Gambling on Hope
I've been with her for over a decade now. Married. Worked on our problems and some things have changed. But not in line with Intimacy. It's the problem most of us face here in this thread. Real, Powerful, Loving, Intimacy. It's what makes us feel special. It is why we have families and live out our lives....
We just want the people we choose to be with to want to touch us and show us love through that physical contact. I can tell you it's what I crave more than anything in my miserable life for the last 7 years I haven't had that. To be so disconnected with the person whom is my best friend. Who I still laugh with and take care of.
I love her more than my own happiness and I've accepted that I will Gamble my life to the hope that she will one day give me that. I know she's genuine. I know she does love me. Being on this path we've suffered for 7 years now with no Intimacy. What that does to a person should be considered Trauma. I feel changed and not the same person I once was. I've given up my resentment and anger. I've had thoughts of ending my existence. I've told her I'm putting all my hope into her. And I just hope I'm not wrong....
Lastly, the only thing I want in life is to be a father. I want a family of my own. I'm an only child so it makes it more difficult because my family line ends with me and I don't want it to. But I'm running out of time....
Thanks for listening to my vent. I hope we all can find intimacy with our loved ones one day. Everyone deserves happiness.