Am I being materialistic, or is my boyfriend just cheap with me?
I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years. He's a doctor, earns good money, no debt. I'm a student training to be a social worker, so I'll always earn less than him.
Gift thing:
He spent £15 on my last birthday. That's pretty typical. Meanwhile, he buys his mum gold jewellery and spends loads on his siblings no list needed, he just does it. He's gotten better at making my gifts more personal, which is nice, but the money he spends on me is still tiny compared to what he spends on them or himself (cars, VR, etc.). He said I can write a list too, but I feel awkward doing that when his family doesn't have to.
50/50 thing:
We've talked about moving in together. He prefers 50/50. I suggested proportional (same percentage of our salaries) he might reconsider later but for now he likes equal split. So far we've done 50/50 – holidays, Splitwise, everything equal. I told him I'd appreciate more generosity sometimes, and he did take me out for a nice dinner after that, so he does listen a bit.
He wants kids one day. I'm not fussed either way, but if we do, my career and income will take a hit while his won't. That scares me.
Am I being materialistic? It's not the £15 itself, it's the pattern. family gets loads, I get scraps. And 50/50 feels unfair when he earns so much more. But I also worry I'm just being ungrateful and he'll think I'm a gold-digger.
Anyone been through this? Am I overthinking?