I have an impulse to ruin everything I’ve built
I’m married with 2 beautiful children. My husband is a virgo who is very content with our life as they are. Going to work, picking the kids up from kindergarten, spending time together on the weekends, working on personal projects, unwinding with a good book or a video game, eating family dinners together.
I am so fucking bored. Out of my mind bored. Every day is the same. Our kids are small, they still need me, physically near them. My husband thinks I should get a hobby. Ceramics. Knitting. Group sports.
I want to break shit. I want chaos. I want to blow everything up. I want to go and feel desired, flirt, fuck, fall in love all over again. Do stupid shit with people I don’t necessarily care about too much.
And come back home to my husband and kids.
I tried floating an open relationship to my husband. Bad fucking idea. Almost gave him a nervous breakdown. Absolute no, might as well get divorced as far as he’s concerned.
I’m feeling trapped. I need advice from fellow sags.
Anyone ever experienced this? Am I just completely out of touch with reality? How do I spend the rest of my life with my beautiful family without going insane?