u/Wild_Performer1996

I have two tickets to the show in toronto tomorrow on august 19th. bought for $150 selling for $100

I made another post previously about consoling my dad, but there have been some really difficult updates and I just need reassurance I am making the right decision here.

For context my parents used the "mix the dads sperm with the donor sperm and see which one takes" method with a clinic. They always knew it was a possibility that I was donor conceived but they never confirmed it.

I'm 19 but already have a pretty strong career started and a good professional reputation. my father is a person of color (he is a minority that predominately has darker tan skin and dark hair like himself) and my mother and donor are both white. I have built my entire career and future career plans around screaming from the rooftops that I am mixed and that I am 50% of his race. It is a ethnicity that struggles with societal injustices and major human rights violates so my entire career is advocating for their rights and fighting for justice. I plan on becoming a lawyer and working in the government with this form of advocacy.

Finding out that I was donor conceived for me does not negate that this was the culture I was raised in and even though I am genetically fully white I still feel closely tied to this culture and ethnicity and am going to continue fighting for their rights, speaking the language, and connecting closely with other people in the same minority group.

The problem is that going forward I want to be honest about this discovery. I'm launching a website this week about fighting for their rights, as well as about identity, and finding a sense of belonging. My website is not just for people reconnecting with this specific culture but also adoptees, donor conceived people, people whose family's have lost connection with their heritage, really anyone struggling with identity and self perception in this sense. On my website I want to state in a small line among hundreds of other lines about what the culture and heritage means to my fathers family that while this is not my biological relation it is still the culture I was raised in, and it adds a whole new layer of identity and self-perception for me.

I brought this up to my father to warn him preemptively, I explained to him why I wanted to do it (not only to protect my future career but also to be honest and not take away from the people who do genuinely hold this ethnic background) but that he is still my only father and my family and I still feel passionately about these issues because of him.

He all but lost it and said he doesn't support that, thinks it's a huge mistake, and it's none of anyone's business. The problem is mainly for me that I don't want to build a platform built on dishonesty, and if I don't tell people now and it comes out later on in my career it would be career ending, and the demolition of my professional reputation. I also feel like he shouldn't be allowed to have an opinion on this topic because he always knew it was a possibility and still let me start my career telling everyone I was biologically this ethnicity.

I guess I'm just looking for support in that I'm making the right decision here and advice on what I should do about my dad as I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Like I don’t even know how to go about this. I live in an apartment style residence this year and I was talking to my new roommate, long story short I found out shes close and personal friends with the man who made me go insane last year.

I havent brought it up yet but like what if he come over to our apartment? I don’t even know how to approach this situation like do I just request to be in a different room at this point? I’m confused someone help.

Hi everyone! for context my parents and I (19) just found out I am a donor baby. My parents used IVF treatments to conceive me and on their last try they gave the doctor consent to mix both my dads sperm and a donor sperm, my parents never wanted to know which one actually worked.

Recently I checked my ancestry DNA matches and found five half siblings. I asked my parents if they had ever donated eggs or sperm (the potential that I was a donor baby did not even cross my mind.) Well my dad panicked and said he had in college, I spent a day and a half telling him about the matches I had found, how they looked like me, and consoling him. I thought he was upset that I found out and that the children had been able to get in contact with me.

I looked more closely at some of my other paternal matches and realized my dad did not know any of them, when I asked my mom about she cried and said they didn't know. My dad had been crying for two days straight apparently and locking himself in his room after work. I told him that it didn't matter to me because I genuinely don't care, he's still my dad and the man who raised me and I don't think any differently of him.

He was extremely happy with that and has been doing okay since, but I am curious about my half siblings and donor, and every time I want to talk to my parents about it my mother is curious but my dad shuts down and goes quiet.

I don't know how to go about this, he's very upset whenever I bring it up but I don't think it changes anything and I think its good to communicate about it. Has anyone else been in a similar situation, any advice?

I'm sharing this to help other people who might feel stuck when trying to locate their donor/donor siblings like I did three days ago. I'm 19 and three days ago I found out I was a donor baby. I contacted all of my DNA matches on my paternal side (my parents used a sperm donor) but only one responded. I got a response form the mother of my half-sister, as I knew genuinely nothing about the fact that I was donor conceived, or the donor profile, she got me in contact with her daughter, my half sister. My half sister shared our donor profile number with me, the clinic her mother purchased the donation from, and the donor profile photo. I ran the profile photo through reverse image search, checked every donor catalogue available in North America, didn't sleep for two nights straight, and probably ran through at least twenty different websites. It was emotional for sure, and I felt defeated, but I really wanted to find half siblings and the donor just because the internet told me I couldn't.

One helpful tool I can recommend is 'Search Angels', you can fill out a form with all of the information you have and they can help track down your donor or half siblings. Nothing was working for me though, he was no longer catalogued in any database, and my DNA matches on several websites couldn't help. Finally I tried the website the donor sibling registry. Through there I put in my donor profile number and found other donor families, I contacted every single one with a small and polite introduction. Two of them responded and we chatted, and then we connected over Facebook (their idea) and after we shared information both ways, one of the women had actually met my donor and was in contact with him. I explained to her why I wanted to contact him (curiosity's sake not to form any kind of relationship) and she agreed to give me his Facebook, and informed me that he welcomes contact from his donor conceived children.

Over the last three days I explored many more routes in finding information than this, I learned what was helpful and what wasn't. Every person I contacted I approached with respect and a quiet introduction "Hi! my name is *blank* my DNA matched with *blanks* as half siblings!" etc. etc. At the start I was hopeless, but I explored every possible option.

I want to give advice to other people and help them find other routes if they feel they really can't find any information. Feel free to comment!

I go to a different university in the capital right now and just finished first year. I hated it tho and my gpa sucks but I also have a good job there and want to go into law so it might be better. I applied to mac and just got accepted into the global peace and social justice program. can someone please tell me if I should transfer or if this would be the biggest mistake of my life.