after another.

In January 2023, when I was 35 weeks pregnant as a surrogate, my mom died suddenly. She struggled with addiction and chronic pain, so while it was unexpected, it also wasn't completely shocking. Losing her shattered me.

A week and a half later, complications with the pregnancy meant I had to deliver early. During labor, I had a severe reaction to my epidural. My blood pressure dropped so low that I became unresponsive for around 20 minutes. Thankfully, the baby was healthy, and seeing his parents finally meet him after years of trying was one of the happiest moments I've ever witnessed.

What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional aftermath. Even though I knew the baby was safe with his parents, leaving the hospital without a baby triggered something in my brain. I fell into a deep depression and struggled to get out of bed or even function.

While I was going through that, one of my closest friends thought I had ignored her and ended our friendship. We eventually talked it through and she apologized, but things were never the same.

A few months later, my husband lost his job. We nearly lost our house before things finally started improving.
Then, on Halloween 2023, we were hit by a driver who ran a red light. The accident left me with permanent partial hearing loss in my left ear.

After that, I got a new job that I genuinely loved, but once my boss learned about my hearing loss, I felt like I was being set up to fail. I eventually lost that job and had to report the discrimination just to receive unemployment.
During that time, my husband and I also lost an entire friend group that had become like family. I still don't know what I did wrong. One day we were incredibly close, and the next we were being ignored. Not having closure has been devastating.

After nine months of unemployment and over 100 interviews, I finally found another job. I loved it. I loved the students, my coworkers, and the work itself.
Then this year, my boss lied to the principal about me, and my contract wasn't renewed. I later found out from a coworker that he admitted to lying because of a teacher that quit because she was caught doing almost illegal things where I was part of the group who brought it up (I later found some of her possessions tucked into his desk where he sees it often, and a teacher he was hoping to get moved over who also ended up quitting after I was let go, not because of my performance.

Now I'm job hunting all over again.

My mom is gone. My dad moved across the country, and I barely see him. I've lost people I thought would always be in my life. Every time I think I'm finally getting back on my feet, something else knocks me down.

Today I got my first rejection from a job I interviewed for, and it opened up everything I've been trying to keep buried

I'm exhausted.

I've been trying so hard to stay strong for my husband and my kids, but I feel like I'm running out of strength. I've kept so much inside because I'm terrified of losing more people.

Lately I've started wondering if everyone would be better off without me, and that thought scares me. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

I'm not posting this because I want attention. I'm posting because I don't know what to do anymore, and I don't want to keep feeling like this.

If you've been through something similar or have any advice on how to keep going when life just keeps hitting you over and over, I'd really appreciate hearing from you.
I also have one more favor to ask. I'm usually not someone who asks for prayers (I usually want to make sure those around me are cared for more then worrying about myself), but I feel like I've reached the point where I need all the hope I can get. If you could keep me and my family in your prayers, I would be incredibly grateful.
Thank you for reading this.

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this. I think I just need someone to listen because I feel like I'm drowning.

Over the last few years, it feels like my life has been one bad thing after another.

In January 2023, when I was 35 weeks pregnant as a surrogate, my mom died suddenly. She struggled with addiction and chronic pain, so while it was unexpected, it also wasn't completely shocking. Losing her shattered me.

A week and a half later, complications with the pregnancy meant I had to deliver early. During labor, I had a severe reaction to my epidural. My blood pressure dropped so low that I became unresponsive for around 20 minutes. Thankfully, the baby was healthy, and seeing his parents finally meet him after years of trying was one of the happiest moments I've ever witnessed.

What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional aftermath. Even though I knew the baby was safe with his parents, leaving the hospital without a baby triggered something in my brain. I fell into a deep depression and struggled to get out of bed or even function.

While I was going through that, one of my closest friends thought I had ignored her and ended our friendship. We eventually talked it through and she apologized, but things were never the same.

A few months later, my husband lost his job. We nearly lost our house before things finally started improving.
Then, on Halloween 2023, we were hit by a driver who ran a red light. The accident left me with permanent partial hearing loss in my left ear.

After that, I got a new job that I genuinely loved, but once my boss learned about my hearing loss, I felt like I was being set up to fail. I eventually lost that job and had to report the discrimination just to receive unemployment.
During that time, my husband and I also lost an entire friend group that had become like family. I still don't know what I did wrong. One day we were incredibly close, and the next we were being ignored. Not having closure has been devastating.

