u/WinAccording796

Hello everyone, I’d like to share the story of how my wedding was completely ruined by Mister Thomas Edward Yorke from the band Radiohead.

For context, I am a 32-year-old male, and my wife (31F) and I decided to get married last year. We had planned a huge wedding with all of our family and friends in attendance. It was meant to be the happiest day of our lives.

The day started perfectly. Sunlight poured through the windows of the old stone chapel, you could hear birds chirp outside as if they had been hired for the occasion. White roses lined the aisle in flawless rows. You could hear laughter, cheering, and the happy murmuring of guests. It felt warm, bright, and exciting.

Then I saw her. My beautiful soon-to-be wife walked down the aisle, smiling at me. I genuinely could not believe what I was seeing. It felt surreal, like some nice dream that I never wanted to wake up from.

She reached the altar and took my hands. The priest smiled and asked:

“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

But before I could speak I was interrupted by a strangely familiar voice:

“Weddings are a capitalist illusion.” said Thom Yorke in a raspy voice. He inched toward us with short but fast steps. As he stepped directly in front of me, he looked me dead in the eyes, unzipped his trousers, and began pissing all over my suit. As he did so, Thom kept shouting: This is what you get if you mess with us! He continued singing "the raindrops the raindrops the raindrops the raindrops...." while pissing all over me.

My wife had enough and attempted to intervene, but Thom only pivoted slightly, increasing the spray radius.

By then everyone including my wife had left the wedding leaving me soaking in thom's urine.

He zipped up, gave me a nod of approval, grabbed a fistful of lemons, and whispered:

“Just this one here.”

Then he transformed into a tiny mouse and vanished. To this day, no one truly knows where he went.

Me and my wife are still happily married, although we never had a second ceremony and aren't planning to have an another one any time soon.