After nine months of unemployment and over 100 interviews, I finally found another job. I loved it. I loved the students, my coworkers, and the work itself.
Then this year, my boss lied to the principal about me, and my contract wasn't renewed. I later found out from a coworker that he admitted to lying because of a teacher that quit because she was caught doing almost illegal things where I was part of the group who brought it up (I later found some of her possessions tucked into his desk where he sees it often, and a teacher he was hoping to get moved over who also ended up quitting after I was let go, not because of my performance.

Now I'm job hunting all over again.

My mom is gone. My dad moved across the country, and I barely see him. I've lost people I thought would always be in my life. Every time I think I'm finally getting back on my feet, something else knocks me down.

Today I got my first rejection from a job I interviewed for, and it opened up everything I've been trying to keep buried

I'm exhausted.

I've been trying so hard to stay strong for my husband and my kids, but I feel like I'm running out of strength. I've kept so much inside because I'm terrified of losing more people.

Lately I've started wondering if everyone would be better off without me, and that thought scares me. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

I'm not posting this because I want attention. I'm posting because I don't know what to do anymore, and I don't want to keep feeling like this.

If you've been through something similar or have any advice on how to keep going when life just keeps hitting you over and over, I'd really appreciate hearing from you.
I also have one more favor to ask. I'm usually not someone who asks for prayers (I usually want to make sure those around me are cared for more then worrying about myself), but I feel like I've reached the point where I need all the hope I can get. If you could keep me and my family in your prayers, I would be incredibly grateful.
Thank you for reading this.

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this. I think I just need someone to listen because I feel like I'm drowning.

Over the last few years, it feels like my life has been one bad thing after another.

In January 2023, when I was 35 weeks pregnant as a surrogate, my mom died suddenly. She struggled with prescription and alcohol addiction and chronic pain, so while it was unexpected, it also wasn't completely shocking. Losing her shattered me.

A week and a half later, complications with the pregnancy meant I had to deliver early. During labor, I had a severe reaction to my epidural. My blood pressure dropped so low that I became unresponsive for around 20 minutes. Thankfully, the baby was healthy, and seeing his parents finally meet him after years of trying was one of the happiest moments I've ever witnessed.

What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional aftermath. Even though I knew the baby was safe with his parents, leaving the hospital without a baby triggered something in my brain. I fell into a deep depression and struggled to get out of bed or even function.

While I was going through that, one of my closest friends thought I had ignored her and ended our friendship. We eventually talked it through and she apologized, but things were never the same.

A few months later, my husband lost his job. We nearly lost our house before things finally started improving. He has an amazing job now, but it was so stressful for a while.

Then, on Halloween 2023, we were hit by a driver who ran a red light. The accident left me with permanent partial hearing loss in my left ear.

After that, I got a new job that I genuinely loved, but once my boss learned about my hearing loss, I felt like I was being set up to fail. They kept setting up impossible to reach requirements for me until I couldn’t hit them anymore. I eventually lost that job and had to report the discrimination just to receive unemployment.

During that time, my husband and I also lost an entire friend group that had become like family. I still don't know what I did wrong. One day we were incredibly close, and the next we were being ignored. Not having closure has been devastating.

After nine months of unemployment and over 100 interviews, I finally found another job. I loved it. I loved the students, my coworkers, and the work itself.

Then this year, my boss lied to the principal about me, and my contract wasn't renewed. I later found out from a coworker that I’ve become incredibly close with that he admitted to lying because he felt I had led a group that ended up getting another teacher to quit when we brought up almost illegal things she had done with kids in our classroom, as well as him wanting to bring a teacher from another classroom in our room, not because of my performance.

Now I'm job hunting all over again.

My mom is gone. My dad moved across the country, and I barely see him. I've lost people I thought would always be in my life. Every time I think I'm finally getting back on my feet, something else knocks me down.

Today I got my first rejection from a job I interviewed for, and it opened up everything I've been trying to keep buried.

I'm exhausted.

I've been trying so hard to stay strong for my husband and my kids, but I feel like I'm running out of strength. I've kept so much inside because I'm terrified of losing more people.

Lately I've started wondering if everyone would be better off without me, and that thought scares me.

I'm not posting this because I want attention. I'm posting because I don't know what to do anymore, and I don't want to keep feeling like this.

If you've been through something similar or have any advice on how to keep going when life just keeps hitting you over and over, I'd really appreciate hearing from you.